Smells Like Humans
Top 5% global podcast! Smells Like Humans is a seasonal podcast dedicated to bringing a humorous perspective to quirky and curious aspects of human behavior. Each show, the SLH crew will focus on a different topic, and share personal stories and observations in a way that sounds like you’re hanging out with your funny friends. The stories and commentary are presented with humor and warmth, since let’s face it: we all smell like humans. (Contact us: contactSLH19581980@gmail.com)
Smells Like Humans
I DREAMED TINA FEY WAS MY GIRLFRIEND...WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
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Jaimee joins Ross to discuss the magic of dreams. Tangents include: Cube pillows; C-Pap machines; shape shifting; THE TING TINGS; Paula Dean; butter; baby orcas; dog dreams; actor's nightmare; "smudging"; palo santo. Ross forgets his "pop filter" so there are a lot of popped p's.
Notes:
- https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/life-refracted/202012/what-are-your-dreams-telling-you
- https://www.healthline.com/health/palo-santo-benefits
- https://www.verywellmind.com/understanding-your-dreams-2795935
- https://www.google.com/search?q=paula+dean&oq=paula+dean&aqs=chrome..69i57j46i10i512j46i512j0i10i512l2j46i10i512j0i10i512l3.1988j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#imgrc=iCYOmyFY-_tdHM
- TING TINGS: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1c2OfAzDTI
Contact us: contactSLH19581980@gmail.com
Shaving cream. Jar of shaving cream. Razor.
SPEAKER_02I had to kick him out for shaving his chest in the hot tub.
SPEAKER_01What I welcome to another episode of Smells Like Humans. This is the podcast where we explore the curious things that people do, the very human things that grab our attention and cause us to wonder what and why. I'm Ross, your host, and today my guest is like a beautiful dream that you never want to wake up from unless it's to the enticing sounds and smells of sizzling bacon. It's Jamie. Hi Ross. Hi, and welcome everyone. Friends, how can you help us? I know you're wondering, you're sitting there wherever you are in the world, and you're going, how can I help these poor podcaster people? And the answer is we're so far beyond that. But if you want to help the show, the best thing you can do is share the show. Share it far, share it wide. We're trying to grow this community. We are completely independent, organic, and gluten-free, and we need your help. You can also pitch in on Patreon. We're on there under Smells Like Humans. We have a few people there, but any kind of money you could give us, I mean, I hate to be bold. We are so far in the red that any amount of financial support you can give us is appreciated. But the most important thing is to share the show. We are not doing this to get rich. And I listen to a lot of podcasts and they're constantly playing commercials and talking about how to monetize your podcast. Money, money, money, money, money. We realize going into this, we ain't gonna make no money doing this. But the reason we do it is because we are sick. No, we do it because we need the love. We like entertaining you. And another way that you can really, if you got no scratch to spare, which is I know most of us, and but you do want to support us, you can share the show. But the other thing you can do is you can reach out to us and just give us some love, some feedback. People do that, they reach out to us on Instagram or send an email saying how much they like the show, and that keeps us going. Okay. Now, there's one more little piece of housekeeping I need to do before we get started. A few uh episodes ago, I talked about a friend of the show who lives in England. We talked about him. I called him the wrong name the whole time I was talking about him. Oh his name is Jonah. He lives in the UK, not Jonas. I kept calling him Jonas, like the Jonas brothers. And he just kind of politely sent a little Instagram message saying, uh wrong name. It's Jonah. And I felt really embarrassed. And it reminded me of that song by the Ting Tings. Remember the Ting Tings? I do remember the Ting Tings. They're still a group.
SPEAKER_04That's not my name.
SPEAKER_00Yes, yes, they call me Hell, they call me Stacy, they call me her, Jonas. They call me Jonas. That's not my name.
SPEAKER_01Um, so uh the tingtings, yeah. So Jonah, thank you, Jonah, for being patient with us. And I asked him, Jonah, how can I make it up to you? And he said, Well, you can either throw yourself off a building or give Jamie a flower.
SPEAKER_02Oh my god.
SPEAKER_01I brought you a nice sunny flower. Thank you. We're having a lot of rain here in Portland because we're in rain season, which is about eight months of the year. Thank you, Jonah, for being a flower. Yes. So now I feel like we are back to even with Jonah. The weird thing is, in my mind, I still want to call him Jonas, and I can't get it out. But it's Jonah. Thank you, Jonah. Okay. We know one thing about humans. At some point, we sleep and we dream. In fact, most people dream one to two hours every night.
SPEAKER_00Wow.
SPEAKER_01And all of us tend to dream about the same kinds of things. I doubt that. We'll find out. So common themes are being chased or attacked, falling, flying, school, school things, death, being late, and of course, sex stuff. Yep. And ever since a guy, a little guy named Sigmund Freud, popularized the notion of the role of the unconscious in our dreams, people love to think about dreams and the symbols and how to interpret those symbols. There's even such things as dream dictionaries. I consulted a few for this episode.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_01They vary widely.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So you read it one dream dictionary and it says this means this, and then you read another one, it tells you something completely different. So it's kind of open. It's open to interpretation. The dream dictionaries, which are interpreting dreams, are also open to interpretation. It's a never-ending rabbit hole. Dream interpretation is a playground for charlatans, hucksters, and mountebanks.
