Smells Like Humans
Top 5% global podcast! Smells Like Humans is a seasonal podcast dedicated to bringing a humorous perspective to quirky and curious aspects of human behavior. Each show, the SLH crew will focus on a different topic, and share personal stories and observations in a way that sounds like you’re hanging out with your funny friends. The stories and commentary are presented with humor and warmth, since let’s face it: we all smell like humans. (Contact us: contactSLH19581980@gmail.com)
Smells Like Humans
I DON'T HAVE A THING TO WEAR!
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Jaimee joins Ross for the most tangent-heavy podcast of all time, ostensibly about fashion. Tangents include: Jaimie's secret love affair; Sinbad; Sylvester Stallone; Applebee's; Soylent Green; Charlton Heston; Donny Osmond; The Mandela Effect; Flash Gordon; airport clothes; flammable sweat suits; Whitney Houston.
Notes:
- https://www.mrporter.com/en-us/journal/fashion/ask-mr-porter-how-to-wear-baseball-caps-5093764
- https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/entertainment/g28438966/mandela-effect-examples/
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sinbad_(comedian)
- https://www.nytimes.com/2023/05/14/style/spring-fashion-street-style.html?searchResultPosition=2
- https://www.google.com/search?sxsrf=AB5stBgjHw9mKjXFJFRWxOmk_QIeGgt4Zw:1688519531268&q=soylent+green+images&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwif4u22sfb_AhVlGTQIHWO4AEQQ0pQJegQIDBAB&biw=1382&bih=801&dpr=2.5#imgrc=onUWIC3grR81qM
Contact us: contactSLH19581980@gmail.com
It happened. So there were backwards bands, okay. You would take my word for it.
SPEAKER_02There were backwards bands. I think you had like a fever dream.
SPEAKER_00Well, that goes without saying. Welcome to another episode of Smells Like Humans. This is the podcast where we explore the curious things that people do, the very human things that grab our attention and cause us to wonder what and why. I'm Ross, your host, and today, my guest is a good friend, a confidant, and someone who I would be proud to call my fairy godmother. It's Jamie.
SPEAKER_05Hi Ross.
SPEAKER_00Hi, welcome, and welcome everyone. Thanks for being here. We are delighted that you are here today listening to the show. By the way, please reach out. You can do that on Instagram. You can send us a lovely, well-constructed email. And here's the thing that we really appreciate a lot is to get a five-star sparkling review on Apple Podcasts. Super easy to do. And if you write us a five-star sparkling review, we will most likely read it on the air. Are we on the air? Not technically. But we will read it on a show. And we've got one that we want to read. And Jamie, I'm going to ask you to do the honors of reading our latest sparkling review.
SPEAKER_03I have really grown to love this podcast and always look forward to the next episode. Ross's humor makes me actually laugh out loud, but he and his guests always bring up thought-provoking points on odd topics I wouldn't normally think about. This is worth a listen.
SPEAKER_00Well, that's very nice. Okay. So who's that from?
SPEAKER_03It's from Cath Nurse31.
SPEAKER_00Kath Nurse31, thank you so much for writing that. We appreciate that you like the show. It does sound a little like Kath Nurse31 is in a cult, though. Yeah. Because they say it's like, well, I've grown to like it. Started out, not being sure.
SPEAKER_03That's how we get you.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I guess. It does sound a little cultish, cult adjacent, but we don't care. We're happy to have you. And if we're a cult.
SPEAKER_03Join our cult.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, why not? Okay, so let's get started. We know that fashion trends go in and out. There's almost a hundred percent chance that whatever you are wearing today will look not so good in 10 or 20 years or even 10 minutes. It's particularly difficult for some people to figure out clothes, and I admit to being one of those people. And I will tell you that when I was a freshman in college, I was voted worst dressed.
SPEAKER_04No.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, because I wore a red sweatsuit. Red sweatsuit every single day.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Different underwear, different t-shirt underneath, everything else. And it was one of those polyester ones, the kind that you don't want to be in when there's a fire.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. I would never have guessed. I do think you're a pretty good dresser.
SPEAKER_00Well, thank you. That is very, very kind. And anybody who knew me back in college is knows that you're lying. So when I look back, and I think a lot of us have had this experience, maybe you have. You look back at pictures taken of you several years in the past. And I look back, and every stage I look at, I go, What?
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Why am I doing that?
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Why do I look so bad? Why has that happened to you?
SPEAKER_03Oh my god. I grew up I was was in high school in the early 2000s. And I don't know if you remember the fashions of the early 2000s, but this was like when people wore like jeans underneath like a skirt. Oh yeah. And then like a like a t-shirt underneath like a spaghetti strap top. Right. And it was when like uh those like pop punk emo bands were really popular. So we all had this like crazy like fashion hair where it was like bangs with like bleach blonde hair, but it had like a slice of a different color in it. Oh, that's right. And like different underneath. Oh, it was yeah. Look up the like good Charlotte or like Fallout Boy from the early 2000s. Right, I can actually have to wear jeans and a mini skirt.
