Smells Like Humans
Top 5% global podcast! Smells Like Humans is a seasonal podcast dedicated to bringing a humorous perspective to quirky and curious aspects of human behavior. Each show, the SLH crew will focus on a different topic, and share personal stories and observations in a way that sounds like you’re hanging out with your funny friends. The stories and commentary are presented with humor and warmth, since let’s face it: we all smell like humans. (Contact us: contactSLH19581980@gmail.com)
Smells Like Humans
DO "DECEMBER-MAY" RELATIONSHIPS CREEP YOU OUT?
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Jenny joins Ross to discuss the perceptions of couples mismatched on age. Tangents include: Jenny's wedding recap; Chuck Berry encounters; crooners; Tony Bennett; "How Stella Got Her Groove Back"; old vampires; "Party Cabin"; Ross continues to wonder what a "lido deck" is.
Notes:
- https://slate.com/human-interest/2016/11/why-older-men-who-date-younger-women-are-so-infuriating.html
- https://www.aarp.org/home-family/friends-family/info-2017/age-differences-between-couples-fd.html
- Reach Jenny at: https://www.breakupbuddypdx.com/
Contact us: contactSLH19581980@gmail.com
Wait.
unknownWhat? Wait.
SPEAKER_02Wait a minute. Chuck Berry went on a date with your mom? Yes.
SPEAKER_01Alright, this is what we're talking about.
SPEAKER_02Welcome to another episode of Smells Like Humans. This is the podcast where we explore the curious things that people do, the very human things that grab our attention and cause us to wonder, what and why? I'm Ross, your host, and my guest today is a marvelous human, funny, charismatic, and uniquely charming. It's Jenny. Hey there, Jenny.
SPEAKER_03Hello.
SPEAKER_02Welcome to the show.
SPEAKER_03Thank you, thank you. Thank you for having me back.
SPEAKER_02It's been a while, and I'm so glad you're here. Welcome everyone to the show, wherever you hail from in this great wide world. We appreciate you. You are welcome here. You're part of our family, and let's talk. So I think everybody who remembers that conversation about cringe-free weddings want to know. First of all, how did you think the wedding went? I liked it.
SPEAKER_03I want to do it again.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. I've done it a couple times. It's fun to do.
SPEAKER_03I just wanted to do the same day over again. Oh, the same day. Just like get a groundhog loop of just my wedding over and over and over again.
SPEAKER_02I will say it was one of the better weddings that I've ever been to. Maybe one of the top three, because first of all, you get there and somebody hands you a glass of champagne immediately, which was cool. And then you came up to me from somewhere, I dropped from the sky with flowing robes, and you came over and said hello, gave me a hug, introduced me to some of your family. And I was like, wow, a lot of brides and grooms and couples don't like feel comfortable doing that or too too busy or they're too nervous. And they but you were there. You were like being the host and the bride at the same time and the organizer.
SPEAKER_03I wanted to experience the whole thing. I didn't want to spend a lot of time hiding in a room, like trying to avoid the light. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02But it was really nice. It was a nice feeling as a guest. And then the ceremony was lovely. Won't go into all the details, but it was short and sweet and lovely and touching. And then immediately lining up for food, and the food was killer.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And that doesn't always happen.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Doesn't always happen. And I went like for I know I went for seconds.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And I know I was thinking about like, can I go for thirds? Is anybody watching me? Probably not. Nobody's paying attention to me. So I thought it went really well.
SPEAKER_03So shout out to Masala Lab in Portland, Oregon.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, go there. It's food is good. But let me ask you, how's the marriage part going? I like it. How long has it been now? A year?
SPEAKER_03Almost a year.