SPEAKER_03What is the last thing you said?
SPEAKER_01It's they're all the same. They're all people who want to put one over on you. Sure. Because they claim to possess sort of a magical power to interpret their dreams. For example, flying, if you look at one source, if you look at one source, flying can mean freedom or liberation, but it also can mean fear and flight, or like running away. So it depends on who you talk to, who you consult. It's wide open. Now, just a little tidbit about science. The latest science thinks that dreams are sort of a random byproduct of a physiological, biological, neurological process, and they don't mean anything. Okay. That's what the scientists think. Yeah. So that's probably true, but we're gonna ignore that because otherwise, come on. Right. Don't take away all our fun, science.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, let us have a good time.
SPEAKER_01Come on, stop taking away our fun. Just stop taking it away. I read today the alcohol is bad for you. Now I know you're thinking of course it's bad for you, but remember the whole thing, a glass of red wine for antioxidants will actually help your heart. Well, you're finding out they're finding out, or they have found out that that is of course nonsense. Love's kill. Science is always putting a chill on our magic and our voodoo, and we just don't like it. And it doesn't really matter what science says because when you have a dream, man, you want to interpret it. Yeah. And it's fun. And your friends say, I had this dream. What do you think it means? You know, and that's a fun activity. So that's what we do, and we're gonna stay right in there. Okay. It's free psychoanalysis. It's fun. Here's some fun dream facts for you. First of all, everybody dreams, even babies.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_01So that baby, that new baby you have, that baby's dreaming, probably of being chased. Uh, 95% of dreams are quickly forgotten. Yes. And they claim I don't know if this is true, but I've read in several different places that the reason for that is is when you wake up, immediately, whether it's an alarm or whether it's something in your day or just being out, you know, being up in the world, smelling that bacon, you it quickly interferes with what you just dreamed. Sure. And you forget it. Yeah. So that's why a lot of people say, either I'm I don't have dreams or I don't remember them. Or they say, Oh, I had this really cool dream, and they start telling it and they realize, oh, I don't really remember. Yeah, I just know this one part where there was a cat wearing a funny hat on a treadmill.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_01But I can't remember how that happened. Some dreams are in black and white.
SPEAKER_04Huh. I don't think I've ever had a black and white dream.
SPEAKER_01I don't know what if my dreams are in color or not. Like I don't sense I sense them as real. Okay. You know, like it's like uh I don't feel like I know whether it's maybe that means they are in black and white. I don't, but I don't sense it. I don't know. I want to uh if they are in black and white, I would like to invest in some colored dreams. Uh it's possible to control your dreams. Some people are really good at this. Lucid dreaming. Yes, lucid dreaming. Very good. I wish I could do that. Well, you know, apparently you can work on that and train yourself to do it. It's not necessarily something that cannot be learned. And I've had some success. I remember when I was a little kid, I would have like a dream where a scary witch would suddenly just out of nowhere, like I'd be walking through kind of a haunted house situation, and then a scary witch or monster would suddenly like be in my face and it would be terrifying. Uh-huh. And then one time I just punched it in the face. I just like, you know what? No.
SPEAKER_04No, I'm over this.
SPEAKER_01I'm tired of this. I've had enough. With your face in my face. I'm punching you. And that's an example of uh exercising a little control in your dream. And when you do that, you're supposed to end up feeling better about things. Dreams help us solve puzzles. A lot of people think that the per the sole purpose of dreaming is to help us deal with our the puzzles of life and things we're wrestling with. And so, you know, processing these issues in our sleep is one way that helps us come to some sort of solution. I mentioned that a lot of us dream the same kinds of things. And finally, the the last fun dream fact that I'm going to share is that animals dream too.
SPEAKER_03Oh, that's fun.
SPEAKER_01So, like when a dog is sleeping and they're running and wagging.
SPEAKER_04My dogs do we call it like blowing bubbles.
SPEAKER_01Whoa.
SPEAKER_04I don't know if your dogs ever do this with it. Blowing bubbles. They do like a they make a like a boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
SPEAKER_05Oh, that.
SPEAKER_04Oh, yeah, yeah. And then they like run the they move their little footsies and like they're running in their sleep. They're clearly they're barking at something, but it's like blowing little bubbles.
SPEAKER_01My dog blew bubbles out of his butt. Well, that too. But but no, he would be like, he'd be like, that would be a screen.
SPEAKER_04You could tell it was an intense dream.
SPEAKER_01Um, they think they're dreaming. I mean, they don't really know, but they they sense that you're dreaming.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Have you had any cool dreams lately? Ross. Yes, I'm here.
SPEAKER_04Uh my dreams. Okay, so all our our avid listeners know that I am medicated.
SPEAKER_01I don't know if everyone knows that.
