SPEAKER_05 0:00

Uh, I later found out that it was placenta pate.

SPEAKER_01 0:04

What are you telling me? Welcome to another episode of Smells Like Humans. This is the podcast where we explore the curious things that people do, the very human things that grab our attention and cause us to wonder, why and why? I'm Ross, your host, and today's guests are my favorite regulars. And Rob. Hello, Rob.

SPEAKER_05 0:32

Where are my ladies at? Did I say it right? I feel like I said it wrong. Perfect. Where are my ladies at?

SPEAKER_01 0:43

Just keep checking your phone and see if it works. And welcome to both of you and everyone listening. Thanks so much for spending some time with us today. Please support us, share the show, give us a five-star rating on Apple Podcasts. That stuff really helps. Also, send us encouraging emails, things you want to know about us, shows you want us to cover, topics you want us to talk about. We love to hear from you.

SPEAKER_05 1:08

So patients to subway? Like, I don't know. I just feel like let's let's do small goals. Like I don't think uh Yeah, like let's let's let's start with like some small goals, like uh, you know, two dollars off a meatball sub. I don't know. I'm just throwing it out there.

SPEAKER_01 1:21

I do like a meatball sub.

SPEAKER_05 1:23

I love a meatball sub.

SPEAKER_01 1:24

But you know, I've been eating a lot of fake meat lately.

SPEAKER_03 1:27

Yeah, me too.

SPEAKER_01 1:28

But they you can all if you got the right sauce, you can get away with it. Today's show focuses on how some so-called gender reveal parties have opened up a Pandora's box of mayhem, breakage, bedlam, and even death. Nobody should have to die just because you're having a baby. You guys okay with that?

SPEAKER_03 1:49

Yeah, I've 100% on board.

SPEAKER_01 1:52

We know that many humans who are expecting a child like the idea of creating a party around the concept of revealing the sex of this child to be. And these so-called gender reveal parties.

SPEAKER_05 2:04

Why do you keep saying so-called?

SPEAKER_01 2:07

I'm gonna, I'm gonna I'm almost there.

SPEAKER_05 2:09

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 2:10

I'm so close. These so-called gender reveal parties have been popular since a person named Jenna Carvinitis created the concept in 2008. Now, Q Rob.

SPEAKER_05 2:24

Why do you keep saying so-called gender reveal parties?

SPEAKER_01 2:28

Now, of course, everybody knows that gender reveal is a misnomer since there is no way of knowing where a kid will land on the gender continuum until, you know, the kid comes into the world and lives for a while.

SPEAKER_05 2:42

Oh, fell into it. I fell right into it. Yes, perfect. You're right.

SPEAKER_01 2:46

Nicely done. Beautiful. What is being revealed, actually, of course, is the biological sex that a medical person assigns when looking at an ultrasound image. So I'm just gonna refer to these as reveal parties from this point on. And just in case nobody has ever heard of these, uh, let me just quickly summarize the structure of a reveal party. So the sex of the child is kept from the parents, they don't know what they're having. Um, a close friend or relative works with the medical professional and gets the information. Friends and family are invited over to somebody's house. Sometimes they bring presents, maybe there's a cake, and then there's a reveal. Sometimes the cake, cutting the cake is the reveal. And in the very typical situation, if the assigned sex is female, there are pink things and other stereotypical references. If it's a boy, blue things and boy stereotypes are the norm. And that's why you get these parties that are called guns or glitter parties. Did you know, by the way, that the so-called boy color used to be pink?

SPEAKER_05 4:05

Yes. No, I did know that. I didn't know that at all.

SPEAKER_01 4:10

And and girls used the girl color used to be blue. When did it when did it flippity flop? It flippity flip wait, flippity-flopped. When did it flippity flop? Wow, that is harder to say than I would have thought. Hear you say that again. Nope. Okay. It flippity-flopped, it flippity-jibbetted in the 40s, 1940s. They just decided to to change um the marketing people, people that were selling things said, you know what, it should be this.

SPEAKER_05 4:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:41

We also have probably seen that in the old, old days, boys used to wear dresses too. But things change. But the point is, all of that stuff is arbitrary. But in the stereotypical situation, that's how these parties roll. Now, I guess before I go on, I want to know like when you were kids, did you were you ever aware of people trying to push you in one direction or the other in terms of uh whether you were more conventionally a boy or more conventionally a girl, or did it just sort of happen and you weren't aware of it?

SPEAKER_03 5:16

My mom definitely was concerned that I didn't like wearing dresses more, of the frilly variety, particularly. And I mostly liked going barefoot and climbing up trees, which, if you know anything about a dress, it's not the best way to get up a tree. So what about you, Ross?

SPEAKER_05 5:34

You grew up at a different time.

SPEAKER_01 5:36

Yeah, I grew up. I grew up at a very different time.

SPEAKER_05 5:38

Around the 40s, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_01 5:40

Yeah, right when it flipped.

SPEAKER_05 5:41

Pink was with boys, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:43

It's right when it flippity flibbity-flopped. Um still hard to say. Um I I think it was pretty subtle. Um, I mean, when when I think about it, there was no overt conversations or statements. But I I just I just remember this one time there was a uh a little girl human over at our house. Um, I don't know who she was. She could have been related. I don't think she was, though, maybe somebody's kid. But we were we were playing to get imaginary. There's always we were playing some game, and uh I think we had horses or something, and we were talking as we were horses. So I mean it wasn't really a conventionally or stereotypically boy or girl thing, but we were talking, and I think the the girl said something like, Do you want to come over to my house? She's talking for her horse, and my horse says, Yay. And my older brothers who were listening to this broke out in hysterical laughter and made fun of me for the rest of the day. And so I don't really know what that message was, but what I what I felt as a little kid playing this game is like I was doing something wrong.