SPEAKER_02I'm glad things went well for your wedding. But we know that love, true love, like you have, is hard to find and it's even harder to maintain. Not for you, but for a lot of people. And my feeling is that anytime anyone can find happiness and satisfaction with another human, that's a good thing. No matter what it looks like, no matter whether it makes sense to our families or friends or the world. And you and I live in Portland, and it's a pretty open-minded town, especially when it comes to what I call idiosyncratic pairings. And yet there was one pairing that continues to irk more than a few people. And it's the so-called December-May pairing. So we got an older person paired up with a markedly younger person. And that particular juxtaposition tends to irk people a little or even a lot. In fact, many people report experiencing a serious case of ick when they see an older person paired with a younger person. Before we dive deeply into this December-May thing and the fact that a lot of people react negatively to those pairings, I just want to say that if you're paired with an older or younger partner and it's working and it's healthy and you feel good about it, good on you, mate. It's okay. Yes. Relationships are hard. I think I've said that on many podcasts. It's hard. And if you're you find someone and it works somehow, and even if it isn't old or young, it's some other weird thing that the society says is wrong for some reason, just go for it. Go for your happiness, because happiness and satisfaction are hard to find.
SPEAKER_03I think that there's so much judgment out there. If people are of age and of consent with each other and they find each other, uh then they should stay with each other.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. So when you see an older person coupled, and when I say couple, I mean obviously romantically coupled with a younger person, what's do you have any reaction to that? I mean, and I want to know just your gut, not the socially correct answer, but just what is your feeling when you when you see that?
SPEAKER_03I think that there's, you know, if I saw an 80-year-old and a 60-year-old, it's oddly like less icky. That's interesting.
SPEAKER_02Yes, that's and it's an excellent thing that I hadn't thought of.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_02If it's 80-60, you're both dead. Go for it. But 40-20, it's more of an ick. It's more of an ick. You may not even be able to tell the difference between the 80 and the 60, depending on because there's some old 60 and there's some young 80 people out there.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Okay. That's a really good point. So if you see a 40-20, do you have that icky?
SPEAKER_03I do usually have a little bit of an ick, yeah.
SPEAKER_02What seems worse, an older man with a younger woman, or an older woman with a younger man? I was just staying with men and women for the moment.
SPEAKER_03I was thinking about it, and I still I think now with more knowledge of the devastation that some of these relationships can cause to both people's lives, I think that uh there is a societal ick when it's um a man and woman, and a societal yay when it's uh the woman and uh younger man. Um but I I still think that they're both very questionable at times.
SPEAKER_02What do you when you see an older man, so anywhere from 40 up with a younger woman, anywhere from 20 to 30, let's say, what is one of the things that typically you would expect would pop in somebody's mind?
SPEAKER_03The stereotype is usually that he has money.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_03Yes.
SPEAKER_02So he's got money, otherwise, why why would she be in that carnival? Like why would she be attending that circus?
SPEAKER_03And 100% that this is his second wife trophy.
SPEAKER_02Yes, yeah, trophy, trophy partner. Some people believe that if it's a younger female with an older male, that there must she must have some daddy issues. She's looking to replay some psychodrama with her partner.
SPEAKER_03All her fault.
SPEAKER_02Right. How about older women with a younger man? Like what are what are some are there stereotypes there?
SPEAKER_03Uh there's the how Stella got a groove back principle.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Like you go, right? Like you're doing great. Yeah. You can still get it done.
SPEAKER_03Exactly. Show show those men who never treated you right that you can Yeah.
SPEAKER_02What look what you missed.
SPEAKER_03Yes.
SPEAKER_02I feel like the uh when it's a younger man, I feel like part of the stereotype or the generalization that pops in is he's probably not only broke, but maybe he's like a suffering artist or uh a scammer. Yeah like he's a con man or something. Um, and he's just you know getting over on this older person and pretending, you know, to love her.
SPEAKER_03It's always a pretense. It's never like he could truly be in love with her. Right.
SPEAKER_02And that's the thing I want to focus in on. All of us go to these negative stereotypes. Well, we at least initially. But the thing that we never think about is, well, maybe they actually, maybe this is actually a real relationship.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, but I think we do that as protection.