SPEAKER_04I take an anxiety medication before I go to bed. It like helps me fall asleep. It's supposed to help me stay asleep. I'm a really, a really bad sleeper. Okay. But it gives me just I'm assuming that that's what it is, but my dreams are bonkers off the rails. I wake up and I'm like, how in the world did you come up with that? Oh. Why and how?
SPEAKER_01I love this. You have an example of a bonkers one?
SPEAKER_04Paula Dean was on TV, so I'll have a dream of like Paula Dean and me riding a stick of butter like into the sunset.
SPEAKER_01It's that sounds great.
SPEAKER_04And I wake up and I'm like, what the fuck? Like, why is it like that?
SPEAKER_01Um I have The butter makes sense.
SPEAKER_04Sure. But Paula Dean. Yeah, I don't know. She she's not around as much anymore. I do have um a couple of recurring dreams. I don't know if you experience recurring dreams.
SPEAKER_01I I have in the past. Sometimes I feel like I constantly will have the same dream. So I'm telling me about it.
SPEAKER_04I have one um where I'm on like a huge boat in the middle of the ocean and it's like really big waves. It's like you're like really like riding the waves, and I'm just like looking out a window and like watching these like huge waves. And like I don't get like seasick or anything, but it's like super stormy. That's it. That's nothing happens, nothing cool happens. And then I have one um where I am swimming with orcas. Okay. Like killer whales. Yeah. And it's always like very chill, really calm. And it sometimes it's at night, sometimes it's during the day, but I'm always swimming with uh killer whales just like floating on my back. And then like the the mom killer whale brings her little baby killer whale to me. So I'm like swimming with the little baby killer whale. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Are you holding it? What does that mean?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I'll hold the little baby killer whale while I'm like swimming on my back.
SPEAKER_01Well, I there's a lot of people listening to this right now who want to interpret that dream. And you can what does it mean? You can send it, uh, send your interpretation or put your interpretation on our Instagram page or message us or send us an email with your interpretation. Some people might say that the baby orca represents a stick of butter.
SPEAKER_00I couldn't resist.
SPEAKER_01I don't want. Or Pauladine. Or Paula Dean. I don't know. But yeah, so but so how do you feel when you're swimming with the baby orca?
SPEAKER_04It seems like it would be scary, but it's like it's always like I feel very calm and chill, and it's like exactly where I need to be.
SPEAKER_01Right, right.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, it's like a very tranquil kind of dream.
SPEAKER_01Now, people who would quickly want to go to, well, Jamie, you secretly want a baby. No, but you don't want a baby.
SPEAKER_04Absolutely incorrect.
SPEAKER_01You don't want a baby animals. No, I do not in real life.
SPEAKER_04No, but baby animals.
SPEAKER_01You like baby animals. Adorable. Yes. And what my own sort of dream theory, which I know you're dying to know about.
SPEAKER_04I can't wait.
SPEAKER_01I think the most important thing about dreams is not what happens in the dreams, not the people in the dreams. You know, even if you're dreaming about, you know, somebody in your life that is really important to you and maybe you have conflict with, but really none of the that that is those are just props. The the I think that I think is most important is how you feel in the dream. Do you feel anxious? Do you feel upset? Do you feel tranquil? Do you feel chilled? And those are those are the feelings that are worth investigating, you know, in your life. Like, how is this in my life right now? You know, what represents this in my life, and how do I go about dealing with that? So to me, it's just it doesn't matter what the images are, but again, that's not as fun.
SPEAKER_04No, not nearly as fun.
SPEAKER_01Thinking about a baby orca with a Paula Dean face that's been totally slathered in butter.
SPEAKER_04Yes, a sea of butter. And you're trying to hold on to this very slippery butter orca.
SPEAKER_01And it's really cool.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. I love those dreams where you're falling. Those are like my favorite dreams to have, where you like fall off a cliff or something. Oh. I love that feeling of like falling. I like I've been skydiving. I like I I just like the roller coasters that drop you down from like a really high height. I love that feeling in your stomach. So I really like the dreams where you're like falling.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So a lot of people, those dreams are horrifying. Yes. And they're falling.
SPEAKER_04But you usually die at the end of it, right? You splat on the ground, and then that's what wakes you up.
SPEAKER_01Well, they used to say back in the old days, they'd say, Well, it's okay to have those dreams of falling as long as you wake up before you hit. But if you hit in the dream, you're probably dead.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Which doesn't really make any sense.
SPEAKER_04It just scares you awake, right?
SPEAKER_01Like jolt.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah. That happens to me a lot. I I when I'm having a a dream that is it I don't really have nightmares, like scary dreams, but I have unpleasant dreams. And usually I don't even I mean, I wake up if it starts becoming too unpleasant.
SPEAKER_04I used to have um really bad like sleep paralysis.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_04I haven't had it in a really, really long time, but it used to happen to me a lot, and it was like the most unpleasant feeling. You kind of, you know, wake up and you can't move. Your eyes can move, but nothing else can. It was like really scary.
SPEAKER_01Because you are kind of sort of paralyzed when you're asleep. So you don't, you know.
SPEAKER_04I used to have really bad nightmares. Wow.
SPEAKER_01And did did you do anything to change that?