SPEAKER_05 6:58

Your horse was super creepy.

SPEAKER_03 7:02

It wasn't girly, it was just weird. Yay, I'd love to go to your house, little girl.

SPEAKER_01 7:11

But you know how it is when you're trying to say something and you kind of get stuck? Sure. And it just takes it gets it's it gets longer than it's supposed to be. Yeah. So I was just trying to say yay, but then it went, yay, it got stuck.

SPEAKER_03 7:25

And then I don't know, but it's better. It's all the same. It's not really better.

SPEAKER_01 7:30

Um, Amy, now it sounds like you were a tomboy.

SPEAKER_03 7:35

A little bit, yeah. Still probably am.

SPEAKER_01 7:37

I was reading an article that that like tomboy is this like accept it's acceptable until you reach puberty or a certain age, and then it's like you can't do this anymore.

SPEAKER_03 7:48

Um, I think even I you know, I I I mentioned my mom a lot, but she was certainly really into sort of what we might call traditional male and female roles, and just try more traditional generally, too. So yeah, I think she really thought the neighbors would not like if I was too much of a uh tomboy. So yeah, I think she felt a lot of uh pressure to keep me more feminine, more yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:17

When's the last time you climbed a tree?

SPEAKER_03 8:19

Oh my god, if I climbed a tree right now, you'd they'd have to call the fire department to come get me. Oh my god, everything would hurt. Yeah, that's right. Sitting in this chair is a little bit difficult.

SPEAKER_01 8:31

I mean, I got a lot of things stacked around me in case I tip over, but wow, wow, and you guys are always breaking bad on me being old. Anyway, Rob.

SPEAKER_05 8:41

Yeah, I mean, I mean, to be clear, you are old, but yes, we also hurt. Yeah, we're old too.

SPEAKER_03 8:48

You're just way older. Yeah, I don't think so.

SPEAKER_05 8:51

I was always clear. I was always um labeled, um, you know, Rob is just he's very sensitive. And like and but the thing is, I was thinking, I was like, was there ever any pressure at home to not cry as much as I did? I don't think so. Like I I never I wasn't um I came from a broken home as everybody does, and um it I didn't really know my father that well, and um, you know, it was there was no pressure from home, like, oh, you're you're kind of feminine or or whatever. I never I never felt that way, except for when I was outside of the home, it was you know, he's just really sensitive. So I don't know. I I did I there was no pressure to be a certain way or anything like that for me.

SPEAKER_01 9:36

I will say that you are sensitive, and I know this. I know this from we used Rob and I used to play a lot of racquetball. And I'm not gonna say long pause. I'm not gonna say uh anything about our relative body sizes, but one of us is bigger than the other one. And when the littler one would run into Rob, just even so slightly, there would be a lot of reaction.

SPEAKER_05 10:10

Maybe the body is just sensitive, like it has nothing to do with emotion.

SPEAKER_01 10:14

I'm not saying who was the bigger one, I'm just saying when the littler one ran into the bigger one, the bigger one seemed very sensitive, and I'm not saying who that was.

SPEAKER_05 10:22

It's because you're a bucket of bones. Like it's just bones inside of a meat sack, and you're you're coming at me with these angles inside your body, and it hurts.

SPEAKER_01 10:31

Well, we all have had kids.

SPEAKER_05 10:33

That's true.

SPEAKER_01 10:34

We've all had the experience of being excited, maybe, about whether the kid was gonna be uh whether their assigned sex was boy or girl, male or female, and then what that might mean to us. And we probably shared it with maybe people close to us, right?

SPEAKER_04 10:50

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:51

Um did you ever wish that you could have a party about it when it was happening?

SPEAKER_03 10:58

I don't think so. I I like being a little contrarian, which is probably why I turned into a tomboy when my mom just wanted me to wear a nice dress. I probably didn't like climbing trees that much, but I I lived in a neighborhood at the time I was having kids where it would have been really popular to have these sort of elaborate, explosive gender reveal, so-called gender reveal parties. And I think just as a contrary, like I'm not doing that. I'm not gonna make a big deal about it. I was very insistent that my kid, my my first child who was assigned female at birth, um, wore a lot of blue and played with trucks by my insistence. And it was really important not to over-emphasize the traditional roles, maybe because of my my experience growing up.

SPEAKER_05 11:48

I never had I never had a desire uh to do it. Like, but the thing is is I I I understand like sometimes people just want to have a reason to have a party, like a birthday party or a celebration. Like it's just another reason to do that. So of course I've had no desire to do that, but I'm not against it.

