Smells Like Humans
Top 5% global podcast! Smells Like Humans is a seasonal podcast dedicated to bringing a humorous perspective to quirky and curious aspects of human behavior. Each show, the SLH crew will focus on a different topic, and share personal stories and observations in a way that sounds like you’re hanging out with your funny friends. The stories and commentary are presented with humor and warmth, since let’s face it: we all smell like humans. (Contact us: contactSLH19581980@gmail.com)
Smells Like Humans
IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME IF I DO HAVE A FAVORITE CHILD?
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Tracey the therapist joins Ross to discuss why some kids are just more fun and lovable. We also talk about why some kids feel like they are NOT the favorite, how it affects them later in life and what parents can do about it. The importance of cookie cutter shapes, grape counting, and farm chores are analyzed.
Contact us: contactSLH19581980@gmail.com
But you know, some kids are bums. You know, and and that's they're no good. Welcome to another episode of Smells Like Humans. This is the podcast where we explore the curious things that people do, the very human things that grab our attention and cause us to wonder what and why. I'm Ross, your host, and my guest today is a therapist and a groovy personal pan friend. It's Tracy. How are you doing, Tracy?
SPEAKER_00I'm doing great. Thanks for having me back, Ross.
SPEAKER_01It's a delight to have you and welcome everyone. It's been a couple of years since we have recorded a new podcast, and we're glad to visit with you again. Tracy and I have discussed coming back to expand on our Is There Something Wrong with Me theme? And we have selected a few of these topics to highlight. The question we are asking in this episode is Is there something wrong with me if I do have a favorite child? Now, Tracy, we know raising kids is hard. And we are both parents. You're still a parent, aren't you? Okay. So it's a job that you have no training for. Some of us have actually had inadequate training from inadequate role models.
SPEAKER_02Yep.
SPEAKER_01It's a job you get when you are younger and don't really know anything.
SPEAKER_02So true.
SPEAKER_01And sometimes, you know, you're lucky and you get a really great kid and you have a lot of pride and you like showing them off and you take a lot of credit for the cool things they do. And then sometimes you get kids who are a little bit harder to deal with. And, you know, they're kids I like to call bums. So we have all heard the expression, I think, mom liked you best. But is there truth to that? Do you find in your practice as a therapist that parents actually do have favorites?
SPEAKER_00I mean, I think yes and no and yes.
SPEAKER_01No and maybe.
SPEAKER_00Right? All of it. I mean, what I find, both as a parent myself and in working with many, many parents and people over the years is that like you said, some kids match better with a parent than than other kids. Right. At different developmental stages, they match better than others. They push our buttons in some ways differently than other ones do, or at different ages, they push our buttons at different things. So I think favoritism can also just be the kid that makes us the least uncomfortable.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. What I read indicated that the research shows that the kids who are most like the parents in terms of what they value and what they believe, and maybe their their hobbies and avocations, those kids tend to get a little better treatment. It's the kids who don't cause trouble. For the parents, don't freak them out, don't bug them, don't require a lot of extra Scooby-Doo treatment. And it's the kids who are a little bit more require a little bit more squeakier wheels. The squeakier wheel, those kids maybe are treated a little differently. But it's it turns out that the key factor in all of that, whether a kid is actually getting better treatment or not, is whether they think they're getting better or worse treatment.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And if a kid thinks they're getting worse treatment, that they're the least favored kid, that that affects their mental health as they grow up. The parents, I guess, can be doing this unconsciously.
SPEAKER_00Of course.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. They don't they're in their mind, they're not thinking, I have a favorite.
SPEAKER_00No.
SPEAKER_01I love all my kids.
SPEAKER_00Exactly the same.
SPEAKER_01You know, my mother had a really cool, she was really good at this. She had a pretty cool trick. And she somehow conveyed to each of us, and remember, I came from a monstrously large family, but that whatever our unique thing was, you know, whether a kid was musical or funny or smart, she made it seem like that's the thing she really loved about them.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So each kid, I think, had a thing. Felt special. Yeah. I'm I'm my mother understands that this is my talent, yeah, my gift, and she really enjoys that. She was good at that. Now my father's trick was that he didn't like anybody.
