SPEAKER_01 0:00

It was me getting into the water, and I'm like, I'm not in all the way. And then it's going, okay, let it go. Let it go. Like two attached buoys just float from there.

SPEAKER_00 0:11

Welcome to another episode of Smells Like Humans. This is the podcast where we explore the curious things that people do, the very human things that grab our attention, and cause us to wonder what and why. I'm Ross, your host. Today's guests are my wise and sagacious friend Amy. Hello, Amy.

SPEAKER_02 0:35

Hello. I'm going to look up what sagacious means.

SPEAKER_00 0:38

And my charming friend Rob. Hello, charming Rob.

SPEAKER_01 0:42

Hey Ross, just hang on. I have to look up what sagacious means.

SPEAKER_00 0:47

I'm laughing. Today we are focusing on our relationship with clothing. Much has been written and said about clothes, and we've heard these old sayings like the clothes make the person and dress for the job you want, not the job you have, and so on. Some research actually shows that clothes can affect the way you feel about yourself and the way you feel about others. But some other things we know is that clothes can be expensive. Styles go in and out all the time. There's different rules about when you can wear things. We also know that humans are exploited to make some of the clothes we wear. We buy new things that we almost never wear, and we hold on to old, ratty things that we like for all kinds of reasons. So clearly, our relationship with clothes and by association, our bodies is complicated by personal, social, and economic factors, just to name a few. So, Amy, yes. If we went into your closet right now, that would be weird. But if we did, how many items could you get rid of right now and never miss? Just uh just guess, guesstimate.

SPEAKER_02 1:59

I would say right now, there I mean, I love all my clothes as part of the problem. They are all very dear to me. I'm looking around at them, and there's I would say there's probably a trash bag full that I could I could say these this either doesn't fit, I don't really wear it, or uh so I'm holding on to some for some sentimental reason.

SPEAKER_01 2:24

So what is what is a trash bag full? I I need a percentage because that means nothing to me. I gotta have a percentage.

SPEAKER_02 2:30

Um I'm gonna go. I could probably uh like 10% would be a huge amount of clothing. There's a lot of clothing.

SPEAKER_01 2:38

Oh wow, all right, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:39

Um, but yeah, like a hefty bag. I would say a hefty bag. If I were if you were really like you must get rid of things now, I could probably lose a hefty bag of clothing.

SPEAKER_00 2:50

So you could you could fill a hefty bag and with items and you wouldn't miss them a week from now.

SPEAKER_02 2:57

I wouldn't. Okay. It's a bad thing.

SPEAKER_00 2:59

That's pretty good. That's pretty good. Rob, how about you?

SPEAKER_01 3:03

Uh that I'm attached to, we're gonna say 90% can go. Now I've got some like ironic t-shirts, some t-shirts that really speak to me. Like, I'll keep those. Everything else can go. But that being said, I don't buy clothes very often. Like, I will wear a pair of underwear until the elastic like just rips or you know, or something hangs out, it's not supposed to. And even then, I'll hang on to it. So um, but like if if I had to get rid of everything I I could, I I don't know. I I'm not attached to my clothes as others.

SPEAKER_00 3:36

So, Amy, you sound like you're a clothes person, and Rob, you sound like you're not particularly a clothes person.

SPEAKER_02 3:42

How about you, Ross?

SPEAKER_00 3:44

I would say I I have a um interesting relationship with clothes. Um I I have an uh uh ambivalent relationship, I guess you could say. I think I could go into my closet, and I do this all the time. In fact, I've got a bag of stuff right now that I'm gonna be donating that I just edited out of my closet. But I know that I can go back in there right now and easily find 10 or 20 more items, shirts, pants. Uh, definitely there's some hiking boots in there that I do not need. They're worn out. There's no reason for them to be in there. Um, but they're in there, so I could get rid of them and and probably easily uh 10 shirts that are just sitting there for some reason. Um, but I've uh never really cared about clothes. Um I it was never really important to me until people kept telling me that I I needed to care about them. And um when at one point my family moved from the east coast to the west coast, and there was lots of culture shock for all sorts of reasons. But on the east coast, we had school clothes and play clothes. And the only way I could tell them apart is I went to a Catholic school, so I had to wear a uniform. So those are my school clothes, that was easy. Play clothes, anything else. Anything else was play clothes that I didn't have a vast wardrobe as a child, right?