SPEAKER_01 12:08

Well, uh, here's the thing they've gotten out of hand, and I think I know why. Uh, but before I jump to that, let me just tell you a couple of these, a couple of examples of how they've gotten out of hand. Uh one party uh resulted in a plane crash. A plane was towing a sign that said it's a girl, took a nosedive into a lagoon, two people die. Another one involved uh uh they wanted to have an explosion at the reveal, and it started a forest fire, 23,000 acres burned. Another uh explosive one where they set off some giant bomb uh ignited a fire that leveled forty-five thousand acres in a national forest, resulting in eight million dollars worth of damage.

unknown 13:09

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 13:10

Here it gets worse. The one father, one dad to be in North Carolina shot himself accidentally in the crotch with a handheld colored smoke cannon. Hello. Hope you enjoy the new kid because you're not having more.

SPEAKER_05 13:32

Uh I'm gonna play, I'm gonna play devil's advocate. What's the difference between having a big gender reveal party where you're blowing up something and then you burn a bunch of stuff down, versus in July you're lighting off fireworks, you know, and and and you maybe you go over the border and buy like some some expensive fireworks when they shoot up into the sky and then they land on someone's house. Like it's not really any different than that, right?

SPEAKER_01 13:56

Yeah. Well, I mean, the people kill themselves doing that too. Sure, sure. So anytime there's stuff blowing up, but at least there you have a cover story of it's the 4th of July.

SPEAKER_05 14:09

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 14:10

Um, here's one where this 56-year-old woman was invited as a guest of the parents.

SPEAKER_05 14:17

That's nice.

SPEAKER_01 14:18

She was killed at the reveal party when she was struck with debris launched by yet another wayward explosion, pronounced dead at the scene. Have a nice party. How about this one? This is tragic. Okay. Dad is uh setting up his explosion for the reveal party. He's tinkering with it, it explodes, kills him. Dad is dead on reveal the child's sex day. That's horrible. Last example, last example. Another person invited to the party. They thought they it would be a good idea to shoot off this antique cannon, they packed it full of uh gunpowder, and then it blew up, and the shrapnel killed this innocent person. Oh my gosh. By the way, this is mostly an American problem. I don't think other countries are doing this, and if they're doing it, they're not doing it like this. So, as Rob said, nothing wrong with having a party.

SPEAKER_05 15:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:35

Parties are good. In fact, we probably need more support for newly pregnant couples, especially the moms, especially during the second trimester, or whenever, whenever that is, they they find out the biological sex. Isn't that when it is second trimester?

SPEAKER_03 15:53

Usually, yes, that's about the right time.

SPEAKER_01 15:56

And uh so a party is a good idea. Give the parents some attention, uh, get people together, everyone's excited, and rituals like that are good. So I'm all good with that. And uh, you know, when I when we the first time we got pregnant, uh didn't work. We ended up miscarrying, so it was very stressful. So the second time we got pregnant, um, a problem started almost immediately, and the doctor basically told um my wife that she just had to lay on a couch for her an entire pregnancy.

SPEAKER_05 16:36

What?

SPEAKER_01 16:37

Yeah, so it was super stressful. So it would have been great to have, and that we were away from family at that time. Um so it would have been super cool to have some kind of support party of some kind. I just need to ask something. This is totally random, but Rob, when you were when your child was born, you were in the delivery room.

SPEAKER_05 17:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:02

And I just I can't remember. Are were you a head guy, a business end guy, or Snappy McSnapperson?

SPEAKER_05 17:09

Uh what's snappy? Am I there with like a baseball mitt? Like, come on! What do you mean by snap?

SPEAKER_01 17:14

No, no, no. Um uh like somebody with a camera who's filming it.

SPEAKER_05 17:18

Oh, I see. No, I started off at I started off at the business end, yeah, and then stuff got real. Right. And I decided to retreat to the head end, uh, and those visuals will never leave. So uh just women are strong people. Yeah. So I remember when uh my dear sweet daughter popped out and it was fresh, just fresh out of the oven. And um they they the the nurse passes it to me and I'm holding her for the first time, and here's your beautiful baby girl, and I look down and her eyes weren't uh focused yet, and so she had like chameleon eyes, so like one eye was looking up and one eye was looking down, like they weren't like connected yet. And I was like, Oh my god, I got a lizard baby! Like I freaked out a little. That's a little more than you asked.

SPEAKER_01 18:10

Now, Amy, do you um when you were going through it, did you prefer uh somebody, your partner at the head end, the business end, or did you like the snappy McSnapperson?

SPEAKER_03 18:23

Um, I did not want anyone taking pictures, I can assure you of that. Um, I think uh he did a little of both. He was uh it was very crowded down at the business end, I will say. There are a lot of doctors and tables and trays and that sort of thing.

SPEAKER_05 18:40

So somebody has to somebody has to hold the boom mic. Absolutely, yes.

SPEAKER_01 18:45

Somebody gotta really figure that. My brother's first kid, he was snappy McSnapperson and then mixed the pictures in. Says, hey, I've got some got some new baby pictures. Some of them were a little more clinical than others.

SPEAKER_05 19:01

Yeah. Well, were you up top or down below?

SPEAKER_01 19:04

Oh, I was at the head end from the jump and never left the head end because um I wanted to. I'm great at pretending, and I didn't want anything to interfere with the fantasy that I was gonna have that nobody else had ever been down in that area but me.

SPEAKER_05 19:26

So I got uh I got stuck uh during my sister's uh when she gave birth. I was I was hanging out in there playing cards with them, and uh, and then it happened and I couldn't get out of the room. So where are you playing cards? Just there, right? You know, I'm I like I like board games, and so I was trying to keep everybody uh just you know, don't let's don't think about what's happening. Here's some here's some card games. So we had like that little table that you put food and water on or playing cards, and then it just happened. Like it happened quick, like, oh, this baby's coming out. And I was like, I'm gonna get out of here. But I was like on the opposite side of where I need the the door, and so as I'm as I'm trying to get in there, it's all like it's it's happening. And I'm like, I'm stuck.