SPEAKER_00Yes, I do remember the jeans and mini skirt look.
SPEAKER_03Super low rise jeans.
SPEAKER_00Yes, we've talked about those.
SPEAKER_03The early 2000s were rough.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so it's really interesting in how we keep falling into these fashion traps. I feel like they're traps. And we're gonna talk about this. I love observing people's clothing at the airport.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And the reason why is because those outfits have been selected with intention.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Because not everybody, but almost everybody who flies goes through this process the night before, which is what am I gonna wear on the plane?
SPEAKER_04Yes.
SPEAKER_00How do I want to look when I get off my flight and I am greeted by whoever is gonna pick me up?
SPEAKER_03But you also want to be comfortable on the flight. So it's comfortable, but you can't. You know what's funny is I saw you at the airport not very long ago. We ran into each other at the airport just randomly. Right. Um, and we said hi briefly and walked away. But my partner and I were going to our flight, and we just kept looking at each other and being like, this is the craziest people watching experience at the airport today that I'd ever seen because the fashions were just like wild. I'm trying to remember what time of day it was morning. Early, not that early, but not early, like mid-morning.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, mid-morning.
SPEAKER_03But yeah, we were commenting to each other on the the airport fashions. There was some winners.
SPEAKER_00You know, I did see you in the airport.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And I saw you there immediately. You didn't see me at first, and I came up and said, hello, because neither one of us really knew we were traveling, I think, that day. So it was kind of fun to see you. And you were standing there with a guy, and I knew it was probably your partner, uh-huh. But in the moment as I came up, you didn't introduce me. So my brain being such a mischievous human, I'm like, this may not be the guy.
SPEAKER_03She's having a lurid affair.
SPEAKER_00This could be the backup guy. This could I don't even know what's going on. But she's not introducing me, so I'm not going to blow her cover because I don't know what he knows about the other guy.
SPEAKER_03And so it was so funny because we walked away and uh Jordan was like, Who is that? And I was like, Oh my god, have you never met Ross before? Like, I just thought in my head, like, surely they must have met at some point. Like, I don't need to introduce him because I'm sure they already know each other.
SPEAKER_00I think I remember years ago you dragged him to a club to watch a comedy thing that I was doing, but I don't think we actually met. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. So he was like, oh, that's Ross. Like, I didn't know what he looked like. And I was like, I felt so bad. I was like, Ross probably thinks that um he's like my secret shame. I like didn't introduce it.
SPEAKER_00I just didn't whatever was going on in your head, I didn't want to blow it for you because I've got your back.
SPEAKER_03Yes, thank you. I do appreciate that. I've got your cheating back. That's a good friend right there.
SPEAKER_00Most people wouldn't be thinking that deviously, but that's what I do.
SPEAKER_03I like that you played along.
SPEAKER_00I love it. I love it because, as I said, you know, somebody they they spend time thinking about what am I gonna wear? It's not an accident. Uh-huh. It's not like you're catching them just rolling out of bed.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_00But some people actually choose to look like that, including wearing their pajamas and carrying, and I kid you not, real bed pillows.
SPEAKER_04Yes.
SPEAKER_00Not the little neck pillow, which is a whole nother thing.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_00But the bed pillow, carrying that, wearing pajamas and like fuzzy slippers for their flight. So A, they're gonna be comfortable.
SPEAKER_03So comfortable.
SPEAKER_00You gotta give them credit for that.
SPEAKER_03On the other hand I feel like maybe if it's like a super long flight that a PJ you know, a PJ situation could work out.
SPEAKER_00Really?
SPEAKER_03Yeah. I mean, like I flew to Australia and it was like I want to say it was like 16 hours total, really long. And I tried to sleep on the flight, but I'm like I'm just a bad sleeper generally, so I couldn't sleep. But I get I kind of get wearing pajamas for that.
SPEAKER_00What if what if I could see in a long flight like that changing into something very comfortable? But what I'm saying is you're showing up at the airport and your go look is PJs and bed pillow. I don't know. For me, it feels a little toddler.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, true.
SPEAKER_00It just feels a little toddler to me.
SPEAKER_03When I go to the airport, if I mean no matter what the flat, I always want to be comfortable. I usually go with like an ath leisure, kind of like what I'm wearing today. Like a kind of workout adjacent, they're very comfortable clothes, but they still look like maybe you tried.
SPEAKER_00Yes. I would say you always look like there's been some thought and effort put into your look. And so, yes, a lot of people like that look. And I think I agree that that works in our modern and very casual world now. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I think most of us have out-of-the-house sweatpants and inside the house sweatpants now after the pandemic, right? Right. Out-of-the-house sweats sweats. Yes.
SPEAKER_00Yes, I actually have that. Yeah. I I and I really, if I could just wear what I want to wear all the time, I would just wear my little super soft joggers. Yes.