SPEAKER_04Well, yeah. I mean, I like smudged my place. And I like did the um with with what did you smudge? Uh I used Palo Santo. You light the Palo Santo and you have like the the the egg next to it and uh like a feather and you go through your house and like cleanse all of the rooms to Man, I don't know anything about ghosties.
SPEAKER_01I don't know anything about this.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. I used to have really bad sleep paralysis and I would like see like a uh a shadowy figure standing next to my bed. Oh and I went and saw um a psychic once. Yeah, and she told me I didn't tell her anything about it, but she told me that I had an an entity attached to me.
SPEAKER_01Oh man.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. And I would have these dreams. I don't know if they were dreams. It's hard to tell if they were like real or not. It's like the sleep paralysis, right? So you're like, feel like you're frozen, and I like couldn't move, but I would feel like hands on my body, and I would be trying, really trying to like wake up my partner, but I couldn't move my hands or like say anything. And it was like really like an unpleasant, scary. Yeah, that sounds awful. Yeah. So I like I smudged my whole apartment and I I s you say like a thing. It sounds insane. Um, but you kind of tell the the spirit to that you're not welcome, you're not invited to kick rocks, yeah. Yeah, and so now I sleep with my Paula Santo next to my bed with like a little shell and a feather.
SPEAKER_01I need to know what a Paula Santo is.
SPEAKER_04That sounds very much like similar to sage, it's like a piece of wood that you burn. I think it smells better than sage.
SPEAKER_01Paulo Santo Pauline.
SPEAKER_04Yes, it's a tiny figurine of Paula Deen.
SPEAKER_01You dip it in butter, dip it in butter, you wipe it on your partner, and you go to sleep. Yeah, and whatever happens, happens to them. Yes, not you.
SPEAKER_04Which is so now I just have bonkers' dreams, but I don't have nightmares.
SPEAKER_01Well, that's good, but yes. Yeah. So, yeah, so I just think it's dreams are just way too interesting, and some people have these elaborate, lucid dreams. Like I've talked to people in my life who just have these incredible, complex, just fantastical dreams almost every night. And I only have those once in a while. Oh the really good ones.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01My favorite dreams are the adventure dreams where I'm trying to solve a mystery and I'm looking for clues. I love that kind of stuff. Yeah. Or or I'm some sort of secret agent and I'm hiding out and people are trying to get me, but it's all fun. Right. I like those kinds of dreams. My recurring dream that I tend to have, which is not going to surprise you, is I have the actor's nightmare dream.
SPEAKER_04Naked on stage.
SPEAKER_01What's that?
SPEAKER_04Naked on stage.
SPEAKER_01No, that would be okay. It's like I want that so bad. But no, I don't have it's not naked on stage, although that there's a variation of showing up naked in places that people have, and it is usually unpleasant for them. No, the actor's nightmare is for me, and this is classically what it is, is um you show you you're in a play, and you're about to go on, and you have no idea what the play is or what your lines are. And every single time I'm like, just tell me the play. Like, just give me what are we doing? I'm doing Shakespeare, are we doing Ibsen? Uh what are we doing? Just tell me the play, and you know, is are there lines I can read? And there's usually like a script, but I can't quite, you know, the pages are all over the place. I'm trying to find my part, and I'm about to go on, so it's very stressful. Sure. And that makes sense for me because I'm an actor, so having an actor's nightmare. But a lot of people, and I've had this too, which is the recurring dream they have, is they have to take one more test to get out of school.
SPEAKER_04Yes, I have that.
SPEAKER_01To get out of high school or whatever you went, what kind of school you went to. The last class I took, the professor said, You have to take the midterm. And if you take the midterm and you're happy with your grade, you never have to come back to class, except you do have to turn a paper in at the end. And I'm like, okay. So I passed the midterm barely, and I'm like, I'm out.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01This is my one of my last classes I had to take to graduate. So weeks go by, I still haven't done the paper. Weeks go by, and I keep thinking, gotta get that paper done. Yeah. It's the only thing I gotta do, gotta get that paper done. We come to the week that the paper is due. It's the last week of school, you know, finals week. All I gotta do is do the paper. It's due, let's say, on Wednesday. Monday, I haven't done it. Tuesday, haven't done it. Wednesday, paper's due, haven't done it.
SPEAKER_00Uh-oh.
SPEAKER_01Friday, I throw something together. He I go to his office to give it to him to see if, like, hey, it's a little late, but you know, can you g do me a solid professor, whatever your name is? I haven't seen you in eight weeks because I haven't been coming to class and I've absolutely made no contribution of any kind. He's not there. He might have already left for the summer. I don't know. So what do I do? I slip this masterpiece under his door and Scooby Doo. So, you know, back then, I don't know how it works now, but back then you could go through graduation even if you haven't graduated. They didn't really know. Right. You know, 'cause the next like that week or the couple days later is graduation. I think it was that weekend. So like you go through it, they give you a fake diploma. But I didn't know if I actually passed that class until I got the diploma in the mail a few months later. So there was a while there where I actually didn't know if this this little gambit panned out for me. So as a result of that, or just whatever, I had that dream a lot where, oh wait, I haven't finished. Yeah. I have to do one more thing. I have to take one more class, I have to take one more test, and just to get out. You know, and we're talking decades ago, but still I'm in my mind. You have those?
