SPEAKER_01 0:00

How many spanking sessions are they gonna have before they start like not using it for that? Yeah, start using it for grilled cheese sandwiches and watching the game, you know. Welcome to another episode of Smells Like Humans. This is the podcast where we explore the curious things that people do, the very human things that grab our attention and cause us to wonder what and why? I'm Ross, your host, and today's guest is one of my favorite people, a regular guest on this show, and someone who I am 47% sure would help me hide a body.

SPEAKER_02 0:38

Jamie. I absolutely would. Hi Jamie.

SPEAKER_01 0:42

Thanks for being here, and thanks for hiding that body. And welcome to the show, everyone. We appreciate you. We appreciate your listening. As always, we ask you if you wouldn't mind, please share a link to one of your favorite episodes. All the episodes are different. You're bound to find one you like and one that might fit someone else's sensibility or sense of humor. And if you'd like to do that, that really helps us grow the show, and we appreciate it. Now, Jamie, let's get going. Let's do it. We know that people like to remodel their living spaces.

SPEAKER_02 1:16

I love it.

SPEAKER_01 1:17

Whether that be a fresh coat of paint or a complete teardown and rebuild. Have you ever done anything like that? Remodeled anything? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:25

What do you think about it? Do you like remodeling? That's my favorite thing to do. Oh, yeah? Oh, I love it. Yeah. What's the biggest remodeling you've ever done?

SPEAKER_02 1:33

Um, I don't know. I guess uh we I owned a townhouse for a little bit. I didn't like tear down any walls or anything, but like repainting and you know, all that kind of stuff.

SPEAKER_01 1:42

Does the process is that fun for you, or do you more get into the final product?

SPEAKER_02 1:48

Uh yeah, I like both. Like organize things and get them exactly how I want. So it's like like I love building IKEA furniture or like putting together furniture. The one person.

SPEAKER_01 2:00

The one and only. The one happy IKEA IKEA or IKEA.

SPEAKER_02 2:04

I'm like, why do I have all these screws left over? I'm sure it's fine.

SPEAKER_01 2:08

I'm sure it's fine. I'm sure it's fine. That sounds like the my doctor. Um, does it IKEA or Ikea?

SPEAKER_02 2:15

I have no idea.

SPEAKER_01 2:16

Okay. Then we won't refer to it in any manner. So I've done a lot of remodeling. I kind of have to admit to a bias, though, after doing several large projects, including, I guess I need to include, I helped design a forever house.

SPEAKER_02 2:40

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 2:40

Do you know what a forever house is?

SPEAKER_02 2:43

Um, a house that you have forever?

SPEAKER_01 2:45

Well, that's the thought. Okay. So you overspend on the making it perfect. Yes. It because customize it to you. Once we once this is done, it's going to be perfect, and there'll be no reason to ever Yeah, we'll be here forever. And then you're not.

SPEAKER_02 3:04

You're not.

SPEAKER_01 3:05

I think that a lot of times when we decide to take on a remodeling project while we're in a relationship, it can be a sign that something is wrong with the relationship.

SPEAKER_02 3:20

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 3:21

And you're trying to fix it indirectly.

SPEAKER_02 3:25

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 3:27

I call it real it's one of the relationship distractions.

SPEAKER_02 3:32

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 3:32

So your relationship is kind of funky, but you're not really addressing it, and you get this idea, and you usually it's with your partner. Yeah. Let's remodel. Or let's have a kid.

SPEAKER_02 3:48

I definitely agree with uh have a kid.

SPEAKER_01 3:51

Or let's get a pet or another pet or another pet. Yeah. Or let's go on some fantastic trip. Or let's move. I then there's probably many other things, but those are the ones that come to mind as I think things to distract from perhaps some fundamental issues that are wrong. Now, obviously, there are people who do all these things and their relationship is perfectly fine. Right. But I think in a lot of cases it can be a signal that something is off, and rather than deal with the thing that is off, you try to create excitement, stimulation, and a way to be maybe have some intimacy with your partner that you can't get, you know, any other way by having a project or a kid or something that you both are working on. Yes. Yeah. And the cool thing about distractions, the the allure of a distraction is you can imagine how cool everything will be once the thing is there. Once we have this kid, we're gonna have a good relationship again.