SPEAKER_00 20:07

And so I was I was stuck turning my sisters. I still don't understand where you were that they let you set up a card card table. You're dealing cards, you're smoking cigars, you're drinking beer. What where was this?

SPEAKER_05 20:20

This was at the hospital. Like it was just I was just right on the on the I was right next to my sister and uh her husband at the time, and I had uh those at that table there, we're playing cards, and then it just everything escalated quickly. Uh flipping cups later, and then I'm stuck. I'm stuck there, I can't get out. And then so I'm sitting there, I'm sitting there uh during the whole thing, and I was like, oh boy, and I'm not the father, I'm the brother. Why are you here? Because I can't leave. I'm here. And to answer your question, I was at the head end during the entire time.

SPEAKER_01 20:56

I just think it's better. I just think it's better. Um, you know, I don't have I have enough weird imagery in my life. Hey, uh Amy, did you um when you were going through this, did you do the Lamaz training?

SPEAKER_03 21:10

No, I didn't. I did some like I watched videos of breathing and so forth, but I did not do the actual Lamaz, no.

SPEAKER_01 21:17

It's kind of gone out.

SPEAKER_03 21:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:19

Um Wait, it has? Yeah, no, it's not, you know, a lot of people just say, I just want the drugs, man.

SPEAKER_04 21:26

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:27

Like, I'm not gonna breathe through this. There's no way. And let me tell you something. Our first kid, my wife was intent on not using drugs. Going natural, breathing her way through it. And uh after a few hours of that, she's like, Gimme the drugs, give me all the drugs, any drugs you got. I even asked for an epidural. I mean, it was stressful. But I I remember, you know, she was pretty stoic. She didn't do a lot of yelling. Um you know, she was. Definitely occupied and focused, but it was she was pretty held it together. But I remember at one point I stepped out for a breather into the hallway of this delivery ward, and it was like the exorcist. There was so much screaming and cursing, and I don't want to do this anymore. And it was horrifying. I went right back in, right back into the room. Thank you very much. It was a scary place to be. Okay, so reveal parties. Gone bad. I think I've diagnosed it perfectly, but I know you will correct me if you think I'm wrong. But why have these become deadly and destructive over time? They started out very innocently. Very innocently. You cut open the cake, it's a color of some kind, everybody gets excited. So there's a two-part problem. Part one, dads.

SPEAKER_03 22:59

Yep. That's that may be part two and part one, honestly.

SPEAKER_01 23:03

Dads. Okay, so I'm just throwing this out there. See what you think. My reading of dads. I'm a dad. I've been down to dad road. I think some human dads, when they hear about this reveal party, they say something like, uh, there's not much in this for me. I'm not having the baby. Nobody really cares about me in this whole thing. Not really excited about it. And oh, by the way, also, new dads, it's over for you.

SPEAKER_05 23:37

What is that? What does that mean?

SPEAKER_02 23:40

Well, once the kid's there, nobody wants, nobody cares about you anymore. It's over.

SPEAKER_05 23:47

I don't know if that's true. I'm gonna call you out right now. I don't know if that's true.

SPEAKER_02 23:51

Dad, it's over.

SPEAKER_03 23:53

No.

SPEAKER_05 23:54

New dads, if you're listening to this, he's full of crap. Like, that's not true.

SPEAKER_01 24:00

I'm just telling you, doesn't your life change? I'm not talking about, of course, your life changes in a mute, beautiful, and magical and lovely way with your new child.

SPEAKER_05 24:10

That's also not true. I mean, it changes, it changes, but it's not beautiful. Like it's uh, you know, it's work, it's a kid.

SPEAKER_01 24:18

Um, but I'm just there, I know there are some dads out there who have had their first kid and are like, yep, my life is not gonna be the same. And I'm not saying the net isn't better is over though. The whole thing when you were the center of the world in that that or little arrangement, that's now the kid. The kid is the center.

SPEAKER_03 24:38

Right. Yeah. So you shouldn't be anticipating that a whole new human's gonna enter your life and everything's just gonna stay the same, right? I mean, you shouldn't, you shouldn't know that.

SPEAKER_01 24:48

I'm just telling everyone parenthetically who's a new c a new dad, it's over. Okay. So uh my hypothesis is that dads are probably not really into these parties. And I think it's plausible, I hope you agree, that when a dad looks at the proposition of one of these parties, they look to try to, you know, spice it up a little bit. Let's spice things up a little bit. Let me put a little flavoring on this party, make it a little more interesting. Maybe if I've got some of my buddies coming over, it'll make it fun for them. And I think hopefully we can agree that dads, a lot of them, like blowing up stuff. Would you agree with that?

SPEAKER_05 25:32

I concur.

SPEAKER_01 25:36

You're like, okay, I'm going that far with you, but not a step farther.

SPEAKER_03 25:40

Go ahead. No, no, I was just gonna say I hear some hesitation. Go on.