SPEAKER_04Yes, I have one where I'm uh did you have A days and B days when you were in uh Oh, that sounds familiar.
SPEAKER_01What is that again?
SPEAKER_04So you would have four classes one day and four classes the next day, uh, and they would switch off. So A day, you would have your four classes and B day, you would have your four classes. Yeah, okay. Okay. So I have one where uh I cannot remember if it's A Day or B Day, so which class I'm supposed to go to. And I'm like wandering the halls, like trying to find my classroom, and there's nobody else in the halls. I'm like trying to find the class and I don't remember which one I'm supposed to go to. Right. Um, and while I'm wandering the halls, I'm thinking to myself, like, do I need to pass high school? Like, do I really need to get my my high school diploma? I'm an adult with like a job. But I'm like so stressed trying to find this classroom and figure out if it's like which one on which day, whatever. Yeah, it's really stressful. I'm just wandering the halls basically the whole dream.
SPEAKER_01I usually forget my dreams.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01But sometimes I have a really like disturbing dream and I can't forget it. It almost never happens, but there's one.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_01It's not very complicated.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01But it's kind of disturbing.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_01You want to hear it.
SPEAKER_04You know I do.
SPEAKER_01I don't remember any of the context. I just remember the punchline of the dream. Yeah. I feel like I feel like there's something under my upper lip, and it's kind of like it doesn't feel good. It's like a bump, and I'm like, I don't like this. So I look in the mirror at myself, yeah, and I smile, and underneath there is a huge tarantula.
SPEAKER_00No. And I'm like, what? A tarantula? When did I eat that?
SPEAKER_01How did that get in there? No, it really was disturbing. It's like, oh, what? And I that's years ago. I never forgot it.
SPEAKER_04Okay, so I had one. This was like consecutive back-to-back nights, right? The first night my dream was I was at like prom, I think. It was like a formal dance of some sort. And I was dancing and I looked down and I had like a like a two-foot-long hair growing out of my knee. Like the rest of my leg was shaped, but I had like it was two feet long, and I'm like, I was trying to pull this hair out, and I couldn't get it out. Okay. Yeah. That's night one. Second night, this is why I think that this has to mean something.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_04I my dream was I went to the bathroom in like a public place, and I saw something on my face, and so I leaned forward to look in the mirror. And the more forward I leaned, the longer this hair gets growing out of my cheek.
SPEAKER_00Yikes.
SPEAKER_04It was like a really long hair growing out of my cheek. And so I grabbed it with like both of my hands and I was pulling on it and pulling like the skin was like tented.
SPEAKER_00Oh man.
SPEAKER_04And I pulled it and I and I pulled it out, but like the whole chunk of skin came out with it. And it was like another like two foot long hair. So I feel like there has to be something, some sort of meaning behind um like hair that grows. I don't know. Speedily growing hair. There has to be a meaning.
SPEAKER_01Fast growing hair. Right. Recalcitrant hair.
SPEAKER_04And then I couldn't pull pull them out. Yeah, there's gotta be some sort of thing.
SPEAKER_01So what again, what I would say is how did you feel? What was your it was horrible.
SPEAKER_04So horrible because horrible because I think I think mostly because it was like in a both of the dreams were in like a very public like a park, like a fancy party. Right. Right? And I'm like trying to pull these hairs out and everyone can see the hair, right?
SPEAKER_01Yes. And and you can't get rid of it.
SPEAKER_04And I can't get rid of it.
SPEAKER_01And so for me, I always say from my little simple dream analysis is that that feeling, it's not, it's not necessarily uh because people talk about, oh, you have problems with how you look and all that. I I would just say, no, don't worry about that. But that feeling of having something about yourself that you're not comfortable sharing with people, or you feel people are judging you, or you feel like you can't change about yourself, whatever that is, follow that, journal on that, meditate on that. I did have a great dream recently. Okay, let's hear it. I wrote it down because I didn't want to forget it. It was one of the best dreams I've ever had in my life. It was so great, and it's so it's ripe. Like you can read into it. So I I only wrote, I I don't remember all of it, but I wrote down the stuff that I did remember when I woke up. So I'm out somewhere, like in a park, a public park, and this big dog comes running up. He's a big dog, he doesn't look like my old dog, so it's not a dog. I'm not dreaming about my old dog. It's just this big dog, he's kind of brown, he's just big, but it's not clear what kind of dog it is. Okay, it's not like obviously a breed. And so the dog comes up to me, and we both lay down on this grassy hill to sleep, and we're kind of spooning, you know, like you can do with a dog. And it's a sunny day and it's warm, but it's not too hot, and the hill is very grassy. So, in the process of this moment, I wake up and it's no longer a dog, but it's a beautiful woman. Oh, and we start to kiss.
SPEAKER_04Smooching.
SPEAKER_01So now I'm smooching this former dog, now woman, and this is pretty good. But then it turns back into a dog. I stopped kissing it. No, no, I'm not kissing the dog. I know what you're thinking. Stop right there.