SPEAKER_01 5:18

And and so that's what about uh what about church clothes?

SPEAKER_00 5:21

Yeah, there was like a church, there were church clothes, there weren't a lot of those, but we had did wear like little there's pictures of me wearing these little uh old man sports jackets. Um they're so funny because they're like those loud, ridiculous jackets that the older guys like to wear uh around the cruise ship or whatever, and uh there I am in them. Not sure where they came from, probably were found.

SPEAKER_02 5:48

Probably some little old man.

SPEAKER_00 5:50

Yeah, it's just little old man clothes. That's where I used to shop. That was the name of the place. So I uh so we moved to the West Coast, and I'm planning to use my same dressing system, which is school clothes, play clothes. So I go out to play one day with some neighborhood kids, and this is in LA, and a kid walks up to me that I don't know. Of course, I don't really know anybody because I'm new, but he walks up to me and he kind of looks me up and down, which was weird because we're all like 12 years old or less. And the kid says, Okay, why are you wearing those pants with that top?

SPEAKER_03 6:33

Oh my.

SPEAKER_00 6:35

And I'd never been asked such a question in my life, and I didn't know what to say. I I had no answer, and it was the first time I've started to become aware that fashion was something that was important to somebody.

SPEAKER_01 6:51

Also, kids are jerks, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:55

Well, it was just a strange thing to hear as a kid that your clothes mattered. And I just it for me, it was never did something go with something. That was never even part of the equation. And uh, but what about you guys? Did you ever have any clothes trauma growing up?

SPEAKER_02 7:15

That story actually reminds me of being 12 years old, and I was uh, what do you call it, trying out for cheerleading? And a couple of days before a friend of ours um had, I think they had a 15 or 16-year-old daughter, and they had given us a trash bag probably full of clothing, which I was super excited about. Right. And I'd gone through this bag of hand-me-downs, and I'd picked out to me, like getting a big as a child, there was not a lot. Uh, I remember like I sewed my mom's clothes up, like her one of her skirts I hemmed up to be a shorter skirt when I was probably 15 years old. Because there just weren't clothes, there weren't a lot of clothing, which I think is part of the reason. I think this is I'm I'm currently sitting in some sort of traumatized zone of collecting clothing to to uh amass for cover for childhood trauma. But anyway, so I got in this big bag.

SPEAKER_00 8:10

I think that's actually a thing that we do, yeah. Not just with clothes, but with other things too. We like try to fill that hole.

SPEAKER_02 8:16

I think so for sure. And I think for the very reason that you're pointing out, like, I don't think I thought about clothing in the same way. Like, I was excited to get clothes, but they were just clothes. It didn't matter to me what brand name they were or what they looked like. It was just that I had something different to wear. It was novel, probably. So I chose a plaid skirt, which seemed like a thing cheerleaders wore, and some kind of a t-shirt that I wore. And I arrived at school to do these cheerleading auditions, or you don't call them auditions, you call them tryouts. And my mom was there and she looked me up and down and said, What are you wearing? And I because I thought I looked cute. Like I thought that I had chosen something that was really attractive and and that was gonna get me noticed in the cheerleading. Uh, I was also like six feet tall, and uh there were like my legs were very, very long at this point, and the rest of me. So it was a whole situation with the clothing, but uh, I was not chosen for cheerleading. I blamed my outfit for the uh having not been chosen because I don't think I was as cute as I thought I was, and I lost my confidence when my mom sort of pointed out that I was not dressed appropriately. She thought the clothes were old and kind of grungy, which I had made no notice of, of course. So yeah, definitely that that for sure pops to mind.

SPEAKER_00 9:39

I'm sure there are others. I've got a couple of questions about your mom here. Didn't she know what you were going to planning to wear? How did she see you for the first time at the tryouts? What's she doing at the tryouts part week?

SPEAKER_02 9:52

I don't recall why my mom was at school. So I was in sixth grade at the time. And she may have been on the supporting supporting her daughter? Perhaps, but I didn't know when we had arrived separately. Like I we we lived very near the school and I had walked over from our house.

SPEAKER_00 10:08

You each had your own motorcycles.