SPEAKER_02A protection from what?
SPEAKER_03I think sometimes we do it for protection of like if we think it's a real relationship, then we have to then try to understand what makes them attracted to each other. And at least in my head, it's usually not super healthy.
SPEAKER_02Right. And that's that I think a lot of people in the world and a lot of people listening are probably thinking the same thing. It doesn't seem healthy, it doesn't seem stable, it seems to be dysfunctional. So, what would make you less happy if you found out that I was dating someone 25 years younger, or I'm dating someone 25 years older?
SPEAKER_03I think younger, knowing you, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Younger would make you less happy.
SPEAKER_03Yes.
SPEAKER_02Okay. And why would that be?
SPEAKER_03I've known you for years.
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_03You deserve someone that is at your level.
SPEAKER_02Wow.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So I deserve an old person. I know you're being paid me a very nice compliment. Well, that's a very nice way to put it. So I started pondering why are we so automatically biased? Like, because it's pretty universal and it's pretty automatic. It happens before we have a chance to correct ourselves and say, well, maybe you know they're really in love, and we tell, you know, we try to cover it up with the BS icing that we put on our real thoughts to make us sound better. What do you think is the source of this automatic bias against mismatched couples on age?
SPEAKER_03I can't speak to everyone, but I know for me, uh some of the bias that I have is that I think usually the older person, male or female, tends to be seeking out someone at their emotional and maturity depth. Um and I think that usually it's because that person hasn't really grown up much themselves that they are continuously attracted to people that are much younger to them than them. Uh because it seems to be, you know, the Leonardo DiCaprio principle. Like they tend to keep going for people that are younger than them. And you have to eventually ask yourself, you know, is it because they just like pretty young things, or is it because older people um hold them to a higher accountability and ask more from them than they are willing to give? So they would rather date someone who has a lower maturity level.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's pretty insightful, I think. Are you still doing breakup buddy? I still am. So can can you just tell us the elevator speech for Breakup Buddy?
SPEAKER_03Uh so breakup buddy is if you go in through breakup and you need someone to talk to that is kind and empathetic and also non-judgmental, you can come to Breakup Buddy and talk about your breakup with me.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_03And they find you at uh www.breakupbuddypdx.com.
SPEAKER_02Okay. We know that many so-called cute couples in perfect-looking relationships are actually formed between psychologically busted people. So, you know, we all are in this game of seeking out partners, and we often, as our friend Tracy, the therapist, has pointed out on the show many times, we seek out familiar personality patterns which allow us to continue our dysfunctional ways into the future. And so just because a couple looks right, and we think, wow, that's such a nice looking couple, doesn't necessarily guarantee anything, right? No. So that's just we're just I'm just saying, hey, by the way, just because it looks right doesn't mean it's right. Second, these positive reactions, these sort of automatic reactions we have to the cute young couple are also filled with a lot of bias about how relationships should look. I read this article and it was written by someone who sounded kind of angry about older men with younger women. I will link the article in the show notes, but they were they focused on Tony Bennett. Yes. He's a singer. He's a crooner, I think you'd say. Is he still alive? Word has it that he's no longer in the world. So rest in peace, Tony Bennett. He was a crooner.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_02Do you like crooners? Are you a crooner person?
SPEAKER_03I you know what? I do love a standard, so I'll say yes.
SPEAKER_02Well, uh, Tony Bennett, did he do something with Lady Gaga or was that the other guy?
SPEAKER_03I uh yes, he and Lady Gaga were like besties.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I think they um did he do something with Amy Winehouse?
SPEAKER_03That I am unsure. Yes, he did.
SPEAKER_02Yes. Okay.
SPEAKER_03This is totally off topic, but you know who actually used to be hanging around when I was growing up? Chuck Berry.
SPEAKER_02Chuck Berry was hanging around.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I used to see him all the time.