SPEAKER_04No hard pants.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, no hard pants. We talked about that. So we have the PJs and bedpillows, but then we'll see like people. I've seen people with bedazzled jeans super tight with uh like stiletto heels or whatever they're called. Yeah. And um like thinking, wow, you're not gonna be able to run from a burning airplane like that.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I mean, maybe I'm wrong.
SPEAKER_03He was wearing like fishnet tights with blue tights underneath, and then like cut-off denim shorts and stilettos. And I thought, well, that's a fabulous outfit, but that does not seem comfortable for a plane ride.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. I think the first thing to keep in mind when you're flying on a plane is you need to be able to run away from the crash scene.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_00So, what can you run away in? Yeah. Your shoes need to reflect that. Right. You notice how the flight attendants always change into running style shoes or flat shoes. They don't have heels or anything. This is a tangent. I saw a commercial for Applebee's.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_00And I need you to explain it to me. So the commercial is showing close-up pictures of steak, chicken nuggets, and burgers.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_00That's the whole commercial, just showing the food, which makes sense for an Applebee's. And they're trying to make it look as good as they can.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Just like people dressing up for a flight. They are doing the best. But while they're showing me these sumptuous meat picks, they're playing Whitney Houston's I Wanna Dance with Somebody in the background. And I don't I was like, how this doesn't work what I don't get it.
SPEAKER_03Were they going for like a Pride Month uh Applebee's situation?
SPEAKER_00I don't know. So I went and looked at the lyrics. Clock strikes upon the hour and the sun begins to fade. Still enough time to figure out how to chase my blues away. So it's a sad song. Okay. This person's sad. I've done all right up to now. It's the light of day that shows me how. And when the night falls, loneliness calls. This is a suicide level.
SPEAKER_03That's not the upbeat dance number you're thinking of.
SPEAKER_00I want to dance with somebody. I want to feel the heat with somebody. Yeah, I want to dance with somebody, with somebody who loves me. And then that repeats.
SPEAKER_04Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_00So it's a loneliness song. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03So how so just a bunch of sad, lonely people eating a big old steak at Applebee's.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. I think because it's so upbeat sounding, I always thought it was a happy song. And a lot of those happy, kind of dancy songs, I don't really ever listen to the lyrics, which is a mistake often.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I didn't understand that. Do you understand that? How do burgers and steaks uh what is the I Wanna Dance?
SPEAKER_03I I don't know about the connection. Okay. I will say, we went to Applebee's recently for I think it was for my sister's birthday. I can't remember. My brother wanted to go kind of like as a jokey thing, like middle class fancy sort of a deal. We all dressed up as in like 90s attire and went to Applebee's.
SPEAKER_00I like it.
SPEAKER_03And we thought, you know, it's not gonna be good, but it it can't be like the worst meal you've ever had in your life. And boy was I wrong. Oh no We all left and we were like, we can all agree that like that was the worst thing we've ever eaten. I didn't remember Applebee's being that bad.
SPEAKER_00Were you uh but were they playing Whitney Houston in the background?
SPEAKER_03Good question.
SPEAKER_00Okay, so uh picking clothes. I think I can speak for the hetero man group, because that's the group I find myself in usually. And I see a lot of man mistakes. Okay. Now I I'm gonna pr I'm gonna preface this by saying there's two percent of the men in the heteroman group who do a great job dressing. Okay. So if you're out there and you think you're doing great, just assume that you're in that two percent who do it right. Yeah. The other ninety-eight percent, uh they need some help.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So the two percent look great, but what I'm talking about is the 98% of us, and I include myself in that, who are struggling. If you're over 30 years old, enough with the short pants.
SPEAKER_01No more shorts?
SPEAKER_00Gotta stop it.
SPEAKER_01Oh.
SPEAKER_00Now I'm gonna disagree with you. Beach, a hike, swimming, of course. You can wear shorts.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I I think you can wear shorts, but not like the big old baggy, like you had got a belt cinched in, and then they're like two bells hanging off your legs. Yeah, those aren't good. Scalared, like nice shorts.
SPEAKER_00I just think that it's almost impossible for a guy over 30 to pull this off. I just think it looks bad.
SPEAKER_05Okay.
SPEAKER_00And I've thought this for a long time. I've observed this, and I've observed myself in my 30s wearing shorts. I would look back at the pictures, I'm like, this is such a big bowl of wrong. This is a double scoop of wrong. Okay. No, it's bad. I saw a guy yesterday. I think these are the shorts, they're I call them the short long pants.
SPEAKER_04Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_00They're like, I don't know what they're called, dungarees, capri pants.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, they're like cargo shorts.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, those, but then there's some that just are not quite long enough. Shorts for sure are over 30. I get a lot of pushback on.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I disagree with you on this one.
SPEAKER_00I'm I don't I don't think I've ever found anyone who agrees with me, but someone has got to stand up.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Someone's got to stand up and be counted and say, guys, if you're over 30, if you're in that 98%, it's a bad look. And I'll tell you what makes it really bad. Because they they there's a lot of guys who will double down and wear the shorts, and then they'll wear a uh no socks with leather loafers. Have you seen this look?