SPEAKER_02 5:03

It'll bring us together.

SPEAKER_01 5:05

Yeah, it'll bring us together. Or that's let's get another dog. Yeah. Because adding another dog is what we need. I mean, well, I guess that's always right. That's always right. Right. Just just keep them coming.

SPEAKER_02 5:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:20

I just want every day a dump truck of puppies filled with puppies to just drop a load right in my yard.

SPEAKER_00 5:28

I don't have a yard right now, but the idea of that, like beep, beep, beep, puppies, come on, puppies, join the other puppies.

SPEAKER_01 5:38

That would be ideal. That would be ideal. But um, I do think so. I have this bias. Okay. We're humans are we're really good at distracting ourselves from dealing with other people that we're in relationships with. Um and and the thing is, our friends always see it before we do. We're when you're in the relationship, it's hard to see that maybe there's something that isn't being addressed, even though it seems obvious when we look at other people's.

SPEAKER_02 6:05

I don't know if I think that that necessarily is true, but maybe it's not because of good day. Because I like to reorganize and change things and stuff, you know, it's a thing that I enjoy. But I do kind of see what you're saying because I definitely think that your um like your house and your living quarters or whatever, the state that they're in are kind of a reflection of your mindset. So like if your house is like in chaos, like cluttered and messy and whatever, it's kind of like maybe you're not doing so good as a person. Like, don't you feel like when you like do a deep clean of your apartment or your house or whatever, that like mentally you just feel better? Yeah, I'm if your apartment's a mess, then it you feel kind of a mess.

SPEAKER_01 7:01

I always tell people I'm a messy, neat person.

SPEAKER_02 7:04

Are you?

SPEAKER_01 7:05

So I make a lot of messes, but I don't like having mess.

SPEAKER_02 7:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:10

So I'm messy.

SPEAKER_02 7:11

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 7:12

You always know where I just was. Uh-huh. It looks like wow, yeah, what happened there. But then I don't let the I don't let it sit like that. I'll go and clean it all back up. So I like things neat, but I'm not a neat person.

SPEAKER_02 7:26

Kind of get what you're saying, is like uh if you r want to really change your living situ your environment that you're living in, maybe it's because something needs to change in your personal life. It's kind of like a ref reflection kind of a thing.

SPEAKER_01 7:42

Before you start that remodeling project, if you're in a relationship, or even when you're not, like what am I what's this about?

SPEAKER_02 7:49

Is this a distraction from being big?

SPEAKER_01 7:52

And and there's nothing wrong with distractions as long as you like, hey, I need a distraction. I need to like repaint and I I want a project because I'm stuck in my place and it's COVID time and I want to do something. That's okay. Like, there's nothing necessarily wrong with distractions. Now, when it's a k living human being, yeah, that's when it gets a little muddy. Yeah, it gets a little muddy. But the whole time you're clinging on to this idea, when this is done, we will finally be happy. Won't it be cool? The kitchen will look so awesome. We're doing this new bathroom, you know. Won't it be awesome? And like I said, I like distractions as much as the next person. But the problem is we often find that that new bathroom or that remodeled kitchen or that sun deck we added on or whatever, doesn't make us feel any happier because it's not really addressing what was wrong in the first place.

SPEAKER_00 8:46

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 8:47

Same thing with adding a kid to the situation because a kid adds a lot of stress. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 8:52

There's so many couples that have had a kid to put a slap a band-aid on the relationship.

SPEAKER_01 8:59

And it doesn't always work.

SPEAKER_02 9:01

That is a big decision.

SPEAKER_01 9:03

Yeah, and it's there's it's not like the magic cure.

SPEAKER_02 9:08

And permanent.

SPEAKER_01 9:10

Very permanent.