SPEAKER_02 10:10

We each had our own motorized scooters, of course. I must have gone home after school and dug into this bag of clothing, chosen these items, and then walked back to the school for the tryouts, which were like at 3:30. That's my own. I mean, it was 12 years old.

SPEAKER_00 10:25

You don't want to hear that right before you're going to put yourself out there. Cheerleaning, that sounds to me like a very socially risky thing to go out for. For sure. You're putting yourself out there saying, Look at me, I can do this. And you were doing the best you can to approximate the attire. And you can't help but that you're six feet tall and five feet of that are just legs.

SPEAKER_02 10:50

It's true. I couldn't. I tried.

SPEAKER_00 10:53

Do you think your mom was saying, had your mom ever seen your legs before?

SPEAKER_02 10:58

Yes, I think she had. I think she was embarrassed that I was wearing something that was old. And because my mom made clothing for me, and that that was one of the things, and that may have been part of it. That maybe I had gone to this like store-bought section of things. I'm not sure exactly, but she did not approve.

SPEAKER_00 11:20

Wow. Wow. So okay, yeah, Rob.

SPEAKER_01 11:25

My story is a lot like Ross, but it's gonna bring me to tears. Uh so like we get some Kleenex because I might join I might join you with Yeah, use one of those uh, you know, t-shirts from your closet. So um I was I had switched much like Ross has I had switched uh school systems. It wasn't like across the world, but I switched school systems and I started in like a more upscale uh, if you would, um county versus where I was before. We were kind of backwoodsy there. And my favorite thing ever in the world was a Star Wars, and I was a little chunky, chunky kid, and uh and the shirt that I wore all the time was a tank top. It was Han Solo on Hoth riding a Tauntaun, like in a snowy background, and it was like a cream shirt, right? Oh, I was the best. So I wore it to school because it was my favorite. And this kid was like, you know, he was the popular kid. And so what do popular kids do? They keep people down so they can stay on top. Right. So he made fun of me in front of everybody, called me uh a nerd, and made fun of my flabby arms hanging out of the tank tank top. I got home, I just lost it. Like I was in tears. I tore up, I tore off the shirt, threw it across, never wore it again, never worn a tank top again. Uh I would love to have that tank top now. Like that thing is probably worth cons of money. Uh if an adult version of that, I might wear it now. But I but I I haven't I haven't really worn a tank top, like just by itself, maybe like underneath the shirt or something. But man, I remember I cried forever and I was that's when I that's when like body image issues popped in my head. I'm like, oh wait, I'm fat, you know, and it was just like ah, it was so sad. Looking back, I would be like crying for that kid. Right now I'm just pissed.

SPEAKER_00 13:22

Yeah, no, I can hear it. No, that really, I mean, that's it's horrible that that's how we start getting that information, is from other kids who ought to be on our team, right?

SPEAKER_01 13:32

Right.

SPEAKER_00 13:33

Uh, but they're not.

SPEAKER_01 13:34

It's us versus the world, but apparently not. Doggy dog world. Yeah, I was so oh man, it was so sad. I'm so sad to miss that shirt though.

SPEAKER_00 13:41

Yeah, no, I I I totally get it. And, you know, my mother had all these ideas about clothing that were never completely explained, but one of them was I was not allowed to have tennis shoes until I was older when she was convinced that my feet had formed or something. She was afraid that tennis shoes didn't provide the arch support that I that a growing boy needed. So that was again You know what?

SPEAKER_01 14:13

I think again, it's because you had 75 brothers and sisters, and if everybody's wearing tennis shoes, you can't catch anybody. So if they're like wearing those wooden shoes or whatever you wore, like that keeps you keeps you nice and slow. There he is! You can't do that if you're wearing tennis shoes.