SPEAKER_02You used to see Chuck Berry all the time. You mean in concert or just like at the stop and go?
SPEAKER_03Um when I I was grew up in St. Louis, Missouri. Okay. And uh some of my closest friends own a very famous restaurant there called Blueberry Hill. Oh my goodness. They were famous with or they were famous, they were friends with Chuck Berry. And so sometimes I'd go over to their house and Chuck Berry would be there. And that meant nothing to me. I was like eight, but yeah.
SPEAKER_02Did was he like playing guitar licks all the time? What was he like? Wait. Wait, wait a minute. Chuck Berry went on a date with your mom? Yes.
SPEAKER_01All right. This is what we're talking about.
SPEAKER_02Was it a December May?
SPEAKER_03Um he must have been older. I'm sure my mom was probably in her 30s. And he would he would have been in his maybe sixties.
SPEAKER_00This is it. This is okay.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02What? This is serendipity. On top of a scoop of Kismet. So how did that relationship go?
SPEAKER_03Uh they just went on one date. My mom did not enjoy the date. Um no. What did where did they go? They uh so the my friends who owned this restaurant and the ones who kind of set them up um just had like a uh brunch, but it was obvious, you know, it was like made known. This is to get you two to meet, fall in love, you know. Yeah, but then I would become the heir to the Chuck Berry Fortune.
SPEAKER_02I know this is what I'm excited about. You could have been Chuck Berry's stepdaughter.
SPEAKER_03Yes.
SPEAKER_02And that would have changed everything.
SPEAKER_03It would have changed many things, I'm sure. Um, but so they had a lunch together, and apparently it didn't go very well. Um my mom thought he was very rude. I don't know if he just wasn't into what was going on or like I don't want to disparage Chuck Berry.
SPEAKER_02We don't want to disparage the memory of Chuck Berry.
SPEAKER_03Well, he's he's kind of disparaged the memory himself, but yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I don't feel like he left a necessarily positive trait in the world. But it's cool that you essentially, I mean, I think we can say if we just kind of blur the lines of reality a little bit and just say you uh are the heir to the Barry Fortune.
SPEAKER_03I mean, if there is still money left behind, please send it to me.
SPEAKER_02Tony Bennett. Yeah, he's a crooner. So there's a picture of him taken with after one of his shows, standing next to a fan, and he was also standing next to essentially his future wife, who was in the fan's womb. Hadn't been born yet. Okay. Tony was forty at the time. So eventually he marries the woman who was just a fetus at the time that photo was taken, is my point. Okay. So he was at least 40 years older. Some people think that's gross.
SPEAKER_03It is not ungross.
SPEAKER_02He was 40 and she was negative several weeks. So that's kind of that ick factor. This person writes this article, says it captures everything that's wrong with our sexist, youth-worshiping, male privilege, run-amuck society. She claims in this article that women get less valuable as they age, while men just get to enjoy the ride.
SPEAKER_03Oh, it's nice that she gets to claim that.
SPEAKER_02And then at the very end, she says two things. You can't help who you love. Okay. Maybe Tony and Susan Benedetto are genuinely the greatest love story of our time.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_02And then she says, Still, it's icky. And she says to women, this is no time to be a traitor to your generation. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Find somebody your own age. And I felt like that was a little strong.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I wonder what was going on in her life when she wrote this article.
SPEAKER_02That isn't explained. But you can imagine that being said about a different pairing and how offensive that would be if people said something like about that in any other sort of demographic category. Yeah. So it's like, wow, that's pretty strong. But I'm wondering if I'm reacting to it because, as you know, I was in one of these relationships.
SPEAKER_03Thank you very much for saying that because you've been tiptoeing.
SPEAKER_02You've been tiptoeing around it, sort of. Well, I think these people are emotionally bankrupt. They've got some serious issues, and they need to be put down. I'm not saying who I'm talking about right now. It was very funny. No, I was one of these people. Yes. So it was it was a classic December, May. It was impossible to go anywhere without feeling people's judgment.