SPEAKER_03I have.
SPEAKER_00What is that? What is that supposed to say? What's going on there?
SPEAKER_03Well, Ross, fashion. That's called fashion.
SPEAKER_00That's like close your eyes. I'm gonna blindfold you. You grab things out of your closet and put them on.
SPEAKER_03I think if it's put together correctly, it's a good idea.
SPEAKER_00If you're wearing short pants, you're over 30.
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_00You're wearing short pants and you got no socks and you're wearing leather loafers, you are in you're in a huge bunch of trouble.
SPEAKER_03Don't listen to him, Planet Earth.
SPEAKER_00And then I've seen guys with that look, and then they pile on by putting on a sport coat. Uh-huh. What are we saying? What is the message? I'm I'm a fancy man, but I'm wearing shorts because I want to be comfortable and it's warm weather. No? It dep well you you like that look.
SPEAKER_03I mean, sport coat with shorts. I don't know if you're meaning short pants like like trousers that are have a shorter cut, or if you mean like short shorts.
SPEAKER_00Well, not like 80s short shorts.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Like knee length.
SPEAKER_00There's no ball situation you have to worry about. But yeah, like they're cut, they're they're nice shorts, usually. Like they're nice. They probably paid some amount of money.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00That's you know, not inexpensive.
SPEAKER_03I will give it to you in the way that if you're wearing if it's hot enough to wear short pants, maybe you don't need a jacket.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, but see, they're trying to like dress up the look. I see this going back to airports, I see this look at the airport a lot. Uh there was a time, uh this that time has passed, but there was a time when men all of a sudden were wearing pink shirts. And of like I said, a few guys can pull it off very nicely.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Most of them no, don't do it. And I saw all these pink shirts all of a sudden everywhere. Everybody had pink.
SPEAKER_03I love a pink shirt on a man.
SPEAKER_00Okay. I well, I think this is part of it.
SPEAKER_03Opposite sides of the coin here.
SPEAKER_00No, well, that's good. I think it's part of it though. There are pe there are obviously my theory is there are people telling these men that they look okay. Because I my thesis is that the typical hetero male has no freaking idea what they're doing. And they need somebody like Jamie here saying, Oh no, that pink shirt looks great on you. Roger.
SPEAKER_03There's no gender on clothing. A man can wear a pink shirt if he wants to wear a pink shirt.
SPEAKER_00I agree. And this is not a gendered judgment. It's not because it's a pink, it's like, no, that color looks bad on a lot of guys. It's not because it's stereotypically not a guy color. Forget that noise. What I'm talking about is that's a rough color to pull off.
SPEAKER_03I feel like there's so many different shades of pink.
SPEAKER_00This is the ugly shade that was popular, like you know, uh maybe late 90s or whatever it was. Okay, here's another one that you're more familiar with. This is more your uh era.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_00Guys wearing the backward hats.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_00When they're going out to for a nice evening, not just yeah, sitting around the house. But I'm talking about let's get dressed up and go out to Applebee's or wherever. And then the let's but let's wear a hat.
SPEAKER_03I think it's one thing if you're out on like a fishing boat or you're the wakeboarding or something. But yeah, going out on the town, I have to agree.
SPEAKER_00But that's uh that's like a part of the uniform that you see guys of a certain age, typically hetero.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I've seen it many times, guys dr going out together in a pack, like three, four, five guys, they're all got the backward hats. They're all wearing shorts, same kinds of shirts.
SPEAKER_03I don't know if I hope this isn't on your list and I'm just adding on to it, but I feel like the backwards hat guys are also the guys that wear the like when they're storing your sunglasses, they put them on the back of there. I feel like they go hand in hand.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so what's that about?
SPEAKER_03I don't know, but I hate it.
SPEAKER_00I I have empathy for them because you see like three or four guys and they're like between 25 to 30 or 23 to 27, somewhere in that I'm not a teenager anymore, but I'm also not a full, full-blown adult yet. I'm still hanging on to the rowdy coolness of my youth.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_00But they all look the same. So it's like, wow. So either they coordinated outfits, and that makes me a little sad. It's like just be yourself. Like wear what you want to wear. You don't have to worry about your friends are wearing, or this is their everyday look.
SPEAKER_03Either way, I have empathy for them because I feel like once you've worn it for so long, it's hard to change that. People are like, why aren't you wearing your backwards hat?
SPEAKER_00This was the this look was um, of course, baseball catchers throughout time wore the backwards baseball hat. Apparently, it became a cultural phenomenon following Sylvester Stallone's 1987 arm wrestling movie Over the Top.
SPEAKER_03Over the top.
SPEAKER_00Did you see this movie?
SPEAKER_03Hell yeah, I saw that movie.
SPEAKER_00I had no idea there was a movie called Over the Top with Stallone.
SPEAKER_03Great movie.
SPEAKER_00Great movie.