SPEAKER_00 14:34

Yeah, you can hear them much better as well. She she had us all in swim fins so fast. So um, so on the east coast, for whatever reason, be it didn't matter, no one cared that we were wearing what came to be known as dress shoes, I think. We actually called them hard shoes. But um, but nobody seemed to care. But again, in LA, that was really weird to be out playing, and you'd be another all the other kids, of course, had all kinds of tennis shoes, and uh to have no tennis shoes really kind of was one more thing that made me weird, along with the eastern accent that I had at the time, which I've mostly lost, but everything. So um, so one day uh a friend of mine and I, we just started getting into skateboarding, but I mean just later on. We would we would do we'd go the whole skateboard thing for a while, but early on we were just barely learning how to do it. And I lived on this really steep hill, and there was a sidewalk, and we got the idea that we could go down the entire sidewalk at a really fast speed on our bellies. So we'd lie down on the skateboard and we'd just go. And whenever we needed to turn or slow down, we'd you know, we'd we'd drag our foot, you know, to to steer or break. So I had just gotten these new dress shoes that also were my play shoes to keep my feet in tip-top condition, and you know, in the course of doing that game, riding down the skateboard down a steep hill for a couple hours, I wore out the toes in both of my new shoes. So yeah, completely. Like you could see the socks through them. So as this was happening, I was aware of it, but because I have impulse control issues, I just kept doing it anyway. Like I knew I was gonna be in trouble. And at that point, it's like, well, I'm gonna be in trouble anyway, so I might as well keep having fun. So eventually I come home, my mother sees that there are these big holes in my new shoes, and she says, How did that happen? And for whatever reason, I felt compelled to not tell the truth because I did not want to be implicated. So I said, I don't know, which I know she didn't believe, but at the same time, she didn't, she couldn't figure out how I did it. And so she takes me to back to the shoe store. And this is back at a time when you would go to a shoe store and there'd be somebody, usually a guy in a suit, but somebody who would like sell you the shoes and they'd measure your feet and you'd walk around and they would say, Yeah, it's a good fit. So we go back to the guy who sold us this pair of shoes. My mother is like, these shoes are defective.

SPEAKER_03 17:43

Oh boy.

SPEAKER_00 17:44

And the guy is like beside himself because he's has no, he's just looking at these giant holes in these new shoes, and he's like, How what were you doing? You must have been doing something. I said, just walking. So so he says he says, Show me how you were walking. So I do this thing where walking and dragging each foot behind me one at a time, like in this very strange like step drag, step drag thing. And I know everybody that's witnessing this does not believe me at all. Like they know this kid is making this up. But something about the combination of the fact that I was totally playing this part, like not me, no, this is just what happened. I don't know anything. My mother being angry and the salesman probably just wanting to get on with this day. He gave me a new pair of shoes.

SPEAKER_01 18:46

Oh wow. So, what did you learn from this uh episode? Lying pays.

SPEAKER_00 18:53

Um yeah, unfortunately, um that that for a while that was my my strategy for when I would get in trouble. I would just act like I just don't know how this how this could have happened. What a mystery. Life is just filled with unexpected developments. I think the most important thing, and I want to check this out with you, I feel like the most important thing is that you're wearing clothes that that meet the expectations of whatever role you're in at the moment. That's more important than what actually what the clothes are or how fancy they are or how good they are, whatever. So if you are going on an airplane trip and the pilot gets on in a clown suit, that doesn't work, right?

SPEAKER_02 19:38

Yeah, that's fair.

SPEAKER_00 19:40

Yeah, great.

SPEAKER_01 19:41

I wouldn't get on the plane, I'd be in a I'd be in a greyhound bus station.

SPEAKER_00 19:45

Yeah, right, right, right, right. Um, that's that's a clue that something's amiss.

SPEAKER_01 19:50

So I have one of those jobs that I have to wear a suit all the time, like the whole like the jacket and the tie and the whole business.

SPEAKER_00 19:58

Right.

SPEAKER_01 19:59

And and I'm outside, right? And so I'm walking through neighborhoods and it's in the middle of summer and it's still chunky, and it's like 100 degrees, and I'm in a suit, and I'm showing up at people's houses, and the sweat is just pouring off me. And they're looking at me like, why are you wearing a suit? You know, and it's just like trying to be professional. But it's it's the worst. Wearing clothes when you don't need to is the worst.

SPEAKER_00 20:25

Well, you have uh set me up perfectly for what I want to talk about next, which is that maybe yeah, sweat is also part of it, but maybe the nudists have it right, and that maybe we need to break free from clothes at least some of the time. Like babies and older guys in locker rooms, you know, they know the secret.

SPEAKER_01 20:53

Oh, they're always so naked in there.