SPEAKER_03Yes.
SPEAKER_02They would say things sometimes as a joke, or they would People like strangers or strangers, yeah. Oh yeah, all the time.
SPEAKER_03I can see your close friends being like, hey.
SPEAKER_02You are interested in relationships and you're really good with them. So I had this thing, uh, felt the judgment all the time. Sometimes it was an innocent thing where you'd like we'd be on be somewhere like going on a tour or something, and people, you know how people refer to each other like, oh, uh is the skateboard couple here? Is and so they'll call, oh, was the father-daughter here? And so it was like that. That they weren't trying to be insulting, but it was like just kept me aware that they knew, everyone knew you weren't getting it past anybody. Everyone saw the difference. It was kind of good for me to feel that judgment because as a white male, I don't get a lot of judgment. Oh, not like that.
SPEAKER_03I'm sorry, that that had to be your first experience with that.
SPEAKER_02Yes, I understand. Uh it's all around the world. This people are constantly feeling diminished and judged and stereotyped, and it's quite unfortunate. And being aware of it and being the subject of it, being the receiver of it, are two different things. So it was good for me to be marginalized and treated unfairly and be the target of scorn and ridicule and ridicule. Because sometimes that would go on, and sometimes they would say it, like strangers would say it to her, like, oh, we know this is not what you really want to be doing. So we know this is like a thing, and like kind of like trying to be co-conspiratives, like, hey, we were we're and we know this couldn't be a real thing. It was it was someone I met, and we just slowly got to know each other just like normal relationships start, and we were quite compatible on many levels, and it just developed into a thing. And so while I was in it, I always felt the best we can do is just enjoy our relationship because people are gonna just do whatever they do. So when I was in it, I felt like, no, this is like a real thing, this is a real relationship, but I also was very conscious of the ick factor it was creating for people, and I didn't like that.
SPEAKER_03Did it ever feel like it created an ick factor within your relationship, or was it always from outside?
SPEAKER_02It was always from outside because we felt like we were soulmates. Okay, we just felt totally connected, we just gelled, and it just never felt weird to us like at any time. And there wasn't, you know, I think there's some truth. about what you said about the emotional maturity and what you're what you're willing to accept as a partner and what it what that says about where you are on the emotional um development scale, you know? And so I'm willing to allow for that. But in the inside the relationship, there there really wasn't that element that played out strongly in why we were connected.
SPEAKER_03And it was never ever ever a thing that was thought of between or discussed between the two of you.
SPEAKER_02The age thing wasn't important to us and we didn't have a lot of discussions about you know you know that related to the age difference, except there was an awareness that at some point if this continued like in a sort of perfect dream world, if it continued for many years, I'd be uh you know I'd be in a hefty sack on the curb and she still have a lot of her life.
SPEAKER_03Summer salt, kick, kick, kick.
SPEAKER_02Yes exactly. But the the but other than that we just didn't come up very often. Yeah. So and the reason we broke up had nothing to do with the age difference.
SPEAKER_03I was like the opposite in that I dated someone who was 10 years younger and I will say I was 35 and he was 25 at the time. And I will say that there was for me some allure some of that how Stella got our groove back of like kind of bragging like oh I'm dating I'm look what I can do. Yeah I called him like my boy toy or something when I would discuss them amongst friends. It was very a little bit of like I'll say it before you can say it.
SPEAKER_02Right. Oh interesting.
SPEAKER_03And I would say that the reason why we broke up I mean sorry aside from the many of the the fathomable reasons that one would break up was because there was such an ick factor.
SPEAKER_02Oh wow interesting yeah it didn't feel genuine and authentic. Yes that I can't say that I was like just totally at ease with the fact that I knew the world was looking at us negatively.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And that I that act and looking at me in particular like I was the bad guy. In my relationship it felt genuine and authentic. I didn't look at her as a trophy and I didn't actually see myself as being inappropriately older. Okay. I didn't really see it the way other people were seeing it and it so it didn't it didn't occur to me that way. I have to admit that it was sometimes it felt like I had to do more work somehow in the relationship.