SPEAKER_05 25:45

No, I just I know, I know, being from below the Mason Dixon line, that there are some women out there that also like a good reveal party. Like, let's let's do let's go all out. Uh I feel like that, but I Ross isn't wrong. I can see the dads be like, man, I could I could put some juice on this party. Like I can make it happen, you know? Like an ex it'll be explosive. Like I can see that happening, but I don't think it's all on the dude's shoulders.

SPEAKER_01 26:13

That's probably fair. And and I'm not trying to stereotype it, but I'm looking when I read about all these things gone badly, I notice that uh they never say the mom was trying to blow something up.

SPEAKER_05 26:26

That's fair. But also the mom is pregnant, so she's not gonna get anywhere near this stuff.

SPEAKER_01 26:33

Well, you would hope, but I do know that uh a lot of dads like blowing stuff up, and I know that I like blowing stuff up, and I was the guy in the neighborhood uh who used to get the illegal fireworks and put on my own pyrotechnic show. I was not an expert, but I pretended to be one, and the neighbors would come out to enjoy it or to watch for a fire.

SPEAKER_05 27:00

Boy, I did some dumb things with some fireworks in my day. So I mean, I understand it. I understand what you're saying.

SPEAKER_01 27:07

Did you ever um so when I was a kid, one thing that we like to do is we'd go down to the the hobby and craft store and we'd buy a model, a plastic model that you'd glue together and paint. So we'd get the model, we'd get the glue, we'd get the paint. And we when we were doing this particular activity, we liked to get uh monster models. So classic monsters, creature from the black lagoon, Frankenstein, whatever. And we'd build the models, we'd paint them meticulously, and then we'd set them on a wall and blow them up with firecrackers.

unknown 27:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:44

And that would take a day.

SPEAKER_05 27:46

So one thing that I remember doing, and you can file this under I'm lucky I'm alive. Um, we got some fireworks, and the bottom of a firework is just weights, like it's just a heavy material that keeps it from falling over. So um, you know, there's little stand-up things that you know, they throw some different colors up in the air. Sometimes they'll make a loud squealy noise, whatever. So we took one of those, and so we were doing a like uh it was a fireworks, it was Fourth of July thing, and we saved this one for last. So we scooped out all that filling out of the bottom of a firework, and my friend uh had a bunch of black powder because his dad did like these reenactments or whatever. And so we took out all the filling and they filled it up with this black powder. And so we're up and so we get to the three last one, we light it, it's got two seconds of beautiful uh colors, and then it explodes. I am I mean it was it was like you know, because the but the it was shrapnel, like the bottom part of it without the base on it, that plastic base. So like all the gravel and everything that was around it just shot in every direction. And I just it was it was scary. Like I remember I remember thinking to myself, oh, we messed up, like this was a bad idea. Uh no one got hurt, we got super lucky, but I just I guess you know, you had that inclination as a as a youth. So Ross is right, like I want to blow stuff up.

SPEAKER_01 29:11

We used to play so in Mexico on the beach, you could in in the little towns, you could buy penny bottle rockets. So for a penny, you could buy a mini bottle rocket and it would shoot about, I don't know, 100 feet. But we played uh tag with bottle rockets, which is a lot of fun. So you know, I get it. Amy, did you ever like blowing things up?

SPEAKER_03 29:34

Totally, oh my gosh, yeah. We um most of my neighbor friends when I was growing up, they were all dudes anyway, but we played war a lot, generally, both like us people, but also with like army men. So we definitely melted a bunch of army men on a log one afternoon. Like you said, it took the majority of the afternoon.

SPEAKER_01 29:57

But how do you melt how did you melt them?

SPEAKER_03 30:00

Oh, you have to have some gasoline and a lighter, one of those you have to have be able to like have a sustained fire, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:11

So, so to Rob's point, I'm sure there are people like Amy who also like blowing stuff up, but I think more often than not, the problem is dad doesn't have a role, has to come up with a role, also wants to look cool for his friends, you know, wants to make it fun for his pals, wants to get a little bit of the focus back, because I don't know if I mentioned this previously, but it's over. And so before that happens, it's like, hey, hey, everybody remember me? Uh look at this, boom. So um, that's part one of the problem. Here's part two of the two-part problem, why we have these horrible situations. And by the way, I have a solution, but I'm I'm also gonna want to hear your solutions. But let me tell you about part two. Part two is the advent of social media and our intense desire for affirmation for every damn thing that we do. We want everyone to like us, we want attention, we want our vids to go viral, we want to live in the TikTok mansion. I know Rob does. And so, you know, there's this tremendous pressure to take a private, what used to be a private moment, like a proposal or what you're eating or whatever, and then turn it into an event. It has to be an event because it's now something that you're creating for all of your friends and acquaintances and perhaps the entire internet, depending on how great the event is. So at the bottom of it all, here's my mayhem equation. A lack of a meaningful role for dad plus a high need for social media validation equals death and destruction. Talk amongst yourselves. What do you think?

SPEAKER_05 32:03

I think that uh equation is a little drastic. Like, I think that what the things that you've indicated can lead to that problem, but I don't know that it always leads to destruction and death. You know, these are hap these happen all the time. And you only named like five times that your neighbor a neighbor got killed or dad blew off his junk. Like, I feel like I feel like that you can have these parties, just don't set 23,000 acres of woods on fire. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 32:38

And I just just while we're at a stopping point, how many junks can be blown off before it is a problem? Four junks, six junks, I think.