SPEAKER_00Sure. That makes it easier.
SPEAKER_01He didn't like anybody equally.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_01It's like you're not liked, so stop.
SPEAKER_00So stop it. You're already not liked, so don't try.
SPEAKER_01Don't even try to do anything. Whatever your whatever your talent was, he said, stop doing that. Don't try and get away from the television.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01You know, one of the things I was wondering about, because I think this is pretty common. I think it's A, common that parents would say, no, we don't have a favorite. I think it's common that one kid probably feels that they did not get the same treatment. So what I'm wondering is ideas that you might have or an idea you might have for how, first of all, a parent can make this assessment if this is going on in their in their family. Um, you know, how would they, how would they go about even noticing this behavior?
SPEAKER_00I mean, it's so interesting, right? I think the reality is we all have unconscious bias, and we have unconscious bias about our children too. And that the reality is we're going to have children in our lives who push our buttons more or less. Right. Or as parents, we very much want to go to bed at night feeling like I was a good parent.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_00Right. And man, I wish we'd get rid of the binary of good or bad parent.
SPEAKER_01What's the alternative? Mediocre.
SPEAKER_00Yes, we're all just shooting for mediocre. Um, no, I think it's, you know, a a parent who is a curious parent, a parent who is seeking to grow, a parent who is has more or fewer skills, a parent who is, right? But we may make it binary, like good or bad, then we're we're not hitting growth mindset. We're setting set mindset on that. And it makes it so hard. So then when a child is doing something that makes you feel not so successful as a parent, right, who you know, reflects poorly on you based on how you're like, but I wanted to show up at soccer and have my kid be the kid who was paying attention and scoring the goals and being successful. And instead, my kid is the one that, you know, is picking the clover and you know, like sending the ball in the other way. And we're like, that I don't want that to be my kid.
SPEAKER_01I've got the loser kid.
SPEAKER_00Right? Like you're like, that's not what I pictured. There's this meme out there that's a parent looking down at a kid saying, Um, you know, uh, you're not letting me be the parent I picture myself being.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that is so great. I like that expression that you use that parents want to feel successful. And when they're a their a kid isn't meeting that expectation, then they feel like they're not being successful. So it's it's stressful for the parent at that level, stressful for the kid too.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and then you don't like that child as much.
SPEAKER_01Ooh.
SPEAKER_00Right? Like you're like, oof, this is the child that's difficult. It's like, oh, well, what's happening is you're having emotional difficulty looking in the mirror of this child and deciding it means something about you. Because society says that it does, and our parents say it does, and the story we're given says it does, where the reality is it only partly does.
SPEAKER_01Well, and and part of it, too, is we get so caught up in, you know, we talk about these expectations for our kids, which were really those kind of expectations, really, are for ourselves. Yes. And we and we get so caught up in the kid manifesting this that we actually lose sight of who the kid is.
SPEAKER_00Exactly.
SPEAKER_01So I had a daughter who still do, uh, but when they were little, they went to their first Easter egg hunt, and as soon as they, you know, rang the bell or blew the air horn or whatever they do to get the kids going, every kid went off like a wolverine on a bender. And my kid is sitting there just watching it happen, and then slowly walking over, you know, like a sloth and finding one egg and slowly putting it in their basket. And I'm like, hey, you gotta run around. You're not gonna get anything. And they didn't care about getting anything. No, but they're happy with one thing.