SPEAKER_03Do you think though that in some ways the fact that you had to work a little bit harder and step up a little bit more in that relationship was one of the reasons why you liked that relationship.
SPEAKER_02I think that we have to I have to face you know this is going back to what you said earlier is like you you are seeking out there's an element of like seeking out someone who maybe is at your level of emotional security or development or there's got to be some element of that. We can't ignore that. And I think that was true for me because the journey I went on after we broke up I've changed so much. So when I look back at that now there's nothing about I mean I'm I was glad to have the relationship and I'm not regretting it but I would not seek out another relationship like that.
SPEAKER_03I've seen well I and I haven't seen but I know that the women that you have dated since have been more age appropriate. Yes. So there was some growing up that you had to do maybe within that which is acceptable.
SPEAKER_02Yeah I think that's right. I think that's right. And it's just sort of a change in perspective on what I was actually looking for. And I don't think I was ever very thoughtful about that before then in in any of my relationships. I don't think I was very thoughtful. So I think I'm more thoughtful now and it's a good news story but you know I think there's no question that we prefer these symmetrical looking relationships. We want people to go together and I think part of it is part of it's resentment. I think we have there's a little bit of us sometimes that will resent someone who has it going on you know like a couple that's doing really well there's a little bit like not for you.
SPEAKER_03You're one of the people that's being resented I would love I would love for people to resent us and I people are resenting you and your end bless are my very wise 10 months of marriage.
SPEAKER_02Because you're so damn happy like when you showed up in the studio go, how are you doing? And you said I'm happy. You didn't say it creepy like that.
SPEAKER_03You said it like a normal person but somehow when I say when I'm imitating you I'm happy well I'd also say that uh my marriage is wonderful and I'm very glad to have it. It's one of the things that contributes to my happiness. It's not just the person.
SPEAKER_02Yes of course no that and it shows it's you're glowing right now I wish people could see you. The other thing that we didn't talk about with old and young no matter how it's sliced what the ages are there's always the risk that the older person's gonna get sick. Yes fall down lose their phone.
SPEAKER_01I mean there's so many things.
SPEAKER_03Well and I have one other thing too because I have this conversation um all the time with people is you know the the twilight principle the vampire principle like say if we never aged we got to 30 40 whatever age you want to say and we just stopped aging uh if I was a hundred year old vampire and I met an 18 year old young, you know, legal young thing, is it less yucky if I don't look old or is it still the same amount of ick?
SPEAKER_02If what you're saying is so the aging process arrests at some finite place. And then yeah so then you could be dating someone who's like thousands of years old like a soul that's been like in the world for thousands of years but they still are age appropriate. Yeah. That I think is fine.
SPEAKER_03I I see but then are we just grossed out by the the fallibility of our bodies or are we grossed out by the maturity of our minds?
SPEAKER_02We're grossed out by wrinkles and sagging skin. You see sagging skin I mean look in my face I'm a crag master and people look at me and they're disgusted just because it reminds us all I've said this before but when we see an old person we go oh crap I'm on that path too see but that's the Sean Connery principle of like you know older like men it just brings up so many things because men tend to when they age it's very acceptable and they're hot they're cloony some of them they're they're a silver flax there's like a percentage of them very small percentage most of them are just busted humps they just don't look right they don't smell right sometimes old people stop caring about physical stuff.
SPEAKER_03They don't just don't want to do it anymore.