SPEAKER_00 20:55

Yeah, they're very naked, but they're very relaxed about it, you know.

SPEAKER_01 20:58

Well, they get in there, and the first thing to do is just get naked and then they do all the stuff. Like they're like, Well, I gotta wash my hands and uh well, talk to Tom, and you're just like, Oh my god, put something on. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 21:09

There's a lot of hands on hips, you know. Just chatting about. So guess what? There are estimated to be 10 million nudists in our country. So that's a lot. Uh, and they believe that everything is better naked. They feel less inhibited, more creative. They take naked, what are called nakations or either being naked at home for a period of days, or they go to naked resorts.

SPEAKER_01 21:44

Well, I don't know. If someone's serving my food, I just don't want to see uh just a unit there next to my plate. I uh there's certain it's not everything is not better naked.

SPEAKER_00 21:58

Let me let me read. You this brief passage that I picked up from an article I was reading on uh naked resorts. This is the quote On a Saturday morning in January, a man stared at his phone as he devoured a plate of fried eggs, while another rode by in a golf cart, munching on a powdered donut. Others gardened, played volleyball, walked dogs, read books. They just happened to be unclosed.

SPEAKER_02 22:31

Wow. Okie dokie.

SPEAKER_00 22:35

Does that sound good?

SPEAKER_02 22:37

Can I tell you my nakedy story? My like so I went to Amsterdam. I took myself to Amsterdam after by uh a lot of fault, what's the word I want to say? Oh like I had a had had a lot of life changes occur. And so I took myself to Amsterdam. And I one of the things I did that while while I was there was I booked a spa day. And I arrived at the spa in Amsterdam, and probably people who travel internationally a lot more than me would know that a spa is a nakety place, and everybody just walks around with no clothes on. So it had like a pool area, there's like a salt pool, and there was a shower space, and then you would go to the spot where you would get a massage later, which is I had booked a massage. But in the interim, from when you arrive to when you get your massage to when you leave, no one wears anything. Like I think people were in flip-flops, and it was co-ed. So I was not prepared for this, but because I was in another country and I didn't want to be the like uptight American, I'm not super comfy being naked nudie all the time. So I go into the locker room and I'm like, I'm just gonna be in, you know, win in Rome. I'm gonna take my things off and I'm just gonna strut around like this doesn't bother me at all. And there was, of course, in the locker room already, like there's just a totally naked man who was probably 115 years old. And he, of course, didn't care that I was there. He didn't care that I was gonna be nude. He didn't care that he was nude. So I was trying to, as casually as possible, get undressed behind the door of the locker. Um, but like I didn't care, but I just happened to have my locker door open and it was blocking some of my nudity. But I did it. I walked around, I sat on the pleather chairs with no clothing on. I jumped in the salty pool, and uh it was okay, but I was very, very conscious of the fact that everyone around me was naked.

SPEAKER_00 24:46

So did you feel uh any more relaxed after a while? Did you feel like it was a positive experience or were you too self-conscious to enjoy it?

SPEAKER_02 24:58

I don't I think I uh it became okay because no one cared, obviously. Like no one was looking at me at all, either way. You know, nobody was uh grossed out or in involved in in my nudity. So I think it made me kind of get over that part of things to be in a space where people are just all nude and men and women are there, and you know, gay and straight, and all the people are just there together, and it's not about your parts hanging out, you're just free, so probably a little bit. I think I'd have to go a lot more often to get truly comfortable, though.

SPEAKER_00 25:41

Oh I know. Let me share another story. This there was a woman who is in this article I was reading, and in her late 30s, she weighed a lot in her mind. It was over 300 pounds. And she said she would go to the beach, and I'm quoting her. She says, I would go to the beach in this giant balloon of a bathing suit and hear people laughing and whispering. So a friend recommended that she go to a nude beach in New Jersey. Yes, they even have nude beaches in New Jersey. And she says, I got the nerve to get in my car and go. And for the first time, no one was looking at me, no one was judging. I knew right then that this, meaning nudity, was for me. So it's this idea of like our clothes sometimes are the thing that's making us feel bad about how we look, what our bodies look like, and just kind of letting that all go and just being naked apparently frees you from a lot of the judgment that we put on ourselves and that others put on us. What do you think?