SPEAKER_04Okay. No, I can't stop picturing it.
SPEAKER_01Well, you gotta stop. It turns back into a dog. So I'm like, okay, you're a dog now. Yeah. You little shape shifter, you. So I then I realized, hey, it's getting late. I gotta find the owner of this dog because I gotta go. I can't like continue to sit here and wait for you to shape shift again so I can have some more makeout time. I gotta get you back. So I take the dog and we go on his journey to find its owner. And we do find someone that's connected to the owner. I can't remember if it's like a a relative or someone who works for this person, but they say, Oh, yes, that's our dog. You know, thank you. We'll take it. And um, so I turned the dog back in, and I just feel so happy. It felt so happy when I woke up. It's like, that is the best dream.
SPEAKER_04Like spooning a baby orca.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, kind of. There was no butter.
SPEAKER_04Tranquil.
SPEAKER_01Um, but you know, people would love to read into that. Yeah. Like what would be your armchair analysis of my shape shifting? Smooshing a dog.
SPEAKER_04I'm making a I maybe you need to get another dog.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Well, I really want another dog. Yeah. I know I really want one.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01That's that's one interpretation. Some people would say, dude, you need a girlfriend.
SPEAKER_04Dogs are better.
SPEAKER_01But, you know, paying attention to the emotion of that dream is feeling so warm and happy and content. Yes. Might be actually a reflection of you know what m state I'm in right now. Yeah. Or what state I'm seeking. You know, if I feel like, wow, I don't feel that happy in my everyday life, but that's where I want to go. How do I get there?
SPEAKER_04A dog. That's the answer.
SPEAKER_01A dog. I think you might be right. I I recently quit a job, uh, but while I was thinking about quitting, all I would dream about is all these scenarios where people were wanting me to do work and putting pressure on me, and I kept saying, I don't care.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Like, I don't care. I'm not doing it. Like, but you need to do this now. And I just kept saying no, and I realized, oh yeah, I think I'm done with this job.
SPEAKER_04I'm over it.
SPEAKER_01You're supposed to like have an if you like meditate at night before you go to go to bed and and actually think about and visualize what you want to dream about and things that you want to dream about. Apparently, that can cause or increase the likelihood that you'll have a lucid dream on the topic that you want. Yeah. Which I have never tried, but I want to. I know people who do that. They before they go to sleep, they say, I want to have this kind of dream. I want, you know, I want to deal with this issue. And they are very intentional right before they go to sleep. It's supposed to help. Some people have prophetic dreams.
SPEAKER_03Oh.
SPEAKER_01Where they feel like they're getting a vision of the future. And those, of course, are really cool.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01You know, if you have a dream of something and then some version of that happens, you feel like, wow.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Paul Dean's just gonna pop up in my apartment.
SPEAKER_01You are hooked on her. Have you ever had a conversation with a dead person?
SPEAKER_04Uh no.
SPEAKER_01That's apparently something people have.
SPEAKER_04I I don't really know um You don't know any dead people. I don't really like I don't really know um my extended family at all. I have like my core like main family, and I don't really know anybody else.
SPEAKER_01And so you need to get to know some dead people.
SPEAKER_04I guess, yeah.
SPEAKER_01How how do you go about doing that?
SPEAKER_04I'm I don't know. Ouija board.
SPEAKER_01Ouija board?
SPEAKER_04That's a slippery slope.
SPEAKER_01Sleep in a graveyard. Yeah. When you have an interesting dream or a disturbing dream or a fun dream, you think about it. And a lot of people just cut it off right there, like, well, that was really interesting, fun. I don't know what it means, but it was scary or it was fun or it was beautiful, or it was sexy, or whatever it was, and then you cut it off. But the reality is, I think if you just follow those paths in terms of your feelings, it will sometimes take you to places, you know, like, oh yeah, maybe, maybe this is what's going on for me.
SPEAKER_04You ever have a sexy dream about somebody that you know and then you see them the next day?
SPEAKER_01I had a sexy dream about a dog, okay? Stop bringing it up. Oh, you mean okay, so like in real yeah. So you have a sexy dream about somebody you know.
SPEAKER_04Someone that you know, and I feel like a lot of the times it's someone that you've you're not like n attracted to. They're just a prop. They're not a prop in your life. It's someone that you had seen at some point and then you have like a weird sexy dream about them, and then you s have to see them, and then it's super awkward, and you're like You don't want to tell them. You can't tell them. You can't tell them. Well, you could tell them.
SPEAKER_01Last night I had you and a vat of butter.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01No, you can't tell them, or it feels awkward to tell them unless they're your good friends. I actually has never happened to me, but I really believe the people in your dreams are just props.
SPEAKER_03Sure.
SPEAKER_01Even if you're having a very specific dream that really does relate to that person, I still think it's probably just a prop that your brain is like, I need I need a face.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah. Uh sometimes I feel like sometimes you have a dream uh that you know who the dream is about, but it doesn't look like that person.