SPEAKER_02The aging on but that can happen to anyone but old I mean it is a thing um sometimes there can be jealousy that enters into it when there's like a another outside younger person gets into their life like uh like they're having a threesome no no it's not going that far um what am I trying to say yeah please there can be jealousy when what am I talking about? So they can be jealous getting like there's four people in this really okay so what it is it's a threesome and a cameraman. Okay got it okay now I'm tracking this so what we have there's a there's a penguin okay okay in the room two ducks okay two ducks three squawking geese there's a there's a young woman wearing a dunce cap okay and there's a man in a cape. All right now what I'm trying to say I wanted to see what this one went I was just trying to say that if you're an older person and the younger person starts a friend relationship with someone who is age appropriate yes you can s feel jealous because like oh are they gonna leave me for someone who's their own age oh oh yeah you did not make that make sense until just now obviously yes no I knew I realized that I had not made that very clear I think that you people are getting jealous that they're getting jealous. It doesn't matter the age uh yeah but I yeah okay I think that's right but also it pr the old and young relationship December May creates a like a different potential level of jealousy because the older person knows whether it's an older woman older man whatever they know that they can't compete. Okay. You know that's just they're not gonna if the person decides to get interested in someone who's age appropriate the older person can't say well I'm like that too. No, because they're not they can't compete with the age part.
SPEAKER_03But I think that goes along with what you and I both have said that I think that if you're dating someone at any age that you truly is like this person likes me for me. Yeah yeah I'm not gonna say that you're not gonna ever worry right but I think that you would have less of that. But if you think that the only reason that person is with you is because of your money, your prosperity. Oh yeah the fact that you can, you know, get them a cheaper rate on car rentals.
SPEAKER_02Um or maybe you can rent a car. But you gotta be 25 you're gonna get a car in this country.
SPEAKER_03Uh then I think that is going to be a huge thing that you would worry every time that they went out with anybody of any age.
SPEAKER_02And I know there are guys out there, I've met them who uh realize that and don't care. They understand it's a transaction and when that person gets tired of them those go to the get the next person. But there are some people who truly feel like they're in a real relationship but still there's an element of jealousy. I will also say you mentioned something that I think is at the heart of a lot of this December May stuff for men since I'm in that group is and have done this. I think there's also always playing in the background the mortality fiddle so it's like uh okay uh this this boat ride's coming to an end yeah I need to uh see what's up on the Lido deck. Yes I don't know what the Lido deck is you ever been on a cruise what's the Lido deck is that a fun thing it sounds like it would be a hoot whatever it is. It's it's I gotta get to the party cabin. Is there a thing?
unknownSure.
SPEAKER_03Sure there must be a party cabin like I'm sure on some boat somewhere in the world there's something called a party cabin.
SPEAKER_02Party cabin it may not be what we think it is but I think there's a penguin okay so if you find yourself having an ick reaction to an older younger pairing which I'm right if I'm right is wired into your brain remember and remind yourself that maybe just maybe there's more to it maybe they feel that they are actually in an authentic loving relationship at least at that moment when you're seeing them give them a little grace and I just want to say I just unlike this author of this article I don't feel like you're being a traitor if you are in a relationship with an older person. You're not being a traitor against your generation you're not automatically a bad person. And maybe you do have some emotional issues that need attending but who doesn't relationships are hard. Thank you Jenny for going down this dark path of December May relationships. There's a lot of people out there that are in these relationships right now that are listening to this around the world going huh I need to talk to Jenny at breakupbuddypdx.com thank you to all of you for joining us for this episode if you like what we're doing you can help us by sharing the show with people you think would like it you can rate us on Apple Podcasts give us a five star sparkling review and we will read that on an upcoming show. You can support us on Patreon but mainly we just appreciate that you show up and you are here with us. You are part of our family and we love to have you here and we hope you will tune in to another episode because whether you are just a fetus waiting to be born so that you can date the man standing next to your mother or a 100 year old vampire who's still getting it done it's important to remember that we all smell like humans.
SPEAKER_03Goodbye everybody I think you were probably the charismatic guy that used humor to mask their pain.
SPEAKER_02Yes yes I was charismatically masking my pain