SPEAKER_02 9:11

Very permanent.

SPEAKER_01 9:13

More permanent than a garbage truck filled with puppies. I didn't mean to say garbage truck, dump truck. Of course, it could be a garbage truck too. And sometimes, yeah, the bathroom does need upgrading. You know, the tub is an alligator trap or the tile is chipping off and your mouthwash. You need to do something. Like it actually needs it needs to be done, but again, it still can serve as a distraction to underlying issues. And all of the renovations I did, including designing my forever home.

SPEAKER_02 9:46

Oh, are you still there?

SPEAKER_01 9:48

Nope. It's only there like three years. Couldn't get out of there fast enough. Um, none of those. So I don't know. Let's say I've done four major renovations. Let's just say, I don't know what the number is. But the disruptive kind with the dust and the noise and the subcrack subcrackers.

SPEAKER_02 10:08

Subcrackers. The subcrackers. So that sounds delicious. More subcontractors.

SPEAKER_01 10:14

Oh, it's a cracky, it's a cracky, it's a subway sandwich that crackles because it's filled with potato chips. Yeah. That's what I want. A subcracker. I don't even want to do any more of this episode. I just want to go get a subcracker. Let's go. All of the uh all of those rentos I did did not add much, if any, positive value in my life. You get over it very fast. Whatever little whatever little hit you get about seeing that new countertop that you were drooling over in the showroom and how cool it was going to look in your house. Yeah, it's I mean it's it's nice to see it, but it it quickly loses its excitement value. And I think that's why some couples, when they get to the end of one of these renovations, they break up. It's like, oh, this didn't fix anything. It's still me and you. We got a cool countertop. Yeah. You're not doing it for me. Or people they move on to the next distraction. So they just go, let's now what else can we afford to remodel? Or let's get let's get a baby in here. Any baby.

SPEAKER_00 11:28

That baby. A dump truck filled with babies and puppies.

SPEAKER_01 11:32

Whatever you got in that truck. Just dump it in our yard. Do you know, Jamie, about the Winchester Mystery House?

SPEAKER_02 11:39

No, tell me.

SPEAKER_01 11:40

See, I would have thought you would know about it.

SPEAKER_02 11:42

Winchester. Maybe if you tell me, I'll remember.

SPEAKER_01 11:45

It's a house with 161 rooms, 40 bedrooms, two ballrooms, one completed, one unfinished, 47 fireplaces, 10,000 panes of glass, 17 chimneys with evidence of two others, two basement levels, and three elevators. That doesn't seem like enough elevators for this was the home, uh this was the project of a lady who was married to the Winchester gun guy. Oh, this is off, her their child croaks off tragically. She talks to a Boston medium who reportedly channels the spirit of her late husband and basically telling her that she should leave and continuously build homes as she goes. And every time she finishes the home, she needs to move on, and that's the way to keep evil spirits away. So when she finally gets out to California, she just decided to continue to remodel or add to her current home. Yeah, no matter how crazy it was. So first of all, she has tons of dough. Yeah. Okay. So she can do this. And she was depressed.

SPEAKER_02 12:58

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 12:59

And so what she thought she needed to do either as a distraction for her whole life or to actually keep evil spirits away was just to keep remodeling and adding to this house. So she would have there's stairs that don't go anywhere, there's all these rooms that don't do anything, and that's why there's all these chimneys and fireplaces and all this stuff. It's haphazard as hell, lots of oddities, doors that don't go anywhere, windows overlooking other rooms. It's really spooky and weird. Cool. And it's like that's the ultimate expression of what I'm talking about. It's like, yeah, I'm gonna keep doing this. There's it's gonna instead of dealing with the fact that I'm depressed, I feel lonely, I feel vulnerable, I feel angry, whatever it is, and really process that out. No, what instead I'll do is I'll buy I'll build 17 chimneys.

SPEAKER_02 13:45

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. The state of your home is a direct reflection of your mental state.