SPEAKER_01 27:00

I don't know if nudity is for me. Like, I mean, there's times, obviously, that you're gonna be naked, but public nudity, uh boy. Like, so I got another story, more body image things. So go for it. Uh, you know, I um was uh dating this girl, uh, and um she was in a different state, and I would go to visit her on the weekends. And you know, things were getting you know a little hot and heavy. And so then we went to this party uh where everyone the uh you know, we're all having beverages, adult beverages, and uh the suggestion was like, hey, we got a hot tub, and immediately I'm doing inventory of like what I'm wearing. I'm like, I could probably get away with some boxes in a hot tub, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah. Uh apparently it, you know, everybody was on the same wavelength but me that this was gonna be naked time. Everybody is just like, brrrrr, and I'm like, oh boy. So uh I'm and so I'd already agreed to uh hot tub time. So I'm you know, I'm going out there and everybody's getting down to their their their their nothings and they're hopping in, and I'm like, oh boy, okay, so we're gonna do this, we're gonna do this thing, right? And so I'm like, you know, here we go. It's full Johnson time. And so I jump in and I get into the water, and I'm like, okay, okay, I'm fine. I'm fine with this. And I don't know if just my situation is different than a lot of others, but I think I have like a lot of extra skin or something around my my my my testicles and stuff sitting there and they float to the top of the water. No, it's just me. No, it was me getting into the water and I'm like, I'm not in all the way, and they just go, okay, they just go, they just go like two attached buoys just floating there. And so, oh god, what's happening? And everybody looks at them like it's like a beacon, so I immediately go down. I'm like, oh down all the way. I don't care how hot this is.

SPEAKER_00 29:07

But you can't you can't get down because you're just being pulled to the surface by your giant ball.

SPEAKER_01 29:14

I'm sitting there, I'm sitting there, but they are up and floating, like they don't like settle, they're just floating there, and I and I just feel like it's like the telltale heart underneath the floor. It's like Rob, are you having fun? Yeah, I'm having a blast, you know. And it was just I couldn't get it's I'm trying to put my arm on them to push them down, or I'm trying to do this thing where like, you know, sometimes guys are like trying to like uh beef up, you know, oh, this is how strong I am. So they have their arms in front of them. So I'm like doing that. Like I got my arms in front of me, oh look how muscles I got. And I wasn't flexing, I was just trying to keep my balls down. Uh it was so embarrassing. And so even to this day, so we came back. I was like, maybe it wasn't that bad. Maybe I was just being self-conscious, and the girl I was dating going, what was up with your balls? She tells she tells my family this story as a family. So let's speed this along 15 years. I'm now married to a different person. This story still comes up amongst my family, like Rellem the buoy ball story. And I'm like, oh god.

SPEAKER_00 30:23

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 30:24

I and I have not yet ever gone naked in a hot tub or wore a tank top since.

SPEAKER_00 30:30

This that's a it's a funny story, but I also know that it was probably embarrassing. But did anyone like rest a drink on them?

SPEAKER_01 30:38

They're sensitive. No, I no, but it was it was embarrassing. Like it was just once I sank down to the seat, they were just up above where they're supposed to be, just floating like mid-water. It was so oh so embarrassing.

SPEAKER_00 30:52

Hey, if you and I are ever on a sinking ship, I'm sticking with you, man. That's what that's my plan. So here are the different things you can do. Uh, of course, you know, there's the world naked bike ride that we celebrate here where I live in Portland, where thousands of people go commando in a protest against oil dependency, so that you just ride around naked on your bike on a set day. It's canceled this year, unfortunately, but next year I'm sure it'll be back. And uh, you know, there's naked gardening. I know, Rob, you like to garden.

SPEAKER_01 31:28

I do like to garden, but I get dirty when I'm wearing clothes. Like, I just I feel like I'm gonna get some I just don't like it. Like I I just feel like at the end of the day, things are gonna touch dirt that I don't want it to.

SPEAKER_00 31:42

Yeah, yeah. Are those did are did we plant honeydew? Oh no. No. Um so naked gardening, there's a there's a whole movement around and a culture around naked gardening. Um, and I'll be posting notes in the show notes about how you can find out more about this.