SPEAKER_01That's more important, I think. Yes. That's what's more important. But I did have a dream similar to what you're saying, but about a celebrity. And I often this this doesn't usually happen.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01But I had a dream that I was either dating or just beginning to date Tina Faye.
SPEAKER_02Oh, good choice.
SPEAKER_01And I never have thought of her in any way.
SPEAKER_02No.
SPEAKER_01Like as, hey, this is be a great romantic partner, like I have a crush on her. Never. I mean, I like her, but I mean like everybody else likes her, like her work. But anyway, what happened though is so I don't know if this ever happens to you, but I have this dream about her, and I wake up and I'm like, yes, she's my dream person. And for like a whole day, I'm like, yes, why can't she divorce her husband and then randomly get to know me and we could be a great couple? Yeah. She's great. Right. It took me about 24 hours to feel like I don't like her. Like, how would I ever meet her? Well, no, I realize it took me 24 hours to shake the fog of me actually liking her that way in a romantic way, because I didn't beforehand. And eventually it wore off. I'm like, oh yeah, no, I just like her, I just like her comedy.
SPEAKER_04I definitely have had those dreams.
SPEAKER_01So uh I did send her a note. So um there I have some tips if you want to recall a dream. Oh, okay. Okay. So here are some tips for you to keep in mind if you want to do better at recalling a dream. First, you have to establish a healthy sleeping routine. You relax before bed by meditating or listening to calming music.
SPEAKER_03Oh, don't want to don't watch a murder podcast.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah. Don't don't watch scary images. I recently started becoming or trying to train myself to become a side sleeper because I heard that side sleeping is way better for you.
SPEAKER_03Impossible. My shoulders hurt too bad.
SPEAKER_01I know. Well, see, that's where now I'm in search of the perfect side sleeper pillow. So I got this pillow cube. Okay. And the pillow cube is supposed to keep your neck positioned the right way so you don't like wake up with a sore neck. But when I first got it, it stunk.
SPEAKER_04I okay, that's so funny that you say this because, as you know, we talked about yes, my ear pillows. Everybody's still talking about it. My knee pillow. Okay, they're all great. I need all of those things. But also my shoulders hurt, my body hurts any way I sleep, and so I have been on the search for a good ergonomic neck pillow.
SPEAKER_01And there's no end to the various kinds.
SPEAKER_04All of the reviews say something about the smell. And I thought, what? Why? Why do these smell?
SPEAKER_01They're crammed with smells.
SPEAKER_04Why? But what about it is smelly?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I don't know. It's just all of them.
SPEAKER_04The first review was like, great pillow, it smells weird.
SPEAKER_01They're dipped in stank.
SPEAKER_04So now has it aired out?
SPEAKER_01It stopped off gassing. I think that's the chemical term. Yeah. Okay. It it takes a while. Um, but I but I tried it and I just felt like this isn't comfortable. But so I just put it in, you know, I have tried so many pillows over the years, and I you know they're very expensive, you know, they're like not four dollars, they're always expensive, and you get them, and it's like, nope. And real, you know, I really need to like test drive these pillows, but you know, you read about them, it sounds perfect, and then you get it, and it's like, oh man, I've been fooled again.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's why I haven't bought one.
SPEAKER_01But I just because I've been experimenting with side sleeping for like two months now, and man, my sleep is so much better.
SPEAKER_03And what we're doing before, sleeping on your back or your stomach.
SPEAKER_01What I love to do. Okay. What I love to do is sleep on my back. That feels the most natural.
SPEAKER_03Better for you to sleep on your back?
SPEAKER_01It's worse. And especially for me, since I'm a snorer, it makes the snoring worse. Plus, and if you're a snorer, what do they want to do? What do they want to do? They want to put you in a CPAP.
SPEAKER_02Yep.
SPEAKER_01It's like, that's never happening. You're never gonna see me with a CP.
SPEAKER_04I don't care if I got my my ear pillow, my weighted blanket, my knee pillow, and my CPAP.
SPEAKER_01Not doing a CPAP. I'm not doing it. You I if I fall, if I die in my sleep, I'm happy that what a way to go. I just like I'd rather have that.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, definitely.
SPEAKER_01I'll I'll wake up dead before I wear a CPAP machine. And you see people at the airport putting these nasty things through the x-rays like, dude, you can't go on holiday without bringing this germ bag with you. Yep. Because you know they can't clean them. You can never clean them.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's true.
SPEAKER_01No, it's it's like one of those legionnaires jacuzzies. They're just loaded with germs. People always like, you want to go into the jacuzzi? And it's like, no, man, that thing is filled with disgusting bacteria because you can't clean them. You can, yeah, you can load it up with chlorine, but there's tubes and junk that they can't get to.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, and people do weird stuff in the hot tub.
SPEAKER_01Oh man, they're doing weird stuff in there.
SPEAKER_04I worked at a gym for a long time. We had a hot tub.
SPEAKER_01Oh, people are going into the gym hot tub and doing stuff.
SPEAKER_04This guy was legitimately shaving his chest in the hot tub. Shaving cream, jar of shaving cream, razor.