SPEAKER_03I had a nineties themed birth Well, I actually take that back. I had an eighty the year eighty seven themed birthday party one year on out on the Portland Spirit. It was on a boat. Nice. And I made everyone dress as something from the year nineteen eighty seven. And Over the Top came out in nineteen eighty seven, which is the year I was born. Right.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_03Right. Yeah. So somebody came to my birthday party dressed as Sylvester Stallone from over the top.
SPEAKER_00Wow. Uh also Ken Griffey, popularized in the nineties, the backwards hat. He's a baseball player. Will Smith and the Fresh Prince. Yeah. Backwards hat. Uh Tupac, backwards hat, Jay-Z, Limp Biscuits, Fred Durst. Backwards hat. So that's kind of like the style, but that was a while ago. Yeah. That was 90s, right?
SPEAKER_04Mostly.
SPEAKER_00Why am I talking about this? Because I've always been sort of um challenged myself sartorially, but I also see other people in my basic group, the heteromale, struggling. And the latest thing I saw when I was looking at uh reading something, uh, an article about fashion is a new look that's been popularized is short, what we used to call hard shoes, which are leather shoes, black with white socks.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_00And I'm looking at that going, This is the height of fashion right now.
SPEAKER_04Oh.
SPEAKER_00And I've actually saw people in real life dress like this, and I thought it was a mistake.
SPEAKER_03I don't know if I've noticed that in my head when I picture it, it doesn't look good.
SPEAKER_00It's hard to pull off. Sure. I meant to bring you a picture of it, um, but the picture is there's a guy who's trying to do his best to look good for this fashion shoot. And he's got the coat and the pant the shorts, uh huh, white socks, shoes, he's got styling sunglasses, but it's a little and he's a model, and it's right on the edge of like no. And then and he can pull it off, but then you start looking at the normal guy. See, that's what happens with these fashions. Is like it looks good if everything is perfect, right? If not every and usually one thing is a skew. And usually with real people, something's always a skew. Yeah. And then it somehow doesn't work like it works on the model. I was so surprised. I I was somewhere and I saw two younger guys dressed like this together, and they're both doing it.
SPEAKER_04Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_00And I'm like, I had to say something to somebody I was with, like, whoa, what? Like I did a double take. Like, is that what's that? And they go, Oh, that's the latest style now. And what was interesting about that is that's exactly how I looked when I was a kid and was shamed for it. Right. And I couldn't believe it. It's like, wow, I had to wait a long time.
SPEAKER_02You were ahead of your time.
SPEAKER_00I was so ahead of my time. I was so ahead of my time. There are great pictures of me as a kid with white socks and black shoes. And the pants also back then they were kind of high watery.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_00When I was a kid, uh, for some reason. I guess to just maximize the humiliation. And you're okay with that.
SPEAKER_03I uh you know what? I feel like fashion should be fun, and if you feel good in what you're wearing, you should wear it.
SPEAKER_00And that's that is an important message. We're gonna end, we're gonna re we're gonna reiterate that. Okay. We're gonna reiterate that at the end. You feel good in it, you should wear what you want. It's PJs and bed pillows, yeah, white socks and black shoes.
SPEAKER_03Yes.
SPEAKER_00Go for it.
SPEAKER_03I also love what's happening in fashion right now where it's just this like very uh non-gender specific kind of uh anybody can wear any type of clothing, you know. Like a lot of even straight male celebrities wearing like dresses or wearing blouses, and like, oh, I just love it. I love to see it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and I like that too. I like anything that breaks the convention.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And in fact, this is kind of what I'm talking about. Is I this is what I think happens. This is what I've observed over the years happening with clothes that are presented to me as in style. And that is so most of us don't know what we should wear. Sure. We don't know. So the fashion industry says, You should wear this. Yeah, you should wear these clothes, this is how to look good. So we're being told that, and then we start seeing other people wearing those things or some version of it, yeah, and we say, Welp, I guess I better get my pink shirt.
SPEAKER_04Yes.
SPEAKER_00There's an incredible pressure to conform to what every pressure. If something comes out that is unconventional, but then everybody starts doing it to be cool, it just looks like a uniform now that we're all feeling like we have to wear. And then this retailers jump on board by only providing those things, whatever is it's this horrible vicious circle. So the fashion fashion industry says, You like this, and then we people start buying that, and then we see people wearing those things, so then we go out, and even if we don't want that look, there's no other looks. It's like you go to your regular retailer and they're like, No, this is what's in now, this cut of jean, this this kind of style, this kind of print, this is what you need to wear right now. So it's really hard to be unconventional unless you just do something really, really radical.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And you remember like when people were wearing their pants backwards? Remember that was a thing? No. So they used to wear their pants backwards. Oh, when was that?
SPEAKER_03I think he made it.
SPEAKER_00It was in the 90s. The kid rappers of the 90s who wore their clothes backwards and asked you to jump. Remember those guys?
SPEAKER_04Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_00It happened. So there were backwards pants, okay. You take my word for it.
SPEAKER_02There were backwards pants. You had like a fever dream.