SPEAKER_01 13:52

Boom. Well said. So people have the reasons for remodeling distractions. Frankly, again, I don't have any problem with it. If you can do it and feel reasonably satisfied, but if you're doing it and you're still not feeling, you still feel that emptiness, then that's maybe when it's time to look at maybe what else is going on. There's a real ceiling on how much joy you get out of doing these projects. Once you've kind of showed them off to your friends, you know, like, hey, look at a new bathroom. You've got to look at what we've done with the bathroom. Whoa, it's so good. You can poop in here. Yeah, you can poop in here. Because we couldn't do that before. We were just putting it in a bag and throwing it out the window. Our neighbors hate that. You know, it's one thing to have puppies dumped off, but to actually be throwing stuff dumps out onto the lawn, that's a good way to get reported to the HOA. I'm sorry. We you know you cannot hotbag it. People are now including sex rooms and their remodels, sometimes called an adult rumpus room.

SPEAKER_02 14:59

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 15:00

I like rumpus room as a name.

SPEAKER_02 15:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:03

It's so good.

SPEAKER_02 15:04

It's especially good for a sex room. Yeah, just the rump.

SPEAKER_01 15:08

Yeah, yes. You know, thank you for pointing that out. Um, because of the rump. Now, when I was a kid, we had something called a rec room, which was basically a basement, but it's where we were allowed to recreate and that's not what you want your sex room to be called. No, not a rec room. I never had a rumpus room, but I had a friend.

SPEAKER_03 15:28

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 15:29

That sounds like something you'd say. I had a friend. Had one friend. No, it's like it sounds like when someone says, Well, I have a girlfriend in Canada. Yeah. So I did have a friend who had a rumpus room, and they actually called it that.

SPEAKER_02 15:42

Weird.

SPEAKER_01 15:42

And the mother would say, Go and play in the rumpus room, kids.

SPEAKER_02 15:46

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 15:46

I'd be like, rumpus.

SPEAKER_02 15:48

Was she like an old British nanny?

SPEAKER_01 15:50

No. No, she wasn't. She wasn't.

SPEAKER_02 15:52

Like a Mrs. Doubtfire.

SPEAKER_01 15:54

No, no, really, she really wasn't.

SPEAKER_00 15:56

Hey, you kids, go out in the rumpus room.

SPEAKER_02 15:58

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 15:59

Mama's gotta smoke and watch her stories.

SPEAKER_02 16:02

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 16:02

Anyway, there's this new Netflix show, which I asked you to take a look at. It's called How to Build a Sex Room or Something. So we both took a look at this episode. It's like HGTV meets Dr. Ruth. I don't know if you know who Dr. Ruth is, but she was famous for a while as a sex therapist, and she people thought she was interesting because she was this small little older woman with a German accent, and but she spoke very frankly about sex, which is very positive. And but there was nothing like leering or sexy or anything about what she was doing. She talked about it very clinically, but openly. The host is a woman, English accent.

SPEAKER_02 16:41

Older.

SPEAKER_01 16:42

She's lived in Los Angeles for 20 years, but she still sounds like she's fresh out of the state. Oh, interesting.

SPEAKER_02 16:49

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 16:49

She's called the Mary Poppins of Sex Rooms.

SPEAKER_02 16:52

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 16:54

She reminds me of this character. It was on the old David Letterman show called Larry Bud Melman. I sent you a picture. I don't know if you had a chance to see it.

SPEAKER_02 17:01

No, I didn't.

SPEAKER_01 17:02

You need to look at your phone right now and look up Larry Bud Melman.

SPEAKER_02 17:06

Oh, yeah. Twins.

SPEAKER_01 17:07

Yeah, it's kind of like if that's theory. If Larry Bud was her brother, I'd believe it.

SPEAKER_02 17:12

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 17:12

Yep. She looks like Larry Bud Melman. She's not a sex therapist. No. Obviously. She comes across to me more like a body ant.

SPEAKER_02 17:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:23

They dress her in, did you know she's wearing like bright flowy scarves and shall that gives her like a little added sort of credibility, I think, as a as a kind of a guru.