SPEAKER_00Yes. I think it's exactly that, right? Or uh, you know, um, I know for me, I have, you know, my oldest is dancing to the beat of his own drummer in a lot of ways. And post-high school, he decided not to go to college like everybody else did. And there's one part of me that was like, yes, I think that's exactly, you should do exactly that. And then there was this other part of me that was handed down by my parents, by society, by a whole other, you know, that would told me that that was not the way that was supposed to go, and that I should be doing something to have this young adult do something different than what he was trying to listen to himself doing. And I've had to really look at that and challenge myself in that and have my own growth in that to be like he's finding his path. Let him do that. Like that's what needs to happen. And part of me was able to do that, and part of me was judging that, and part of it was like quite the thing. And I he's doing great, and he he's he's has a satisfying life that he really likes, yeah, and he's a lovely human, and you know, he's 23. Who knows what I don't know where that's going, but it's going to prison, Tracy.
SPEAKER_01That's where it goes. All the way.
SPEAKER_00And if it does, I will judge myself harshly.
SPEAKER_01Oh, well, see, I'm just joking, of course, at least 50% joking. I wanted to say that I have met this person in real life, and you know, one of the things that we do to ourselves is not only do we have expectations for the kid that are reflections of our expectations, expectations for ourselves and what we think it should look like, which is a reflection of what we think others are gonna think. And when you told me that he was not going to college and he was going to pursue an alternative path or paths, having met him, I said, Oh, that's cool. Like I thought that that's totally on brand, totally makes sense. And it was not, I didn't have the slightest thought of, oh, you have screwed up, Tracy. This kid is really needs to be reined in. You really need to put the clamps down and start making threats. So, so that's a whole nother piece of it, is that that people, you don't even really know how people are seeing your parenting based on the kids' uh choices. And some parents, you know, I've been to playgrounds. Yes, you know, I've done that. Yeah, I've seen kids. So yeah. Some kids are bums. You know it's not the parents' fault. You blame the parents if they can't like keep the kid from sure messing up everyone else's day. Sure. But that's a different problem. Sure. That's a whole different problem. That's not what this show is about.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_01But, you know, some kids are bums. You know, and and that's they're no good.
SPEAKER_00It is like a parent's fault. You know, like it's so interesting. Like, every kid has their own because you do, you look at those kids, and and you've been, you've, you're a parent of adult children. I'm a parent of adult children, and I've seen so many of the kids they grew up with grow up. And you meet those kids when they're three, four, five, seven, eight, whatever, and you're like, oh, that kid is struggling. Oh, that kid's having a hard time. Oh, that kid has a lot to learn, you know, in a lot of ways. And then you meet them in their 20s, and you're like, oh, look at you. You grew into yourself.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Right. And you know, you're like, oh, I remember you at five, like, you know, shoving everybody down on the playground and just being so challenging to be around and parents trying so hard.
SPEAKER_01And you know you have a face tattoo.
SPEAKER_00Exactly, but you like it. And, you know, and and you work as a tattoo artist. Right. And it works for you, and you found a path, right?
SPEAKER_01We found a path.
SPEAKER_00And I love that. Right.
SPEAKER_01And I I understand. That is that is true.
SPEAKER_00You know, and or some kids just struggle and they didn't go down a path that worked out well for them. And and you have sadness about that.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_00Right. And you're like, oh, that must be so hard to be that kid's parent because you did all the things you knew how, and it still went sideways. And that's got to be incredibly hard. I'm gratefully not the parent of those kids. But you know, that that's so painful when that happens. And I think going back to the favoritism piece, like I I love what your mom did. What I used to do when my kids were little, and I coach other parents to do is I say, I said to my kids, I was like, you know, um, you know, we all have hearts that are as big as they need to be for all the people we care about. And each person for me has a spot kind of like a cookie cutter shape that's shaped just like them, that's not shaped like anybody else.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And so that cookie cutter spot, like your brother can't fit in there because it's yours shape. Right. And you can't fit in your brother's spot because that's his shape.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_00And so it's just like I know I don't love you the same because you're not the same people.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And what I used to say to my kids too, which they remember, they'd be like, that's not fair. And I was like, ooh, see, I wasn't going for fair. I was going for what was the right thing for you and what was the right thing for him, and those are different things. Right. So I just kind of like undercut, I was like, oh, that's not an expectation.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_00Like it's not going to be exactly fair. I'm not saying I love you the same. I'm saying, of course I love you differently because I couldn't possibly. And I think when we go around that, then we can say it authentically.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Right.