SPEAKER_00Well, that goes without saying. All my dreams are fever dreams. This could be one of them. So backwards pants was the thing, and it's like nobody really thought that was right, but because they saw people doing it, um, they did it.
SPEAKER_03Allegedly.
SPEAKER_00So allegedly. So, but my point is you may disagree with this too, but my point is that we we have these, we get these styling cues from from the outer world, from the fashion industry, and by looking at other people, sometimes famous, not so famous, around us, doing something, and we just do it even though that is not a choice we would make normally. Right. You agree with that?
SPEAKER_03Yeah. I wouldn't have chosen Jenko jeans if I was in my right mind.
SPEAKER_00Right. And I so I don't think we're completely to blame. We are at sea here. We don't know what we're supposed to be wearing, and we are, you know, basically marching to the beat of the drum that the retailers and the fashion industry and other people, you know, are suggesting that we should march to. And I think it's too bad. I think if we were left to our own devices, I think our clothing choices would be much simpler.
SPEAKER_03I feel like in my in my older age now, I just wear whatever I want. And I love it. It's great, it's very empowering.
SPEAKER_00Right. And I think that's great. And I I that is probably the best thing we can do, but I also think that, you know, because at a lot of the basic retailers that you go to, because they're making clothes that they think fits the current style, you just don't have that many choices, and I think that's part of the problem. And I know this for a fact because I lived through the 70s where we wore uh the bell bottom trousers.
SPEAKER_04Yes.
SPEAKER_00That with the with if you've ever watched like uh some of the later Brady Bunch episodes, Mr. Brady would wear these very loud, like checked bell bottoms and the disco shirts made again out of the flameable stuff.
SPEAKER_03I just watched that last episode of Black Mirror.
SPEAKER_00Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_03Remember that like demon guy dresses as the rah-rah rescue guy?
SPEAKER_00That yes, and it looks good on him. And it's great on him, but not on your basic guy.
SPEAKER_03Like a Donnie Wahlberg, or not Wahlberg, Donnie Osmond kind of a Donnie Osmond, yes.
SPEAKER_00Donnie Osmond, he really made those clothes work for him. He tried Donnie and Marie, were they the Mormons?
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So that's that's the music you were probably allowed to listen to.
SPEAKER_03I never once listened to the Osmonds. I don't know any of their music.
SPEAKER_00This is why Mormonism didn't work for him.
SPEAKER_03Hymns only.
SPEAKER_00Hymns only. Just kidding. But weren't they acceptable? Weren't they an acceptable part of the Mormon community?
SPEAKER_03We never really had like restrictions on music. Oh, okay, that's cool. We would just listen to our 90s pop. Okay. Yeah. I think I couldn't tell you a single Osmond song.
SPEAKER_00They do one bad apple, don't spoil the whole bunch, girl. Nope.
SPEAKER_03So that was that I've never heard the song before in my life.
SPEAKER_00That was that little, I don't know if that was Donnie singing there, but he was definitely doing his best job of imitating a young Michael Jackson.
SPEAKER_03Yes, definitely.
SPEAKER_00This was such a rip of a Jackson 5 tune. That was their attempt. And it did have some popularity. But you didn't hear that.
SPEAKER_03Never.
SPEAKER_00Wow.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I'm concerned. I was watching the famous movie. It's called Soylent Green.
SPEAKER_04Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_00And people who have never seen the movie remember. Spoiler alert. Yeah. It's the last line of the movie is Soylent Green is People. And it's this dystopian future movie. It was made in 1972 or three, in three, nineteen seventy three. And it's supposed to be taking place in 2022, which is basically last year. So I've because I saw that in the little description, even though I've seen the movie before, but it's been ages. I said, Well, let me let me see how close they got to what it's like.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_00You know, are they showing people wearing short pants and hard shoes? Because that's what we're that's where we are right now. Any backwards pants, you know, anything. Suffice it to say, the movie blows massive chunks. It's so hard to watch.
SPEAKER_03And mainly because it's such a cultural reference.
SPEAKER_00I don't like Charlton Heston, I just gotta say. He just chews every scene that he's ever in. But at the time, people thought he was such a great actor, and to this day, people sort of reference that, but it's like this guy was just a massive goon on film, I thought. But anyway, they spent no money on this movie and they spent no money on costumes because Charlton Heston, who's the star, he's playing like a tough cop. Yeah, wears exactly the same clothes the entire movie.
SPEAKER_03Maybe you just have one outfit that you'd have a bunch of in the future.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, maybe. But one thing is it's super hot because it's got there's global warming, so they got that kind of right. And there's no there's not enough air conditioning, and he's all sweaty all the time. But he's wearing this little thing that I can't, it's not it's not an ascot, it's like a mini scarf that he's wearing like an ascot. Are you getting this?
SPEAKER_04Okay, yeah, sure.