SPEAKER_02 17:33

Sure.

SPEAKER_01 17:33

I think if you wear flowy clothes.

SPEAKER_02 17:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:36

I think if you're gonna be a guru, you don't show up all buttoned up and no. You need to have easy breezy. Yeah, easy breezy. I think she plays the part pretty well. So basically, what this show is is in my view, I want to know what you think. In my view, they use the remodel as a gimmick. So they can really what the show seems to be really about is getting couples, different types of couples, to talk about their sex lives, to look at sex toys, which seems a little creepy, and then show some titillating moments. In my case, uh the show I watched, they had a flogging demonstration. They did. So to me, it feels kind of voyeuristic. Yeah. And that's kind of the show's about titillation and voyeurism, and it's really not about the remodel so much. No, not so much. What did you think?

SPEAKER_02 18:27

Um, I thought it was pretty okay. I thought that the host was really trying to go over the top with like to be like, yes, I am a sex person and I love sex things. Yeah. But I was like, I'm not know if I'm really buying it. It kind of seems like she fell into this profession, right? Like it was accidental. Yeah, because she said she was doing home remodels and then someone asked her to do a sex room, and she was like, I've never done that before. I'll do it. And now that's the thing that she does.

SPEAKER_01 18:57

And she said the first time that she was asked to do one, she was shocked.

SPEAKER_02 19:01

Shocked. Yeah, and I feel like when I looked at the sex room, I was like, I could do that.

SPEAKER_01 19:07

Well, that's the thing. There's very little emphasis placed on the actual construction, like a lot of these shows do.

SPEAKER_02 19:14

She just slapped a coat of paint on and threw a couple torture devices on it.

SPEAKER_01 19:19

They aren't doing that much. It's more about the toys and the suggestive uh decorations. Yeah. Like let's hang up some BDSM things and just to suggest something. In the episode I watched, uh during the sexy time with the couple when they're talking when she's talking to them and kind of pulling out little things.

SPEAKER_02 19:40

Nuggets of information.

SPEAKER_01 19:41

Oh, and and also from them, but also like showing them how with these hand cups. Yeah. And she has this kind of like weirdly creepy body ant kind of hey, have you ever thought about some restraint?

SPEAKER_02 19:53

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 19:54

I don't know. It seemed a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 19:55

That's what I'm saying. Is she goes like too over the top where it's not believable, right? Yeah. When she's like, oh, I'm so into this. I'm so about this. And I'm like, Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:06

And you know, it's it's a it's a line, right? Because, you know, sex positivity, body positivity, all these things. I'm all about it.

SPEAKER_00 20:14

About it. Love it.

SPEAKER_01 20:15

And I don't care what people, I mean, you know, whatever. As a show, it just seems a little contrived. Totally. And so this one couple was saying they're not, they're in, they were talking about what they're into, what they like, what they don't like, and they were not really into pain stuff. But then she equips their sex room, which was a a basement. Yes. Uh very cool.

SPEAKER_02 20:38

With a really low ceiling. Hard to get, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:41

It felt um claustrophobic to me. But anyway, that's what they had to work with. But she puts in this huge spanking bench. Yeah. And that's not what they're about. Yeah, I mean, I'm sure they'll try it, but what I thought was interesting, so one of the people, one of the partners, climbs on this bench to kind of just like, let me just try it. I mean, they weren't going to do anything, but she just wanted to feel up, feel what it felt like. So she's on this bench, and I don't know if she said it or the part, the male partner said, This would make a great coffee table. We didn't catch that. But we'll have to clean it after reuse it for the spanking session. Uh-huh. But but then I was like, to me, that switched on a light. It's like, that's just like what happens with exercise, exercise equipment.

SPEAKER_02 21:30

You know, it becomes something else.