SPEAKER_01 32:50

I think if it's your junk, I think the number is one junk.

SPEAKER_05 32:54

Yeah, that's enough um for someone to say I'm not I'm not trying to get deep up in this podcast, but I mean, there's a lot of deaths for a lot of different reasons in the US, and that has not curved anything in regards to I don't know. I'm just saying that like a couple junks isn't gonna stop gender reveal parties.

SPEAKER_03 33:18

Oh, for sure. Thousands of acres can be burned and people will just be just fine with it. I'm not wrong about that.

SPEAKER_01 33:25

How many junk? Okay, so thousands of acres, how many six junks? Six junks.

SPEAKER_05 33:31

How many, how many acres equal a junk? Just so that I know the the ratio.

SPEAKER_03 33:36

50,000 acres equals one junk.

SPEAKER_01 33:38

Did you mean acre or hectacre?

SPEAKER_03 33:41

Um, yes. All of all of Canada is equal to one junk.

SPEAKER_02 33:45

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 33:46

Oh well, I think yes, uh, there are lots of stupid ways that people can hurt themselves or die or kill somebody. All I'm saying is it shouldn't be happening at a reveal party. No one should have to die at a reveal party. Yes, if you're jumping out of an airplane and shooting an air cannon at you know, moving target and it goes wrong, okay. That's you would say, well, those are that's just a risky thing. But if you're saying if someone invites you to a reveal party and you know, you come over there with your little present and you know junk protection. Yeah, whatever. You're not expecting like to suddenly be dealing with shrapnel. So I think it's reasonable to try to intervene, and we're just the people to do that. We're just the people to do it.

SPEAKER_05 34:36

How are you gonna fix this problem, Ross?

SPEAKER_01 34:38

Oh, I've got such a great idea. I'm so excited that you asked me. I'm so excited. I I this is such a great idea that as soon as I say it, people are going to run, not walk, and immediately look into this. I because I thought about like what else? Because, like I said, I'm a dad. I like blowing stuff up, so I totally get all that. I like stealing the focus, everybody knows that. So um, I get it. So, what is the alternative thing that dad can do? That's fun, is kind of crazy, makes a lot of noise, but chances are no one loses their junk, not even one junk. And that the answer is rage room, rage room.

SPEAKER_05 35:25

You've said those words, but I don't know what they mean together.

SPEAKER_03 35:29

I feel like I'm in a rage room right now. Wow, what is this room a rage room? I just don't know. Like, what's a rage room?

SPEAKER_01 35:37

Okay, so the rage room, you may have heard of these. I think it started in Japan, but it might have started somewhere else. You pay money uh in the in the conventional way, you pay money, you go into a mock-up of some kind of room and then you smash the crap out of it. Oh, yeah. And the theory was it helps relieve stress. Uh the science on that, the research on that suggests maybe it doesn't, but that doesn't matter. We're not doing it for stress relief. We're doing it for dad. Instead, so you create the you go get one of these rooms, you make it maybe like a mock nursery room, like in a kid room, or a schoolhouse, or a hospital birthing room, maybe put up a card table, you know, with a deck of cards, whatever. And then dad's role is to go into the room and bust the room up until he finds something that indicates the sex of the baby. So the biological sex could be on a tiny piece of paper inside a little tiny plastic baby. The whole thing could be timed, the whole thing could be filmed, it could be posted. Dad's going nuts, he's got breakage in bedlam, maybe his pals, other people join in, mom can join in, in-laws in there busting up the thing. It's it's it's an event.

SPEAKER_05 36:54

Amy, I feel like I need to I need to talk to Amy real fast. Amy. Sure.

SPEAKER_03 36:58

I'm here for you, Rob. What you got?

SPEAKER_05 37:00

This idea sounds like it has come from someone who believes that once you have a kid, your life is over. I feel like if I came to a uh reveal party and dad went into a mock nursery and just obliterated it, I would be uncomfortable. Like I'd be like, oh, dad doesn't want to have a baby. Like, I would be really uncomfortable. Like I'd be looking around going, Are you are you guys okay with it?

SPEAKER_01 37:31

Like I wouldn't Would you be more or less comfortable than you would be if you got shot in the crotch with a smoke cannon?

SPEAKER_05 37:43

I will take I will take dad beating the crap out of a nursery over losing my junk any day. But but it still seems weird. Like it just seems weird, especially if it's like a mock, uh like a mock uh hospital room where they're gonna like it's just weird.

SPEAKER_03 37:59

There's a bottle of his wife, and he's just beating the hell out of it.

SPEAKER_01 38:03

No, no, I'm just trying to be thematic in keeping with the moment. It can be a it can be any kind of situation.

SPEAKER_05 38:10

It could be hit the belly, I think it's in the belly. Like, I don't like it. I don't like it.

SPEAKER_01 38:15

No, it's not a pinata, it's not a mom pinata. No, you're taking this to a weird mom yada, mom yada. Yeah, it's not a mom yada.

SPEAKER_04 38:24

Oh no, no, it's not a mom yada.

SPEAKER_01 38:27

I'm not recommending that. Uh and that is how I explained the birth process to my children, though, when they were younger.

SPEAKER_03 38:34

But no, it's not I have a lot of questions. So many fire away, fire away.

SPEAKER_02 38:40

Fire away, I guess they're prepared.