SPEAKER_01 32:00

But people also I I also remember hearing about, and and this sounds like a horrible idea. Because when I remember when I heard it, I'm like, mm-mm, who's doing that? Like naked bowling? Like, have you guys heard of that? Well, oh yeah, like why is that a thing? Like, I hate it. I hate that idea too.

SPEAKER_00 32:16

All of these things have in common the same central theme, which is people just feel more creative, more free, and more relaxed when they are out of their clothes. This is what uniformly you see whenever you read about these people. This is one that got my attention. Naked cooking is a thing.

SPEAKER_02 32:36

I think I have heard about that. I feel like there's gonna be splatter, though.

SPEAKER_00 32:40

Well, yeah, they talk about that. They talk about you know, frying bacon is you know high risk. Yeah. Uh but about hairnets. Yeah. All over hair nets. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's called clothing. Um, so yeah, so naked cooking. I was reading an article about that, and they showed like people having a dinner party, so they cooked, and then everybody came naked and ate naked. The whole thing was naked. And there was this uh here's this description of this one uh older fellow who was cooking. It says uh he deftly maneuvered around the kitchen, nearly grazing his belly with a pot of hot water while draining the pasta, wearing only oven mitts. And he yells out, I'm fine. I'm fine, no burn. How about naked cruises? Maybe you can do that. Okay, so we're getting you in that naked cruises. Maybe, maybe I just gotta see how the hot tub and maybe the pool too.

SPEAKER_02 33:45

Is it just hot water or would tepid water do the same thing, Rob?

SPEAKER_01 33:49

Oh, I don't know. I don't, I mean I'm not like a scientist, so I don't want to test the various theories and like how you know. I mean, maybe maybe if it was cold water, it would just sink. Like, I don't know. I don't know how it works.

SPEAKER_00 34:00

Yeah, and I'd I don't I don't know how the naked bike ride would work for you. You'd have to have like a special bike seat, maybe with saddlebags or something. Stuck in the spokes. Ugh, that makes that makes me just um tense up a little bit when I hear that. Um, where do you both stand on the free the nipple movement?

SPEAKER_01 34:22

Oh, I'm 100% behind that. What are we talking about? Coming in what?

SPEAKER_00 34:25

Yes, so the free the nipple movement is uh and and I uh read specifically about in the New York area where it's legal, uh, or at least it was, I don't know if it is today, but I think it was, I think it is uh legal for women to also not wear shirts just like men. And um so they do when they feel like it. But not every state and municipality goes along with that because they make a distinction between men being shirtless, which by the way, was illegal until 1937. That's when men could take off their shirts. But in a lot of places, women cannot do the same. So my question is what's your opinion? Should the should we free the nipple? Should it be equal for everyone to take off their shirts?

SPEAKER_01 35:17

Yes. I think so. I mean, why yes, I'll just I'll say yes.

SPEAKER_00 35:23

You'll say yes. Well, you know, because if everyone did that, it probably uh wouldn't uh be so unusual anymore. But the the reason that is often given against it is that breasts fem the female breast is a sexual organ and therefore it cannot be exposed. Sounds kind of dumb.

SPEAKER_02 35:51

I don't think it's a sexual organ though. You don't have sex with them.