SPEAKER_01 21:31

Yes, like a coat hanger or whatever. Coat hanger, a clothes horse. How many spanking sessions they're going to have before they start like not using it for that. Yeah, start using it for grilled cheese sandwiches and watching the game, you know. When I look at all these gadgets and things hanging on the walls and all this stuff, especially in a basement setting, you know what I'm thinking of? I'm thinking this stuff's gonna get dusty as hell.

SPEAKER_02 22:00

Dusty.

SPEAKER_01 22:00

And then it's not going to be so cool.

SPEAKER_02 22:02

Don't put it in your bits.

SPEAKER_01 22:04

Yeah. So you're going to have to be always cleaning all this stuff. And I, you know, it just felt like a project. Like, uh, I don't know. Can my sex room just be a hose out? You know, like a dog thing where you hope.

SPEAKER_02 22:18

Right. Also, I think she made the whole room white, and that just I don't know. It seems like a choice for a sex room. Yeah. We get all kinds of liquids and yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:31

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 22:32

I read about a couple of people that other people that were on the show, a couple of burlesque performers, and they put a bunch of sex toys on the wall. And she goes, When guests come over, they have guests over and they let them come in. See, that's one of the questions they have for you, but they have guests over and they all like to feel the objects on the wall.

SPEAKER_02 22:52

Don't touch my junk.

SPEAKER_01 22:55

Doesn't that mean you have to like and be going behind them with vinegar and something?

SPEAKER_02 23:00

Sure.

SPEAKER_01 23:00

Ammonia, whatever. I don't know what you call them.

SPEAKER_02 23:02

You have to get special cleaner for those things.

SPEAKER_01 23:04

Yeah, like wow. Have people like grabbing onto your toys? I don't want that. And they instead of calling them sex rooms, some people call them sacred spaces or fantasy rooms. Yeah, so the sex room is a thing that I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_02 23:18

I'm what's the resale value on the old sex room?

SPEAKER_01 23:22

Yeah, because they can cost $30,000 to $70,000 or even more. Some people have spent up to $200,000 on a sex dungeon in their house. And then so my first question is if you so if you do a sex room in your house, are you are is it a secret room that nobody knows about except you and who your partner or whoever you have involved in your sex world? Or do you like tour when you tour, hey, who wants to see the house? This is the kitchen, this is the master, this is the sex dungeon. Do you show people what are you doing?

SPEAKER_02 23:56

Wouldn't it be sexier if it was like a little secret? I thought so. Yeah. I would I would do like a behind the bookcase kind of a thing. You like pull out a sexy named book. I can't think of a single book name.

SPEAKER_01 24:09

Lady Chatterley's Lover. Yes. D. H. Lawrence.

SPEAKER_02 24:12

You pull that out, the bookcase opens, sex dungeon.

SPEAKER_01 24:16

Yeah. I think that's if you're gonna go down that road, it would keep it a secret, especially if it had if it if it really were like a place to like go beyond like the normal, whatever your your normal sexual sensibilities and boundaries were. If it was about boundary exploration, there would probably be some unusual things going on in there. I don't know if I'd be ready to share that with friends and people are into family.

SPEAKER_02 24:41

You're you're into like different things that are maybe very strange to other people. Right. And you maybe just want to keep that as your own private thing.

SPEAKER_01 24:51

You have the you have the boss over for a little old-fashioned dinner.

unknown 24:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:56

And you may not want him to see your spanking bench. Right. The coffee stains. Sure. Um your grilled cheese. The grilled cheese stains. Whatever those stains are. It looks like grilled cheese, but it's not. You don't want to know what that is. I think it gets more difficult when you have like little ones in the house. Sure. Not sure because kids find stuff. And I would be concerned that if a couple is having intimacy issues and they go to a sex room as a way to solve that, you could drop 70,000. You could have this beautiful sex room and it not fix anything.

SPEAKER_02 25:29

Yeah, it really seems like the sex room would only work if you're already have a very healthy sex life. Yeah. You're crushing it and you want to expand the boundaries, right? But if you're struggling uh to have sex with your partner or be intimate with your partner, the sex room doesn't really seem like that's gonna fix it.