SPEAKER_02I had to kick him out for shaving his chest in the hot tub.
SPEAKER_01What I people are so fascinating. That's why there's never an end to the topics we do on the show. We've done so many topics, and it's just peep shaving. It's like, I don't even know how you think that that would be okay. I do not know. Like, what like I want the backstory on this person. Like, how did you get to the point where you're like, well, I want to shave my chest hair, and I guess the place to do that would be in a jacuzzi at the gym.
SPEAKER_00That's where it should be.
SPEAKER_01Because that's just I want to know how you get there. Because all of us get to weird spaces. I mean, I'm making out with dogs. So we all get there, but how do we get there? Right. Okay, so dream recalling tips. You have a healthy sleep routine, you get your pillow cube, you wait for the stank to melt. Smells so bad. It was like, where is this bin in outer space in a donkey's butt? It sounds horrible. Who's putting donkeys in space? Not enough people, that's what I say. Because those donkeys, they like to ride. Remember, share the show with people you think would like it, which is probably a very specific genre. So relax before bed, meditate, listen to calming music. Wake up naturally with the sun instead of a loud alarm clock. Well, that's great unless you have to be someplace. Right. And here's the problem with my alarm clock. So my alarm, you're still thinking about that donkey. Exactly. So my alarm is I you know how you can select on your phone the different ways? And I picked a very gentle one.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_01It's just very gentle. And the problem is the other day I was supposed to wake up at a certain time and it was so gentle I just kept sleeping through it. Right. But I don't like being startled awake with an obnoxious. But anyway, they say if you wake up naturally with the sun, and again, a lot of us have to wake up and when it's still dark, and we got especially in Portland where it's dark all dark twenty hours a day in the winter. We have a season of dark, a season of rain, and then we have a smoke season. Never see the sun.
SPEAKER_00We're the mole people.
SPEAKER_01So anyway, wake up naturally if you can. Wait a few seconds to open your eyes. This is all helping you remember your dreams. Wait a few seconds.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Keep a dream journal on your nightstand and write about the dream immediately. That's what I did with my shape-shifting dog dream. Yeah. I wrote it down because I knew I was going to forget it.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Because I always I don't remember my dreams. Okay. Except unless it was the spider.
SPEAKER_03Sure.
SPEAKER_01Then you allow yourself time to reflect on the dream. Okay. There's a lot of things you got to do to remember your dream. So many steps. And if you're not dreaming, if you feel like because I said everybody dreams, even babies and animals. And if you're not dreaming, you might want to check on your sleep behavior.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, maybe you need a CPAP. And a pillow cube. Give me that stanky pillow cube. Let me put on my CPAP machine. And let me get some dreaming in.
SPEAKER_01You can't dream.
SPEAKER_04Maybe you couldn't smell your pillow cube if you had a CPAP on.
SPEAKER_01You can't do Jack with a CPAP. And speaking of like making out with anything, that ain't happening. No. If my partner's got a CPAP machine on, you might as well sleep in a different zip code.
unknownI don't.
SPEAKER_01Hey, I'm feeling a little amorous. Can you move that CPAP to one side? Oh, it's just not happening. I'd rather shave my chest in a jacuzzi. Well, thank you, Jamie, for exploring the wonderful world of dreams.
SPEAKER_04I do have uh just a serious question for our listeners. If anybody has any advice for me.
SPEAKER_01Okay, let's hear it.
SPEAKER_04Okay. So over COVID, I did the um Invisalign, right?
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. So you wear like the little mouth guard, right? Right. And now currently I'm supposed to still wear it at night.
SPEAKER_05Yes.
SPEAKER_04But anytime I wear it, if I have it in my mouth at night, I have a dream that I'm that I'm at a fancy party and I have a bunch of gum in my mouth. And I'm like trying to pull all these big wads of gum in out of my mouth while I'm like trying to talk to people. And I it doesn't I it keeps me awake. I keep waking up until I take the the guard out.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_04So I don't know if anybody else experiences this or has any solution for me because I'm supposed to wear it, otherwise my teeth will just go back to it. Yeah, they'll spring over and fly out of your mouth.
SPEAKER_00You'll you'll you'll be back to that loser. Just a gap to loser, but my dreams are bitching.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, so I can't wear it at night because I have that dream and it keeps me awake, and I just need advice.
SPEAKER_01Some Visaline mouth guard people. Because some people wear mouth guards because they uh I grind my teeth at night too, so I'm supposed to wear it. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04So I need advice.
SPEAKER_01Jamie needs your advice.
SPEAKER_04Otherwise, I'm gonna have nubs for teeth from grind too.
SPEAKER_01Jonah, if you're out there, it's your advice. It is Jonah, right? Not Jonas. I keep having to check. Jonah. Um yes. Well, thank you again, and thanks everyone. Please help us grow this little show. We'd appreciate it. And we appreciate you showing up and listening to whatever it is that we're doing. And we hope you will tune in to another episode because whether you are dreaming of a buttered up Pauline or just shaving that one really long hair in a public jacuzzi, it's important to remember that we all smell like humans. Goodbye, everybody. And we're out.