SPEAKER_00 35:56

No, plus as a baby, I mean it's very sort of functional for a baby human to kind of need to eat. That's what it's for. Yep, that's it. There have been people, I think I can't remember on what social media site, but they post because like there are there's rules against posting uh for female posting naked pictures of themselves on some on some of the sites, maybe all the sites. I don't know. I don't know how it works. But what they did in protest is they took uh the pictures of male nipples and photoshopped them on their own breast. And then said, I'm not I'm I love it. Isn't that great? I think it was probably around 13 when you start being interested in nudity and like what do people look like under their clothes. And there was a beach uh in California called Zuma Beach, which was a normal beach, but if you kind of hiked around this point, you could get to a naked beach, which is still is, I think, a naked beach called Point Doom. And so D-U-M-E. Maybe it was Doom A, but we always called it Point Doom because we didn't know anything. So we we a few times we would go, we'd be so excited because we knew we were gonna see naked people. But we were always there were two things that always happened. One, because we weren't naked, we felt like intruders into a world that we didn't belong in. Uh, two, we were smart enough to know, even though we were dumb kids, we were smart enough to know that everybody knew why we were over there. It's like it wasn't like, oh, we just lost our pet hamster, and we're just searching all the beaches. Um, and three again, mostly what was over there were these older guys with their hands on their hips and just kind of walking around little sun, yeah, shooting the breeze, hands on hips, pelvic thrust forward, pelvis thrust forward, and that you know, hi, I'm free and easy and glad to be here. And so none of that was on our agenda. So we didn't do that very many times. So we did do that, and then I think the first human being that I saw that wasn't in my family that I saw at least partially unclothed was when I accidentally sleeping over at a friend's house and accidentally opened the bathroom door when his mom was using the bathroom. Oh boy. So I opened the door, there she was, and she looked so she first her she turned her head kind of like one of those scary dolls in a horror movie to look at me, and she had the most serene look on her face. She never didn't say a word, she just looked so peaceful and just calm and tranquil with this little smile as if to say, Yes, dear, you're having this experience. This is transcendent for you, and you'll never forget it. And it was like, yeah, and then the whole time I was like, now what do I say to her when I see her? Um, but I think, you know, I think the more I've looked into this issue, uh, the more I think the nudist may be may have something going on here about just getting rid of the clothes, like just getting out of clothes, spending some time naked. And so I decided to instead of just talking about it, I decided to experience it. So are you nude right now, Ross? I've done the whole podcast in the nude.

SPEAKER_02 39:46

Are you serious?

SPEAKER_00 39:48

Not a stitch of clothes. I did you not.

SPEAKER_02 39:52

How has it been? Oh, Ross, this is so exciting and weird.

SPEAKER_01 39:57

Wait, are you sitting? Are you sitting on a leather chair? Like, what like what's a chair situation? Like, are you sticking? I feel like you're sticking.

SPEAKER_00 40:05

I'm in a hot tub and I've got a drink resting. That's all I can say. No, I'm sitting in a normal, I'm doing everything normally. I do, I am using a uh uh a towel for my chair because I learned from reading these articles that that's what people do when they do the naked dinner parties. They put a towel down on the chairs as a courtesy for everyone, or sometimes people bring their own towels. But that's it. Yeah, I've and I've and I felt like I was never more relaxed during a podcast.

SPEAKER_03 40:38

Really? That's wonderful.

SPEAKER_02 40:45

And I was you're broken, Rob, but everything else is fine.

SPEAKER_01 40:51

I just okay. Are you crossing your legs? Are you doing the toilet set?

SPEAKER_00 40:55

Like, I I gotta like what are you is uh I'm sitting normally like I would sit in a chair. There's nothing different about being naked that changes your posture. I'm not suddenly rolled up in a yoga ball or something. I'm just I think Rob, you need to spend a little more naked time. I think that's what we've learned.

SPEAKER_01 41:18

Oh boy, the next one next one we do. I'm going to um I'm gonna be naked for that one. I don't know the topic.

SPEAKER_00 41:23

I was kind of half hoping that somehow during this episode, you all you both would have taken off your clothes and we all would have surprised each other by being naked. Oh but um that's my little fantasy. Well, I think this has been an interesting journey. Thank you for joining us for this episode.

SPEAKER_01 41:42

I want to thank everybody's picturing you naked right now.

SPEAKER_00 41:46

And I'm sorry as you wrap it up. I'm sorry for that, but yes, it's we're we're we're free and creative in the world at this very moment. So, Amy, thank you so much for being part of this episode.

SPEAKER_02 41:59

Oh, thank you, Rob. I loved it.

SPEAKER_00 42:01

Great, and Rob, thank you. Appreciate having you.

SPEAKER_01 42:05

Got some bad news. I'm searching the internet and I can't find the Hoth Consolo tank top. Uh I just uh I'm pretty upset about that. If anybody was worried about it, uh it's not out there anymore. Also, thanks for having me.

SPEAKER_00 42:17

Yeah, you're welcome. And we hope you very much hope you will tune in to another episode because whether you are cooking shrimp scampi in the nude or merely wearing a little old man jacket, it's important to remember that we all smell like humans, especially when we're naked. Bye everybody. Put some clothes on.