SPEAKER_01 25:50

And the other thing, and I know everybody knows this, but you can have a great sex life and your relationship still boils chunks. Yeah, that sucks. So I mean you can spend 70 grand and your sex is still even better. Right. But it's not helping you deal with the fact that you want to choke the person while they're sleeping. Yes. Because that's not the good kind of choking.

SPEAKER_02 26:13

No.

SPEAKER_01 26:13

Sleep chokes. Only in the sex room. Only in the sex room on the choking bench. Do they have a choking bench? Probably do. Probably. My thinking is pretty pragmatic. Okay, let's hear it. Before you blow out 70 grand on this, you know, putting dildos on your wall and having your friends come over and touch them.

SPEAKER_02 26:33

Fundle, fondle your dildos.

SPEAKER_01 26:35

Yeah, I'm on a follow- fondle your wall dildos and now come behind me with a vinegar spray or whatever. I'm sure that's not good for them.

SPEAKER_02 26:42

Yeah, I'm not sure. I know there's I think soap and water is probably.

SPEAKER_01 26:45

So you're like like a scrub maid scrubbing your dildos like with a with a bucket and a scrub brush. I'm doing these motions. It looks horrible.

SPEAKER_02 26:54

It looks like Ross is cleaning a dildo.

SPEAKER_01 26:57

Picture it. Don't want to picture it. But that is what I was doing. Yes. Um, and when when we take this podcast a video, then there will be no more mystery. No, you'll all know. By the way, I like a lot of a little mystery in my food, but I want the lights on during sex. Anyway, um, but I don't want to see anybody preparing my food. It's gross. Oh.

SPEAKER_02 27:19

It is gross. You don't want to see how the sausage is made.

SPEAKER_01 27:21

I don't want to see any all the hands and all the like arranging of the food with hands and people breathing on it.

SPEAKER_02 27:27

Touching your junk.

SPEAKER_01 27:28

Yeah, touching my junk. Yeah. But in sex time, it's like, let's put a spotlight in here. Touching my junk. Let's get some floodlights and some vinegar spray. I was making a point here. Oh, my point was before you spend uh 70 grand or whatever, you know, putting a spanking bench in your place. Uh just why don't you get a few like interesting sex toys? You know, and try that out and see is this fun and where do we go?

SPEAKER_02 27:56

Try it in your wherever you normally have sex.

SPEAKER_01 27:58

Yeah, go to your normal little place, whatever it is. You know? Yep. A linen closet, whatever is your shame corner. Shame corner. Wow. I've never heard of shame corner. I don't know. Did you just make that up? Shame corner.

SPEAKER_02 28:14

Yes. Wherever you do your nasty business.

SPEAKER_01 28:17

Wow. There should be no shame.

SPEAKER_02 28:20

No, no shame.

SPEAKER_01 28:21

That would no, but I do like that's kind of fun that there would be something called a shame corner.

SPEAKER_02 28:25

I'm sure that's a kink.

SPEAKER_01 28:27

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 28:27

Right?

SPEAKER_01 28:28

I believe anything.

SPEAKER_02 28:29

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 28:30

I believe anything and everything when it comes to human beings. Um, but this this couple that you know is in this article I read about the show, they they had made improvements to their basement. Or their what I don't know if they called it a rumpus room.

SPEAKER_02 28:42

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 28:43

They did work on the deck and they fixed up the backyard, and that was good for the kids, but they hadn't done anything for themselves. So what did they do? They gutted their bedroom using this Mary Poppins of sex rooms. They gutted the bedroom and the bathroom, so this the master area, they just totally ripped out everything. They changed the layout, so among other things, hubby can lay in bed and watch his wife in the bathroom.

SPEAKER_02 29:12

Oh no.

SPEAKER_01 29:15

People like different things.

SPEAKER_02 29:17

Everyone's into something. There is literally a fetish for everything.

SPEAKER_01 29:21

But they also put in a stripper pole in the bedroom. So they also have that.