SPEAKER_00Because if we're a parent who in our head is like, yeah, you are harder than your brother. And you're like, you don't love me the same. And you're like, that's true in your own head, right? By the time kids get to, I think it's around seven, they can read inauthenticity. And so when we say things to them that are inauthentic, they can read it and they don't believe us. Right. So we want to think about ways we can say things that are authentic. So if we're never saying I love you the same, and we're saying, Of course I don't love you the same. I love you because of you. You're your shape.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_00And I love your brother his shape. I couldn't possibly love you exactly the same because you're different people.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I mean, that's it's so elegant in a in a intellectual sense because it's simple. It's true.
SPEAKER_00Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_01The kid can understand it.
SPEAKER_00Yep.
SPEAKER_01And I'm going back again and doubling down on it's true. Yes. You're making clear exactly how you think about them, and you're reinforcing their individuality as a human being, and you're not making your love conditional upon them meeting some sort of uniform standard that all the kids, you know, have to meet. Exactly. My parent, and my dad in particular was always wondering why I was not like the other kids.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And so, you know, that's that's one of I think one of the byproducts of that kind of thinking is that, well, why would I be like why would any of us be like each other?
SPEAKER_00Well, and I think it helps get in the way of the competition too. Um, because you're like, oh, you're not competing with them. There's there is no competition.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_00Right. Of course there's some. I mean, it's inherent, right? All the things. But I think as parents, if we can come in, I also think it lets us off the hook. Because if at different times, because I know with my kids, and I would think with yours too, at different times based on where they were developmentally or what was going on for them, or what was going on with me in my life and all different things, then um like there one kid was easier than the other at different times. And that ebbed and flowed based on what was going on with them and what was going on with me. Um and so it it gave me permission to have that be okay.
SPEAKER_01Yes. Yeah, no, I really, really like that. And and that's something I think that's advice that people can implement without, you know, reading a ton of books or going to hours of therapy. My first kid was easy, at least in the sense that they didn't create trouble. They wanted to please so classic firstborn. But later on, you know, the fact that they were internalizing a lot of things and just, you know, the Easter egg thing was a good story, but I had to learn who they were as a kid and realize that was okay. I actually had to say, Oh, they're not like me. Right. But that's okay. Yeah. The second one was a lot more like me in some ways, but she was uh very stubborn and headstrong. And I remember uh she was just a little kid, she might have been five or six, and she was just being so stubborn about something. And I said, you know, I really like this quality. It's gonna serve you well in your life, just not now. Because she feels to this day that she was treated differently than the older one. But it makes sense using this rubric of whether, you know, the kid that perceives that they were treated differently, even if they weren't, even if they got as much attention or more, even if they got as much love or more, if they feel they were treated differently and were not as favored, that's what creates the collateral damage.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And I looked up some of the things. Kids who believe they were disfavored suffer more mental health consequences, and it's that their perception that they were treated differently is a stronger predictor than almost any factor measured in studies, including their employment, their age, marital status, all these things that would influence your mental health as an adult. The perception that they have of being the unfavored child in a family is one of the strongest predictors of the struggle they're having now.
SPEAKER_00That makes a lot of sense to me. Because when we look at all of that, what kids need to feel, what we all need to feel, but kids in particular as they're growing, they need to feel a sense of belonging. They need to feel a sense of I'm a part of this group. I belong in this family, I am loved and cared for for exactly who I am. And if you feel like you are not the favored child or that you're being treated differently, then you would feel less a sense of belonging in that group and that you would have had to fight to be seen for who you are or whatever. So that would um impact your self-concept, which then impacts how you see yourself, which impacts the choices you give yourself and how you see friendships and relationships and um and that impacts us for a long time.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Yeah, it's really, it's really um, I was really fascinated to see that. And and in the sense that it I think it's in parents, um, it's important for parents to understand that it's less about what they're doing, it's how the kid is perceiving it. So if a kid says that they're feeling that they're disfavored, it shouldn't be just, oh no, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I was about to say exactly that. I think one of the things that parents do a lot of times, that there's a real misstep, is when a kid says, You're treating me differently. The parent says, No, I'm not. I gave you the exact same, they start proving why they didn't, versus saying, Oh, that's a really hard way to feel.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00That must that's really tough to feel that way. That must really sit in your body like that. Oh, man. Yeah. That's so tricky. Would you like a hug?