SPEAKER_03 38:43

So, one thing I'm thinking here is we're we're only talking about dads, which seems are you are we talking about like mom-dad pairs? What about our dad-dad pairs and our mom-mom pairs and our non-binary pairs?

SPEAKER_01 38:55

Okay, so for all the pairs, if there was one person who wants to blow stuff up, that's the person I'm focused on as the person that needs the intervention. They need the help.

SPEAKER_03 39:09

Gotcha.

SPEAKER_01 39:10

That can be anybody, or both. It could be both, and in some cases, I'm sure both pairs and the dyad, both sides of the dyad, are into creating an event.

SPEAKER_03 39:24

Fair enough.

SPEAKER_01 39:25

Don't you think?

SPEAKER_03 39:26

Yeah, no, I definitely think a couple of ladies could set fire to some stuff.

SPEAKER_01 39:38

Yeah, and so but the reason I've been focusing on dads is because most of the stories I read where things go wrong, it's a dad dad.

SPEAKER_03 39:45

Why are dads needing to break stuff all the time? What is the I don't rob will explain it to you.

SPEAKER_05 39:52

Never been a dad, so what is the Rob, explain why you need to break it when you when you have your first child, your life is over. I don't know. I don't know. Like I would like to be a contrarian here and say, no, that's not true. Dads don't like to blow stuff up. I it's I like to I like to see destruction. I don't know why. I don't know why. Maybe it's I don't know why. Wait a minute, you're coming around on this?

SPEAKER_01 40:23

I can't believe it.

SPEAKER_05 40:24

No, no, no. I'm I'm not coming around on it. I think this is a weird idea and I hate it, but I do understand. Like, I like to see things blow up. The same reason I like to sit and look at a fire when we're camping. I like to slowly see that log just you know give up his last breath to that flame. I don't know why. I I seem like a pyro right now, but it's it's just a thing.

SPEAKER_01 40:48

Like, no, not to Amy, you don't. She's the one pouring gasoline on logs and melting things. No, so first of all, I'm just this is a solution for people who are inclined to turn these things into a pyrotechnic event that gets filmed and posted.

SPEAKER_05 41:06

Everyone's it's your choice, it's your it's your choice of rooms. Like that's what's said, like one room, I'm gonna tell you if dad would take a room. If dad's taking out a nursery, a kitchen. A kitchen. Just do a kitchen.

SPEAKER_01 41:20

It's not very interesting.

SPEAKER_05 41:22

Oh, but a nursery or a uh a hospital room is delivery room?

SPEAKER_01 41:27

Wouldn't you okay? If you were watching that, wouldn't you rather see somebody bust up a mock nursery or school?

SPEAKER_05 41:33

No, I mean, let's be clear. I'm watching it. Like I like a train wreck, like I'm gonna watch it, but I'm gonna be uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_01 41:39

Okay, but I'm still watching. All right. What about like a veterinarian's office?

SPEAKER_03 41:46

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 41:49

Like for dogs or horses? Um it's important. Let's say small animal veterinarian.

SPEAKER_05 41:58

I'm out, it's boring. I want big, like like equipment things that you could break.

SPEAKER_01 42:04

I don't think you know what kind of equipment is used on a horse. I don't think you have the first idea.

SPEAKER_05 42:12

You don't know what I do when I when I'm not recording this podcast.

SPEAKER_01 42:15

I have never seen you within 50 miles of a horse.

SPEAKER_05 42:19

Oh my god, a horses cry when I get around. Heck, spoiler, spoiler for that rocket ball story. I was the big guy.

SPEAKER_01 42:28

I was the big guy.

SPEAKER_00 42:29

I'm not saying you were.

SPEAKER_01 42:30

I'm just saying there was one littler guy and there was one bigger guy. And interestingly, the bigger guy who's kind of like a giant, if he got touched, he would react. He would be very reactive. He also had shorts that never seemed to work, but that's a whole different thing.

SPEAKER_05 42:46

That's a whole other thing. There's a lot, there's a lot to manage inside those shorts.

SPEAKER_01 42:50

Look, that's because you haven't been to a reveal party and lost a junk. But if you're the kind of people who like this kind of excitement, here's a safer way where nobody gets killed. Are you with me that far? Hello? Okay. Well, this is what I was gonna ask you. So can you have an alternative activity that doesn't involve pyrotechnics or people being put at risk, their life and limb being put on the line just because people want to surprise the sex of their baby? You got it. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 43:28

I uh I just came up with it. I'm a big fan of uh horror movies. So everybody's sitting around, everybody's sitting around, they're they're eating their your their pate and and and chips and having beverages. And just yeah, I don't know. I I it doesn't matter, just just go with it. This party sucks already. All right, uh salta and ham hocks. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 43:56

Oh, that fixed it.