SPEAKER_02 29:25

Okay. That's fun.

SPEAKER_01 29:27

Would you do this? Would you make a sex room in your house?

SPEAKER_02 29:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:31

Are you gonna do it?

SPEAKER_02 29:32

Maybe. It sounds like a fun, good time. It's a good thing. And also a stripper pole is a really good workout. Now I did one of those, like for a bachelorette party, I did one of those like pole dancing classes.

SPEAKER_01 29:44

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 29:45

And man, my shoulders were on fire after that.

SPEAKER_01 29:48

Yeah, that ain't easy stuff.

SPEAKER_02 29:49

It ain't easy to do that. It's not for amateurs.

SPEAKER_01 29:52

See, what I'd rather do is go to a like like go to a like a hotel that has sex rooms. So you can do it. Go somewhere sexy. And they have a different sex room that like we have level A, level B, level C, level D, and level you will not live through the night. Yeah. Or whatever. And then you sign up and you go and you have a cool experience, and there's all the stuff, and you feel everything on the wall, and then when you're done with your crazy time, you get out of there.

SPEAKER_02 30:17

I see, I guess uh if you're in like a good, healthy relationship and you have a good, healthy sex life, then like for example, in my apartment, I don't have like a TV or anything in my bedroom because I feel like the bedroom is for sleeping and for other stuff.

SPEAKER_03 30:33

Right.

SPEAKER_02 30:34

And not, you know, I've got drawers full of things, so maybe it would be nice to have like a an organized sex room with like your little dildo wall and your Everybody needs a grill. Everything's organized and you know what you're there for when you're in there.

SPEAKER_01 30:49

Yeah, there's no like, hey, whoa, what are you?

SPEAKER_02 30:52

Are you going to sleep or are we? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:54

When you're that's true. It's a really good point. If you're both in the sex room and you're not eating grilled cheese sandwiches, it's really hard for someone to say, whoa, whoa, what's this about? And ease up. Right. Like I just wanted to have a relaxing evening for once. Can't we just both read?

SPEAKER_02 31:09

We're in the sex room. Yes, we're eating grilled cheese sandwiches and banging.

SPEAKER_01 31:13

Yeah, that's what we're doing.

SPEAKER_02 31:14

That's what we do in the sex room.

SPEAKER_01 31:16

Yeah, I think it's great to have that space. And even if you can't have a full-fledged sex room, to have some kind of space that's conducive to the business. My thing is I just don't like things that are contrived, and I feel like a sex room feels really contrived to me, especially the way they were decorating that.

SPEAKER_02 31:32

Kind of gimmicky away.

SPEAKER_01 31:34

I think that if you're if you were gonna do renovation and uh you want to do one um and you're just committed to doing it and you need the distraction, you might it might as well be a sex room because at least you'll probably have some additional fun sex, even if nothing else gets fixed. Yeah. How you explain it to your kids and relatives, you have people come over, like grandma's coming, a grandma's in town.

SPEAKER_00 31:58

I pulled this book out by D.H. Lawrence, who's and I found a spanking table, and I had a lovely cup of chamomile tea.

SPEAKER_01 32:10

But if you can do it and it brings you some kind of happiness, go for it. Do it. Thanks, Jamie, for talking to me about dildo walls.

SPEAKER_02 32:20

Yeah, thanks for having me.

SPEAKER_01 32:22

Did we talk about puppies in this episode?

SPEAKER_02 32:24

I think that was this one, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:25

I can't remember, but it was fun talking about that. That was actually the most exciting thing for me. And thank you, everyone, for joining us for this episode. If you like what we're doing, we're just talking about human beings and the interesting things we all do, we'd love your help. Please share the show, join us on Instagram, follow us, support us on Patreon, we're independent, and we love that you support the show. And we hope you will tune in to another episode because whether you just spilled coffee all over your spanking bench, or just someone lucky enough to look like Larry Bud Melman, it's important to remember that we all smell like humans. Goodbye, everybody.