SPEAKER_01And then they'll say, Well, why? Why can't I be treated the same as the other kid?
SPEAKER_00And you say, Oh, so you're feeling like you're really treated differently. Tell me more about that. Where do you notice that?
SPEAKER_01Well, for one, these shackles.
SPEAKER_00Right. And you're like, Oh, so you're feeling like if both of you had shackles. On that would feel better. Right? I mean, it's really reflective listening. Yeah. Right? It's the classic stuff. If if people have young kids and you haven't read How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk, please do. It's a classic. Okay. It's so good and out there. And then another one that helps with this kind of thing is the Tina Payne Bryson and Dan Siegel series of books that starts with the whole brain child, um, drama-free discipline, like all of that stuff. It's um their books are so good and give scripting for a lot of this stuff that helps um kids. And then um for tweens and teens, I really like Lisa Damore. She just wrote The Emotional Lives of Teenagers, um, and she wrote Untangled for Tween Girls. Like, and she has a great podcast called Ask Lisa, but more of that stuff around that scripting and how to think about that and how to talk to kids around that. Um, because it really is parents will want to prove to the kid why they're not being treated differently, right? Versus just be like, you feel like you're being treated differently.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's a real trap to to to buy into that. And I don't know where that came from. I really don't know what when we started saying we love everybody the same. I don't know how long this has been going on. I don't know if parents have always said that. I think when my everybody was working on a farm, they didn't have a like they had kids to work.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_01That's why they had kids. You're gonna go out there and do something with a pig.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_01You know, you're gonna go out there and chase a cow.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_01You're gonna go out and get another pig. It was just pigs and cows.
SPEAKER_00It was only that.
SPEAKER_01And then sometimes an ear of corn would mix in the hay baleing.
SPEAKER_00Chicken here or there.
SPEAKER_01You could tell I did not do this, but but they had kids to work, and I don't know if this topic would ever come up, but maybe it would.
SPEAKER_00Who knows? But I think those kids still felt the things, they just didn't talk about them.
SPEAKER_01So here's a question.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_01If and I like everything you presented, and thanks for listing those references because people can look those up. But I'm wondering, let's say you're you have kids at home, um, and you're and everything seems to be going great.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Kids are not saying anything about, hey, I'm not being treated fairly. In fact, you're telling you, what a loving family. And I'm so lucky to have you as parents. And gosh.
SPEAKER_00What is the Stepford family you're describing?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, but anyway, let's assume that things seem okay. All right. Should parents address it anyway investigate this?
SPEAKER_00Oh, I wouldn't say do you ever feel not treated fairly, but I would, from the time they're little, talk about um there's a there's also a great book called Siblings Without Rivalry that's written by the same people that do um how to talk so kids will listen and listen, so kids will talk. There it's great. And it talks a little siblings without rivalry and it talks about the same, I can't remember the authors right now, but you can look it up. Um I think I really love just bringing things up to kids and saying things like, Do you know that my heart and all of us have hearts? Like, describe it. Do you know that there's a cookie cutter? Like from the time they're tiny, right? Do you know that you're the shape right here? You're right here in my heart, this shape.
SPEAKER_01You're sending up the concept for literally.
SPEAKER_00And do you know that your other parent, mom, dad, whoever is that shape, and grandma and aunt so-and-so, and your brother, and I have shapes for all these people. What shapes do you have in your heart? Who, who, who's in there? What shapes are they?