SPEAKER_00I don't know what the name of that would be. You know, it looks like a shop rag, you know, like you check your oil. But anyway, he's got this wrapped around his neck too. So basically, he's wearing uh polyester pants that are too tight for a man of his age. Okay, whatever it was at that time, it had to be at least 50. He's wearing a white, a regular white t-shirt, not a nice white t-shirt, but like a Sears brand boy's t-shirt, a little too tight. He's got some stupid 70s style jacket, but he's got this little kerchief, is that what it's called? And he keeps unwite during the movie. Like actors are always like, What do I do with my hands? So his it's called business. His business with this thing kept was to take it off and wipe his sweat and he puts it back on. And it's just to me, it reads just gross.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it's like, let me just wipe off this dirty, grimy like hankies, like when people used to carry around like handkerchiefs and like just blow their nose into a cloth and then put it back in your pocket, and then sometimes offer it to you if you're crying.
SPEAKER_00It's like, whoa, hey, nose blow. No, take that. And uh um, I was always worried about the nuns because they would have their nose-blowing rag up their sleeves. Yeah, so they would they would do the they would do some massive blows.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_00They'd be blowing in the classroom. Oh my god. And then they would stick the rag back up their thing. And even as a kid, I'm like, even as a disgusting child who is dirty all the time, like there uh I was a pig, basically. Again, I'm right to the pigs. I love the pigs, but anyway, I was a pig as a kid. Uh-huh. But even that seemed a little gross to me, like, whoa, you're keeping it there?
SPEAKER_03I'd like you to know that you said they were doing massive blows and then shoving the rag back up their thing.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_04Okay. I just to recap.
SPEAKER_00Yes, thank you. I'm glad you're paying attention because that's exactly what they did.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_00They do massive blows, they stick the rag right up their right back up their thing. Did I say thing? Yeah, I didn't think. I meant to say sleeve.
SPEAKER_03Well, you didn't.
SPEAKER_00So in this movie, Soiling Green, there were no nuns. Okay. It was totally misogynistic. Like everything about it just sucked. Yeah. And the everything and the plot and the way just women are treated. It's just horrible. But every guy in the movie is wearing one of these sweat rags. Stupid no, no, that was only Charlton Hesson. That was his thing.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_00But the rest of them wore these stupid hats that at one time in the 70s, they the fashion industry said you should be wearing these hats.
SPEAKER_03Okay. Oh, like a newsboy cap kind of thing.
SPEAKER_00I guess. But there were different versions of this hat. It was like supposed to be like a funky hat.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_00Like a good times funky hat.
SPEAKER_04Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_00And every guy in the movie, they said, okay, well, gee, let's make you look cool and because it's the 70s, and we don't know what they're gonna wear in the future. So let's just wear what the fashion industry is telling us to wear right now. So they wore funky hats and they had these 70s-style sunglasses, and they just look like goons. Every single guy has these hats. Every guy in the movie, and it just looks so bad. They didn't even try to imagine the future. Right. They just wanted to make their actors look like they were cool in the 70s. So they wore a 70s look, although nobody was wearing those t-shirts, and nobody had that something tied around their neck and were wiping themselves off with it.
SPEAKER_03It's no Flash Gordon showing us the future of fashions.
SPEAKER_00I have watched some Flash Gordon. I actually have watched Flash Gordon. You've watched it?
SPEAKER_03Yes. Do you it's that's like a gay staple movie. You have to watch Flash Gordon.
SPEAKER_00Oh, wait a minute. So I'm talking about there was an original sh TV show. Oh there were shorts made. Okay. Like they were all very short, like episodes like 12 minute long. Oh. So but you're saying there's a movie which was made when uh has to have been like the 70s, probably.
SPEAKER_03And then Queen has that song, the Flash Flash. Ah you know, that's it.
SPEAKER_00Yes, yeah, yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. But Flash Gordon is a staple for the gay community. Is that what you say?
SPEAKER_03If you're yeah. You have to watch Flash Gordon.
SPEAKER_00I don't think I've seen it.
SPEAKER_03Oh, well, you have your homework for when you go home today.
SPEAKER_00Is the lead character does it does hear?
SPEAKER_03He's an American football player that goes to space. Yes, he has blonde hair.
SPEAKER_00Um I remember there was I think there was an X-rated movie called Flesh Gordon. Oh, I'm sure. But I think that was also in the 70s. And I did not see that, I don't think, but who knows?
SPEAKER_03You're mixing them up.
SPEAKER_00It's all the same to me. It's all the same. So I I think that I think that we're all struggling. I think that you can dress like everybody else and at least feel comfortable. That's what we do. It's like, well, you're gonna wear white socks and black shoes and short pants, then I'll do it, and at least we'll be doing the same thing. Or you're gonna wear a backwards hat, or you're gonna wear uh whatever, the pink shirt. I'm telling you, some of these guys look like they were whacked out of their listen to them. No, I'm not saying the 2% look great. The 2% look great. It was a 98%.
SPEAKER_03Wonderful pink shirts. Well, wear the pink shirt.
SPEAKER_00I don't mind it now because it's no longer a trend. It was mainly I would see all these business guys trying to pull off the pink shirt, the long sleeve.