SPEAKER_05 43:57

Yeah, you say that's the worst. This is worse. So everybody's sitting around and dad or mom. It could be either one. It might even be funnier if it was mom if you could pull this off. Starts like, you know, just a little like, oh, I gotta clear something in her throat a little bit. And then breakout in the scene from Alien. So like it's like, oh you know, they're choking, everybody's grabbing them. And like the people that are grabbing you, trying to hold you down, they're in on it, right? Like, oh my God, oh my god. And then busts from your chest uh the the the gender. Like everybody and then like it starts coming out of your chest. You have like a fake arm, right? Like you're you're wearing a fake arm because your your arm is inside you doing all the business, right? And then you just bust it out with that little baby girl or baby boy, and it's like, I'm a girl, you know, and it's covered in fake blood. So she probably should have a sign that says, I'm a girl. But I think if you did that, people would remember it forever. One quick question is it liver pate? Have you ever told the pate story? Like, I don't know why Pate showed up. I've ever told the I have a Pate story. I'll save it for later. Uh but anyway, it doesn't matter. When are we ever gonna come back to Pate? You better tell it right now. So uh this is uh it was it was a it was uh someone had a um we just had a new baby party and uh we so we went over, I got invited to go to this party, and we're all sitting around and we're and we're looking at the baby and we're all eating snacks, and uh I partook in the pate, which uh I later found out was and I had like I had uh chip fulls of it. Like this is great. Uh I later found out that it was placenta pate. What are you telling me? She had made uh because this they were very earthy people.

SPEAKER_03 45:54

Oh no.

SPEAKER_05 45:55

To be fair, there was a sign on the pate that said this is placenta pate. The sign was on one of those little like like it was like a triangle stand. The stand got knocked over. I didn't know it was placenta pate, but there was a warning there, and I went all in. So yes, I possibly am a cannibal. But I had like I just remember Wow, like they're like, Hey, do you like the pate? And I was like, Yeah, it was pretty good. It was a little salty, but yeah, yeah, I liked it. It was great. And like, why are we all laughing? It's just I saw you had multiple scoops of it. I'm like, yeah, it was, you know, it was pate. I'm a big guy. I like to eat because I'm the big guy in the racquetball story.

SPEAKER_01 46:33

It's all pate and then someone you serve placenta pate. Your sign needs to be like a Times Square blinking neon sign.

SPEAKER_03 46:44

Yeah, you need to go around person to person and say to them, by the way, the pate is made of my placenta.

SPEAKER_05 46:50

Yeah, it was there was a sign because that was my argument. I'm like, like, mother boo! You know, why didn't you say there was a sign? Oh, it's knocked over. I'm so sorry, Rob.

SPEAKER_01 47:03

That is sick. That I never I never heard you tell that story. I will try to instantly forget it. I would I wish I'd known when you were telling that where it was going, because I would have gone on the head end. I would have gone right to the head end on this score.

SPEAKER_04 47:17

We were down at the business end, right to the screen.

SPEAKER_01 47:18

I was at the business end of that scoring, Amy. That's right where we were. We were right there. We were like Snappy McSnapperson. That's not the first.

SPEAKER_03 47:26

We just got a face full of placenta liver pate.

SPEAKER_01 47:31

So, Amy, do you have a solution? Can you get us out of this with something that will work? Okay.

SPEAKER_03 47:35

I say when your kid turns 15 or 12 or 9 or whatever, they throw their own gender reveal party when they're ready to say what their gender is. Boy, girl, non-binary, let the kid do it.

SPEAKER_01 47:51

Um, I think that we have presented a range of options. Rage Room, horror movie reenacting, and also finally, grown-up parents and waiting for their child to define who they are on their own. Um, I'm not sure which one's gonna be more popular, Rage Room.

SPEAKER_03 48:15

Yeah. I think I think a certain section of people is gonna be after that rage room. You're you're not wrong, Ross.

SPEAKER_01 48:22

Well, that's who I'm this I'm catering to the people who are leaning in this direction. People who are on in your world, Amy, the sophisticated, intelligent, you know, those people either won't do any of this or they'll have their own thing, right?

SPEAKER_04 48:40

Sure.

SPEAKER_01 48:40

I'm talking to people like me who like blowing up plastic models.

SPEAKER_05 48:46

I think this would make a good uh Twitter poll. Like I think people on Twitter should vote which is the better.

SPEAKER_03 48:52

Oh, there you go. Are some of the options gonna hurt my feelings?

SPEAKER_05 48:58

Amy that you're gonna get all the votes.

SPEAKER_01 49:00

Everybody know, Amy, yours is obviously the right one. Yes, yes. If this were a test and it was rage room, horror or sensible solution, uh, or D. Placenta. One of one of the guys is bigger and sensitive.

SPEAKER_03 49:25

And the other was small and angular. Bone.

SPEAKER_01 49:28

I think it was bone, bony. I think he said a bones, yeah, bones running loose in a room. Uh bridge room. Bridge room. Man, this was so close to being an episode.

SPEAKER_05 49:44

I really yeah, it was it was a pretty solid attempt.

SPEAKER_01 49:48

I really appreciate uh both of you for doing this, and um, I want to thank our listeners for joining us too. If for some reason you like what we're doing, we we would like us on Twitter.

SPEAKER_03 50:04

For some reason, stop laughing, stop laughing.

SPEAKER_01 50:08

If for some reason you like what we're doing, we could certainly use your help to grow our little community into a bigger, littler community. We could grow it from a small animal veterinary office to a horse veterinary office, and that would make Rob happy. Uh, you can follow us on Instagram and Twitter. Uh, your ratings and reviews really do help us. And uh support us on Patreon if you can. And just join us. We love having you. Send us an encouraging email, ask us questions, um, ask questions that Rob should answer. We are Love Star. That's one thing the three of us haven't come. And we hope you will tune in to another episode because whether you are stuck playing poker in a delivery room, or just someone going to town in a rage room, it's important to remember that we all smell like humans. Goodbye, everybody!