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_00Right? And so you're setting up the concept from the get-go, so you're not coming in behind it so much. And you have shapes for your friends at school and for your teacher. Like we have all these shapes. Look how big our hearts are. They're big enough for all those shapes. I want, he got four grapes. I want four grapes. You're like, oh, is it important? Do you have the exact same number? Right?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um, oh, that feels important to you as kids are learning about playing games and winning and losing, and you know, how to be a good sport and how to enjoy all of those things. This is all relative to it because it's a scarcity idea. Like, I need to have the same amount as someone else, or what?
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_00Right? Um yeah, grapes are delicious. You want to have four also? Let's count them out. Right? He got two more. That's true. His body needed those. Right. Right. And like, oh, do you want to count? Yeah, how many goldfish do you have? You're counting. You have different numbers. I want the same. Well, you have different.
SPEAKER_01You would have been so helpful uh uh in our family as we were growing up. Because it was kind of a Lord of the Flies.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01It was, you know, well, we'll see if you survive.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. I mean, get in there.
SPEAKER_01You can you better be different. You better be strong. You better stand out. There's only a limited amount of food.
SPEAKER_00Totally.
SPEAKER_01Um, but oh, that would have been so helpful. Yeah, because I think, you know, I think we all believe that we were competing with each other. Yes. And it's taken us decades to get around that. And, you know, we still get a little crazy when at the dinner table. Sure. Even as adults, we kind of look around, we kind of look at everybody, we size up the how much food is available, and then you know, we're two clicks from scrumming over the food, you know, like knocking each other out.
SPEAKER_00I don't think that's uncommon. And I think parents a lot of times don't know what to do with that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And it's not actually I mean, it's it's not easy, but it is simple.
SPEAKER_01Well, this has been really great. I really appreciate you um being here today to talk about this topic because I think it's interesting. It's an interesting thing. It's it's sort of like always a little joke, oh, mom liked you best, or I was always the black sheep in my family, whatever people say. And and and maybe, you know, maybe it was meant in humor, but I think a lot of times people don't feel like they were loved the same way. And I think it's something that parents don't think about. If they do think about it, they don't talk about it in a way that's helpful. And you've very quickly just laid out a really nice simple way for parents to talk to their kids and to create a a, you know, a structure for them where they can think about how it works. How because you're not only teaching them how you love them individually, but you're teaching them later in life, you know, you know, your value is not going to be the same to everyone in in exactly the same way.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Because that's the truth.
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_01Because guess what? In the real world, right, you might not even be a cookie shape in somebody's heart.
SPEAKER_00Right. Even if you want to be.
SPEAKER_01You might want to be a cookie shape, and they're saying you're not a shortcut. No, thanks, you're certain you don't fit there. You're not a cookie and you have no shape.
SPEAKER_00No, nothing. No shape, no cookie, you are nothing to me. And they have to be like, oh, okay.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, they have to realize like that's okay too.
SPEAKER_00And that is fine and painful at the same time.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, but but it's less about their you being less than. Yes. It's not about that. And that's such an important lesson for people to learn. And we're such in a hurry, I think, to make kids feel good all the time and protect them.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_01And we actually end up setting them up for uh hardship sometimes.
SPEAKER_00I think so.
SPEAKER_01Well, thanks very much for being here. And thank you everyone for listening to this episode. We'll do a few more of those.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01If you don't mind. I'd love it. Come back and do some more. Um, and you know, if you're out there and you're listening to us and you say, Oh my goodness, these guys are doing new episodes, uh, feel free to contact us via email. The emails in the show notes, and let us know your thoughts about what you're hearing. We always enjoy hearing from you, and we hope you will tune in to another episode because whether you are a kid who sucks at Easter egg hunting or just someone who has no cookie shape, it's important to remember that we all smell like humans. Goodbye, everybody.
SPEAKER_00Bye.
SPEAKER_01Uh, sexy.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it's very moody. It's very moody.
SPEAKER_01It's okay for me right now.
SPEAKER_00It works for me. I'm not looking at anything except Ross, and I love mood lighting on Ross.
SPEAKER_01I'm much better with dim lighting.