SPEAKER_03Were we talking about like the preppy like polo pink shirt?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, oh and how about when they did the two-tones? So they had the solid white collar tie, but then the shirt was a different color. It was a two-tone shirt, like white over blue. Yeah, those look weird.
SPEAKER_03Weird.
SPEAKER_00It was just disorienting. I want to slap those guys, but then everybody's wearing it. And it's like you go into the store, and that like 90% of what's being presented to you if you need a dress shirt is this two-tone nutbag look. And I'm like, I'm a solid no. Just give me old standard white shirt or blue. Uh-huh. Don't two-tone me. But I think anyway, I think the best thing we can do is just what Jamie said before, wear what makes you feel comfortable.
SPEAKER_03Yes, wear whatever makes you happy and represents who you are as a person. Yeah. I love that nowadays.
SPEAKER_00And don't worry about what the conventions are. And if that means wearing backwards pants, like people used to do, even though you don't remember it.
SPEAKER_03No, I don't think it is a thing. I think it's like one of those things where like people think that Sinbad was in like a genie movie, but he wasn't. But people were like a lot of people remember that that's a thing. There's a name for it, and I think that that's what you're experiencing. I don't think that the backwards pants was a thing.
SPEAKER_00I think you had like a crazy dream. Sinbad appeared as a genie somehow in something.
SPEAKER_03You think that.
SPEAKER_00In something.
SPEAKER_03I think that.
SPEAKER_00Now I'm not saying it was a movie, but some kind of TV show.
SPEAKER_03Try to find it.
SPEAKER_00Well, I will.
SPEAKER_03Everybody thinks it's a thing.
SPEAKER_00By the way, how did Sinbad have a career exactly? What was his thing? Was he a comedian?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I think.
SPEAKER_00I never saw him do anything.
SPEAKER_03Right. Like what happened to him?
SPEAKER_00And what happened to Sinbad?
SPEAKER_03Now he's a genie.
SPEAKER_00We're looking that up right now. His real name is David Adkins, better known by his stage name, Sinbad. He's an American stand-up comedian and actor. Uh personal life. He was a genie.
SPEAKER_03There's a thing that it's called where people think they remember something and it's like a bunch of people think they remember it, but it's not a thing.
SPEAKER_00It's uh you're talking about like a mass hallucination? A suggested memory?
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Well, Sinbad played a genie. That maybe that's what it's called. Do you think Sinbad played a genie because he did?
SPEAKER_03It says it turns out that the movie Shazam never existed, and yet many people hold on.
SPEAKER_00The movie existed. There was something called Shazam. I remember it.
SPEAKER_03The Mandela Effect is what it's called.
SPEAKER_00The Mandela Effect.
SPEAKER_03Even Sinbad himself denies the movie exists. It's not that people are confusing Shazam for Kazam, the very real movie starring Shaquille O'Neal as a genie. They think the two movies were released around the same time. Hold on. I swear to God, this is like a a thing. Sinbad never made a genie movie called Shazam.
SPEAKER_00Alright, Sinbad, if you're out there.
SPEAKER_03It's not a movie that exists. It's not on IMDb. Even the YouTube, the movie that never existed.
SPEAKER_00Wow, you really this is like you're myth busting. You're myth busting right now.
SPEAKER_03I'm not myth busting. This uh it's a thing. It's a myth effect. The Mandela effect.
SPEAKER_00The Mandela effect. And what's the Mandela effect while you're at it?
SPEAKER_03It's when every like a bunch of people remember the same thing.
SPEAKER_00The same wrong thing. Is it never happened?
SPEAKER_03Actually, a thing. Right. Didn't actually exist.
SPEAKER_00Right. Like everyone thinks that.
SPEAKER_03There was a movie called Kazam with Shaq in it. But there was never a movie called Shazam with Sinbad or anything.
SPEAKER_00Oh wait, here it is. Sinbad never played a genie. This one is perhaps the most bizarre of all. Several people can attest that they distinctly remember seeing the comedian in a movie called Shazam. Many argue they're confusing this memory with the movie Kazam, starring Shaquille O'Neal as a genie, but who really knows? Wow. I almost see I can almost see Sinbad in his genie outfit in this movie. And you're saying it never existed.
SPEAKER_03It never existed.
SPEAKER_00Backwards Pants existed.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Okay. Well, I want to thank this. Has been a very research-heavy show. Yes. Thank all of you for joining us for this episode. If you like what we're doing, we would sure love you to help us. And the best way to help us currently is to write a spectacular review for us. A five-star review on Apple Podcasts. Would you do that? Also, if you want us to continue doing this work that we're just hard work.
SPEAKER_03Just fine work.
SPEAKER_00Just fine work that's keeping Jamie off the street, please uh reach out to us and let us know. We need the love. And we hope you will tune in to another episode because whether you are just someone going out for middle class fancy eats at Applebee's, or you think Sinbad is wearing backwards pants, it's important to remember that we all smell like humans. Goodbye, everybody.
SPEAKER_03The last thing I Googled was the mortality rate for an orbital lobotomy.